Published: | United States

The Unsaid Rules of Dating Apps

Tinder, Bumble, Coffee Meets Bagel, DilMil, myTamilDate – the list goes on.

Whether it be for a casual relationship, a long term relationship or just a way to kill time, either you or someone you know has been on one of these apps. But are you using these apps the right way? Are you following all the 'unsaid' rules to get the most of what you want out of these apps? Here are all the rules you need to find what YOU consider to be success on a dating app.

1. Know exactly what you want

Why are you here?

There are three categories you will fall into:
i. You want to find THE ONE (and yes it can happen on dating apps – I am living proof).

ii. You’re open-minded and will just go with the flow depending on who you click with.

iii. You’re just here for fun a.k.a. you are procrastinating from actual school/work and are looking for a good time.

Whatever category you fall into, STICK TO THAT. Don’t start showing “girlfriend” traits if this is a casual relationship. Don’t be disengaged if you’re looking for something serious.

2. Don’t get too serious, too quick

Even if you are here to find the one, start slow. Dating apps have developed a “bad rep” so to say, over the past few years. There is a huge misconception that nobody is on the app looking for someone to spend the rest of their life with. Not only am I here to prove this wrong, but a lot of my closest friends have found their significant other through dating apps. You just have to play your cards right. And the most important card is the card of ‘taking it slow.’ Don’t talk about being in a relationship, marriage, or kids until you really know the person you are dating. This could take a couple of months or a few months depending on the depth of your conversation and the vibe you create. Either way, just relax, take a breath and take it one day at a time. Just don’t jump the gun and scare the other person.

3. If you can’t decide on if you want to swipe right or left – always swipe right

You can always stop talking to someone if you’re not into each other, but only after you’ve given it a chance. If you immediately swipe left, you’re not even giving them the opportunity to get to know you. I distinctly remember swiping through this guy’s picture a few times, not knowing which way to swipe. I swiped right, just to give him the benefit of the doubt and now we’re happily married!

4. Don’t do anything you don’t feel comfortable doing

This is KEY. Meeting on a dating app comes with a stigma, but don’t feel the need to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. You don’t owe anyone anything just because you met on a dating app. Also, the way someone reacts in this type of situation gives you insight on what kind of person that individual really is.  Are they going to force you to do something you don’t want to do or do they understand where you’re coming from and respect your feelings.

5. Don’t expect anything

The worst thing you can do is to go into a first date with your expectations as high as the sky. I’ll give you a heads up right now – he’s not going to be perfect and he may not have anything that you’re looking for. But that’s okay. Go in with an open mind. You’re just meeting someone new, someone that could end up being just a friend. The key is to be yourself. Don’t wear your hottest outfit or wear a full face of makeup. You’re setting yourself up for failure by doing that. Just be comfortable and confident in how you’re presenting yourself.

Make sure you have the right intentions for what you want out of using dating apps and I promise everything will fall into place! Happy dating!

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