Why do some Tamil parents feel the need to compare their children with another? Why can’t you just accept them for who they are? By saying that one person is doing this and another is doing that, not all children are going take that comparison as a motivation. You may think that comparing them to others is a form of motivation, but in reality it’s not. Making kids feel like a disappointment isn’t going to encourage them to improve themselves or reach their full potential. By making them conform to the way you think, it has the chance of killing so many passions and reducing their confidence. Just because another person's child has reached a good moment in life quicker than your child doesn’t make them any less accomplished or someone for you to be proud of.
Start appreciating the best in your children rather than making them feel crap about shortcomings. Tell them “it’s okay, you’ll get there,” rather than “look at Rathy, she’s done her driving, finished her violin - what have you done to make me proud?” Think about what THEY want and need, not what you think they need because everyone in society is doing it. And don’t make them do something just because you fear what society will say. Every human being needs to take their own time to fulfill their potential. By rushing them and comparing them, they’re not going to magically speed up and become that ideal child. For some, it’s easy to ignore pressures from comparisons, but there are some who end up so impacted by them, their whole mindset changes. This can lead to really negative consequences.
Humans are not all the same. Why would you want your child to be a replica of someone else? Why not push them to be more, to be themselves? When it comes to looks, studies, athletic abilities and more - everyone is unique. Praise your child for being the best they can be, don’t stomp on them.
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