In the hushed anticipation of new life, a silent struggle often unfolds. As a newborn and maternity photographer, I've witnessed countless families on the precipice of joy, yet shadowed by an unspoken anxiety. The weight of tradition, the pressure to produce an "heir" to carry the family name, travels across oceans and settles heavily here, in many Canadian homes. It's a burden that transcends generations, this idea that a child's gender dictates their worth, a notion deeply rooted in our Tamil culture from places like Sri Lanka, now echoing in the lives of many Tamils raised in Canada.
I grew up in a home filled with the laughter of four girls. But behind that laughter, I saw the pain etched on amma's face. For not bearing a son, she was often left in the shadows, deemed "unlucky" or unworthy of participating fully in auspicious events. The sting of societal judgment, the whispers and sideways glances, took their toll, often leaving her in anguish. Yet, with unwavering strength and an ocean of love, she raised us to be fiercely independent.
Gender reveals, meant to be celebrations, became a source of deep-seated anxiety. We yearned for amma to experience the acceptance, the perceived "joys" of having a son, a grandson even. When five granddaughters arrived, the outdated criticisms resurfaced. Cruel remarks like "you guys are cursed" or "what's in the water?" pierced our hearts. How could the arrival of a healthy, beautiful girl be met with such negativity? It took time, for amma and even for me, to truly grasp that the greatest blessing was simply a healthy baby. Now, she celebrates the powerful bond of sisterhood, the resilience of women, and her remarkable all-female legacy.
Eventually, Amma welcomed two grandsons, finally "ticking that box." But what we discovered was profound: these boys, like the girls, were simply children. At the heart of it all, it's how we nurture, the values we instill, and the love we give that truly matters. These are the treasures that far outweigh any notion of gender superiority.
Today, in 2025, the world is changing. Many women keep their maiden names, breaking free from old constraints. But the question lingers: will the idea of a "superior" gender fade away entirely? I hope, with all my heart, that the answer is yes.
