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"How a Message on myTamilDate.com Led to an Engagement for Lavanya & Vitharan"
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Images from 5th Element Photography by Biranavan.
The first time I met my wife Renu was 10 years ago at the temple. It’s an annual tradition of mine to attend the thaier festival with my friend KJ. It was the half way point of the festival when my friend noticed Renu whom he knew from school. We went over and I introduced myself. Everyone who knows me would say I am not much of a talker or conversationalist. I let my friend carry on the conversation while I kept thinking to myself how beautiful she was. After our initial meeting, I saw Renu again the following year, and only because she invited KJ to her friend’s birthday and I tagged along.
We were supposed to have a BBQ that day, but it was raining. I’m not entirely sure if we even ended up BBQing, but what I do remember is starring at her eyes for most of the evening. Thereafter, Renu was a nerd and focused on school and didn’t really hang out with friends, so we lost touch for the most part of university. I didn’t care much for school, so I had a lot of time to meet friends along the way. It so happened that these same friends also ended up becoming Renu's friends, after she had graduated of course and decided to have a social life.
I was pleasantly surprised when I saw her again after all those years, and still had a sense of closeness to her for some odd reason. I kept telling myself that it’s just 'cause I knew her from before that maybe I was just comfortable with her. This closeness and comfortableness was apparent to our friends and one day Vithusha, thinking we would make a good couple, took action and told me Renu liked me.
I was a coward at that time and not ready to think about being in a relationship or act on Vithusha's news. Maybe more so because I knew I did have real feelings for Renu. My fear of commitment, and the thought of our friendship being ruined, resulted in both of us living our lives separately, and gaining experiences that moulded us into who we are today. While we were not a couple at the time, we were able to build a really solid friendship.
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A couple of years passed and those feelings I had for her didn’t go away, but instead grew stronger. I wanted her to be my partner and knew she would make a great wife. One day I tricked her into going to a movie with me. I used to watch a lot of movies with a group of friends (Renu included). I would contact everyone and also buy their tickets, telling them they can pay me back later. This one time, I knew that no one else was able to attend, but I told Renu that the others were coming. She was surprised to find out it was just us two and suggested “Should we rain check?” but in the end, we watched the movie together.
This movie day was just a week or two after my birthday, so I casually asked her what she got me as a present. She was like “Ohh umm lets go out for dinner at Jacks?” To me this felt like an official first date, but she wasn't under that impression, because apparently I had never shared any of my feelings or gave any signs of wanting to be in a relationship. Unfortunately, after our movie and dinner date/not date hangout, I wasn’t well and only maintained touch with Renu over text messages (No wonder she never considered Jack’s as a date!).
About 6 months later, Renu invited me to her 25th birthday and all of our friends went to the beach soon after. This was the big day when I worked up the courage to officially ask her out- but of course, I had to get creative yet again to make it happen. As we were packing up to head back home, I told her that I left my phone back where we were all sitting. She ran back with me to go get it, at which point I told her I liked her a lot and wanted to be in a relationship with her. She took her time to think about it, but to my relief, agreed!
The first 7 years of our relationship may have moved slowly, but from this point onwards everything moved at a rapid pace. 1 Year into dating, I asked her to marry me. The 2nd year we had our civil ceremony, and in the 3rd year on September 2nd, 2017 we were married. One word to sum up how we felt on our big weekend would be “Blessed.” We are truly lucky to be surrounded by a huge group of loving family members and friends that enabled our relationship to be where it is today. The pictures of our big day completely capture our love story.
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