"Ungalukku eppa kalyanam?"
"You're next huh?"
I'm not the first, and won’t be the last, to be asked that at a wedding - but the feeling sucks all the same.
Growing up on a steady diet of Tamil movies had me optimistic (read: delusional) about finding “the one,” but with each passing year, it’s definitely easier to get paranoid about finding the right person.
To rub salt in the wound, one time a friend was like "bro you were the president of a Tamil Students' Association, how did you not manage to find someone?"
And to that - I had no answer (other than that red used to be my favorite color?).
But the point stands, I, like many people - do not have a significant other. (Unless you wanna change that, in which case hmu)
And no Amma, for the millionth time - I don’t have a secret girlfriend I’m hiding from you.
We all talk about girl math and boy math, but what about Kalyanam math?
For context: here's my inner voice whenever someone asks when I'm getting married.
"Mayu, you're 23 right now - and you want to get married at 27 - letting you enjoy marriage for three years then having a kid at 30."
But to make sure you're getting married to the right person - you want to be with them for a minimum of five years. (Red is no longer my favorite color - hence the five years).
This means that if you wanted to get married at 27, you should've gotten into a relationship with the "one" last year.
You're already late man - you botched all of this and you're gonna die a loner.”
Is this even healthy? We'll revisit that in 10 years.
At least this is working then, right? Nope. Nowhere close to finding someone I'm into.
(if you wanted to change that though, definitely hmu)
The point is, there's a bunch of weird mental gymnastics the average person goes through when they think about getting married.
And the constant pressure of being asked about their relationship status all the time definitely doesn’t help.
This is definitely advice I need to take, but sometimes it’s worth looking around and appreciating the people already in your life.
Each day you spend stressing about not having a partner is another day you miss out on the company of your friends and family.
I wasted so much time waiting for my Vaaranam Aayiram Surya moment that I left way too many memories with the people already in my life unappreciated.
In hindsight, I did have a Vaaranam Aayiram Surya moment - maybe I should’ve been a bit more specific?
But the point is, most of life is literally us going through seemingly “average” things every day.
By learning to find the magic in our daily lives, we become that much happier.
And everyone loves a happy person (except apparently anyone I’ve ever been into, but that’s a story for another day)
Pro tip: The next time someone asks when you're getting married - ask to marry their son or daughter.