An Open Letter to Young Tamil Men

female sexuality

Dear Young Tamil Men,

Remember this conversation?

“So what do you think of her?” says one young Tamil man to another.

“She’s banging. But yo, I don’t think she’s the type you’d want to marry,” his friend replies.

“What do you mean? You heard something bad about her?” The young Tamil man presses his friend anxiously but dreads hearing more.

“Well, how do I put this lightly? Let’s just say she’s been around. Her ex told me some messed up things about her. I would stay away from that girl if I were you.”

The young Tamil man is downcast yet relieved. “Is it just me or are a lot of Tamil girls sluts nowadays? There are like no decent girls left.”

“Word,” says his friend as they shake their head in derision and disgust while they repeat the process, this time with another female target in mind.

Are you surprised by this conversation? Shocked? You shouldn’t be because this is a conversation that occurs frequently within the Tamil community.

Don’t get me wrong. I am not solely targeting Tamils. In fact, this conversation could be applied to any society that places a strong emphasis on female chastity. Yet regardless of the culture, this is a conversation that should not be happening. Especially not in this day and age. (And to add as a disclaimer, I have no problems with women who choose not to be sexually active. That is their choice. What I do have a problem with are people – men or women – who assess someone’s character solely by their virginity or lack thereof.)

There seems to be a flawed assumption somewhere in the depths of our patriarchal culture that the ideal woman should be angelic and innocent, blushing at the mere mention of words like “sex” or “penis”. Sometimes, when my anger doesn’t blind me, I kind of empathize with you.

Some of you grew up hearing stories from the epic Ramayana and learning of the modest, angelic Sita. You probably sat there thinking, “Of course, one day I will marry a Sita. A Sita who will constantly prove her chastity to me and the world by jumping into a fire whenever doubts were cast upon her character.”

As if this wasn’t enough, the Tamil movies you grew up watching added to the damage. You were constantly bombarded by meaningless plots that depicted a meek, beautiful Barbie doll who emulated Sita. On the other hand, it was the villainess of the movie who oozed sexiness and lust that was at once appreciated in the form of an erection yet hated for being “slutty”.

I’m sure you whistled with all your might when Rajnikanth famously differentiated the three types of women in the hit film Padaiyappa. In his opinion, the three types of women were the type you revere like a goddess, the type you want to have sex with, and the type you’re in mortal fear of. Of course, the character Padaiyappa chooses the homely and innocent Soundarya while defacing the strong sex appeal exuding Neelambari, a decision you probably applauded.

In these narratives, you were accustomed to seeing depicted women as polarized figures – either modest and righteous or sexually active and evil. Well, did it ever occur to you that women – even Tamil women – can be both righteous and sexually active? It probably didn’t because the idea of sexual purity has become the measuring stick for assessing good character in Tamil women.

Yet this is not the case for Tamil men. Let’s be honest – Tamil men get to have full sexual freedom when it comes to dating and hook-ups. And we Tamil women are expected to complacently accept your indiscretions as if it were your right as men to explore and enjoy life, and as if questioning this right is blasphemous.

Let me tell you something that may boggle your mind. Tamil men – you may have to sit down for this one. But we Tamil women get horny too. Contrary to popular belief, we have sexual urges as well. Just as you experience complete sexual liberation, we wish to have the same without being judged and ridiculed as “not marriage material”. We are not objects to be judged as “easy” or “used” and are disgusted that you would even use these terms to describe us.

Along with this, not all of us believe in the idea of marrying the first guy we date. And just like you, some of us want adventure and fun in our teens and twenties. Stop putting us on a pedestal and comparing us to an ideal that is not only completely unnatural, but boring.

And while you’re at it, please erase this barbaric idea that being modest is the only way to be righteous. There are many sexually promiscuous women who are also intelligent, charitable, kind, empathetic and many other positive traits. The choice to be sexually promiscuous or chaste should not be central in defining a woman. So instead of putting virgin on the top of your checklist when assessing a woman, try putting qualities such as intelligence or independence and see where it will take you.

Hoping for a change,

Young Tamil Women

* * * * *

The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect TamilCulture’s editorial policy.

For an alternative perspective, check out: “The Voices of Feminist Tamilachis”.

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Author

Niveda Anandan

Niveda Anandan

Niveda Anandan is in her final year of a Bachelor of Science degree in Integrative Biology, English literature, and Psychology at the University of Toronto. She is a writer at Tamil Feminist and is passionate about issues pertaining to gender inequality. You can follow other articles with related themes at http://kumukam.com/tamilfeminist/.

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837 comments
Kalacharam
Kalacharam

The woman who wrote this article is wrong.... I was born and raised in Germany and nobody in my family had premarital sex. I  am a 20 years old guy , and I am saving myself for my future wife.

Pre martial sex should never be encouraged,especially for girls , because it has so many negative effect on their life. Nivetha you are very pretty , such a shame your parents didn't teach you about Tamil  culture.

If what is meant by experience is premarital s#x,  then probably most of the girls would already lose their virginity before marriage. If this happens, the girls are the ones who will suffer in the long  run. If boys come to know that the girls are available for free, they will go to any extreme to exploit the girls by enticing them with money, gifts, outings, and dishonest love.  Girls will suffer more: teenage pregnancy, abortion, illegitimate children filling orphanages, diseases, loss of hope resulting in chaos in family  affecting education and jobs at very young age, etc.  Virginity is the only virtue that will protect them as the strongest weapon. Girls should never lose it willingly unless it is taken away from them by force.

