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Meet the couple
Shana (S): I am 28 years old, I was born and raised in Paris, France and I have decided to move to Toronto as a Canadian Permanent Resident in 2019. I have worked in the Cosmetic Industry in France as a Product Development Engineer and I have created an opportunity to become an Industrial Designer in Cosmetics in a company based in Toronto and took the chance. Cosmetics is a real passion of mine, so much so that I have started as a freelance Make Up Artist & Hair Stylist under the name @ShinewithShana. I am also a big foodie and I love to cook any cuisine and try out some new receipes or new places to eat.
Ramesh (R): I am 31 years old and live in Brampton. I work as a Distribution Logistics Supervisor and really enjoy my field. I have a huge passion for cars and work on them with my friends in my free time. I love travelling, food and gaining new experiences.
When did you first join myTamilDate.com ?
S: I joined the website in August 2019 from the recommendation of a friend from London who told me to try it out.
R: I heard about myTamilDate.com through my cousins, who encouraged me to join. I joined myTamilDate.com in March 2019.
Who messaged first?
S: I did!
What first attracted you to the other person and made you want to meet in person?
S: His profile picture and the description on his profile which totally matched with my aspirations. I really liked it and I felt so much positive energy, kindness and I was immediately curious about knowing more about him.
R: What initially attracted me to Shana was her enthusiasm in her bio and her smile in her pictures. After chatting with her and getting to know her I was more than eager to meet her.
From messaging to the first date, how much time passed?
S: 2 weeks, which was pretty fast and luckily I was coming to Canada for vacation so I could meet him.
Where did you go for your first date and how was it?
R: Our first date went well and gave us a great opportunity to get to know each other in person. We started the day at Scarborough bluffs where we hung out for some time and talked. We then went to Dinner at a local Thai Restaurant. And in the evening, we drove around the city and found a nice spot to park to continue the conversations further.
Some studies say that within 30 seconds of meeting a new person, we can gauge attraction. Was that true for you?
S: Yes! It confirmed how I felt about him with our virtual connection.
R: I believe that was true for me. Although the first 30 seconds for me was through myTamildate.com, the combination of the right picture and detailed bio helped me gauge my attraction to Shana.
When did you realize that this was your ‘special someone’ and you could see yourself spending the rest of your life with them? How do you feel about the saying ‘when you know, you know’?
S: Ramesh is very caring and showed me in so many ways that he really cared about me through many actions. The more we spent time together, the more our connection was deeper and stronger. I knew he was the one because of the connection and what we both wanted, our vision of a relationship was the same.
R: I realized this was my special someone after a few dates. I put effort into finding out what Shana was looking for in life and expressed to her what I wanted out of life. I believe in the saying “When you know, you know” especially when you are self aware and understand what the other person is looking for. Both parties knowing their truths and accepting the other's, is the key to getting you to that moment faster.
How did your respective families and friends react to the fact you met on a dating site?
S: My family is very open-minded. They were really happy for me and they wanted me to give them the name of the website to recommend it to other people.
R: My family was very happy that I had found someone regardless of how and where. They are open to the idea of meeting someone on a dating site and it has become more of a norm over the past few years.
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What advice would you give to those looking for love but finding it difficult to meet someone?
S: For me I just believe that if you are really looking for something, you have to try it, make efforts and give it a chance. I do not know many people in Toronto apart from my relatives so I knew that I won’t get chances easily in person to meet someone. I believe that it is the same for people that do not really go out, party or making any effort to make new connections. You can’t just sit and wait that things happen, sometimes you have to make things happen for yourself. I am very open-minded and I saw this dating website as an opportunity to meet someone that I couldn’t meet in a traditional way.
R: My advice would be that nothing good comes easy. As individuals we are all different and have different requirements that we look for when we want to be with someone. You can’t compare yourself to other couples because what you are looking for is unique to you and will take how ever long it is supposed to. If you stay optimistic and give yourself opportunities to meet new people, I am confident you will find that right match.
Even though online dating is the most effective and popular way to get married these days, some people in the Tamil community still find it to be a taboo. What would you say to them?
S: I think they shouldn’t really care about the fact that it is online dating but more about how happy the kids are by meeting this way. If the relatives are understanding and you can make them understand, they can only be happy for you. If they are stubborn and you can’t explain the benefits, then they will remain with this type of mentality, they won’t evolve and they will see it as a problem instead of a solution.
R: I don’t believe that opinion holds any weight especially if it comes from couples that have already been married. They have already found someone using practices that worked for them, but which also was possibly looked at as taboo from another group or generation as well. Their judgement on how someone else finds love in these different times with a different mindset of people really doesn’t matter because they aren’t going through the challenges of dating now. To the single people who still find it taboo, I would say, although practices and systems change over the years, what doesn’t change is that they are all meant to create opportunity in meeting someone. So why limit your opportunity.
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