KuttyPuli
KuttyPuli

@Kalacharam

You don't often see   Tamil girls from the country  slooting it up, hanging out in clubs, being a mess etc...Normally raised in a strict home with moral values. they are more spiritual. most of them smarter than your average insta/fb/twitter sheep sloot.

Can just imagine a lot of them being good relationship material and they can make you dat hnng spicy food..

Gonna be my next wifey! Well Sri Lankan Tamil to be precise but close enough! Sick of the Bullchit with western women and their fuarked up drama. Also at my age the best I am gonna do in this society is a 25-40 year old milf sloot with about 3 kids. With a bride from the actual country I can get a young hot looking VIRGIN honey between the ages of 18-21. As OP says, s#x whenever I want, clean house, cooked food, no being questioned about my whereabouts when I get home. The perfect deal. Only a fool would turn down something like that!

In fact right now I am having my grandfather and some other relatives find me a bride (SRS). We are DAMNED lucky to have an asian background and have this option. I am going to utilize. All you haters are all talk. You would be doing it too if you had the choice!

lesridu93
lesridu93

Firstly,the  writter in this article is trying to promote pre marital sex, we do not want our sisters to become left overs,teenager mothers ,widows.We do not want to become like white people  who like likes beasts. Their society only breeds drug addicts and criminals, half of white kids do not know who their real fathers is....I would like to say that Tamil culture is the oldest and still living cilivisation on this world, have some respect I know that half of kids in Canada cannot speak/write or read Tamil fluetenly  but this is not a reason to become a self hating parasyte. 

Secondely people who use words like 'love' to counter attack, please do not do so. Love is a different topic altogether. Stop using 'love' as an means to win any conversation.

Thirdely  Tamil men do not like their wives and daughters to be naked in front of another men. Hate us, all you want. But that's who we are. Blame biology, psychology, science, religion. Blame me if you want to. That does not change the truth.

How does it matter to other men ?

Women have no clue that, in fact, many men want them to believe that it is fine to have s#x with any number of men. This idea, that, s#x is a small thing, have been cultivated by these men in their mind. Men who wanted to have s#x with them. If women feel that it is wrong to have random sex, it will become a lot more difficult to for these men to get sex from multiple women.

Other men, want the girls to understand these men and their intentions. But they have failed. Nowdays in the european Eelam Tamil community, we have arround 10% of left overs, who sleep arround and then  cries when nobody marries them.The bad thing with does kind of parasytes , is that most of time they lie about their past in other to corrupt a nice guy , and than  cheat on that person back. I really feel sorry for Nivetha's' parents (if she had any), they did not taught her what was Tamil culture.Here in France except  the lower castes most of kids respect Tamil culture, we are also enrolled to Tamil classes to learn the language and to pass it onto the next generation.

Viki9
Viki9

Hmmm..help me here..few genuine questions..I'm hoping you'll give reasonable answers.. Why is wrong when I ask someone if he/she is a virgin and why is it okay if someone asks me my salary?

Also, Why is your view about chastity the correct view? Please don't tell me it is the popular view or something along those lines..

why does one need to write open letters about silly stuff like this? Aren't there worse things about our culture that are more deserving of the attention..like. dowry harassment..If the author does not like such men, then why doesn't she just stay away from them..

Basically, here's what I'm saying, let people live their lives the way they want. It is only a problem when they talk about you behind your back or if they are being hypocrites.

Am I wrong? Why?

"In his opinion, the three types of women were the type you revere like a goddess, the type you want to have sex with, and the type you’re in mortal fear of. Of course, the character Padaiyappa chooses the homely and innocent Soundarya while defacing the strong sex appeal exuding Neelambari, a decision you probably applauded."

In the movie, the actor also seems to be after only one woman. He does not chase every other woman.

"Yet this is not the case for Tamil men. Let’s be honest – Tamil men get to have full sexual freedom when it comes to dating and hook-ups. And we Tamil women are expected to complacently accept your indiscretions as if it were your right as men to explore and enjoy life, and as if questioning this right is blasphemous."

Really? where does it show that he is after all the women? Extrapolating aren't we?

I would take a good guess - Ar eally strong one from me: the author saw the scene and had an angst filled moment- ' I need to vent about this' and came this post. 

I am a 25 years old Tamil man, born in Europe and I never drinked, smoked or even touch a member of the opposite sex... The same can be said for my sisters/brothers and most of my Tamil friends. Nivetha probably slept with a lower cast bad plastic bad boy with earings and is now blaming all Tamil men lol. It's sad that girls like Nivetha who give their virginity just like that and than cry about it when nobody wants to marry them, tarnish the names of pure westernized Tamil girls. Like many people have said  before there is a  huge population of chaste and young girls in our community, only a fool would marry the non virgin.  Probably one of those Tamil girls, who can't speak/read/ or write TAMIL ,that end up marrying a beta white boy! I really hope you don't have any siblings, if yes you just ruined their name in the community. 


DeutchThamizhan
DeutchThamizhan

Nivetha , you are such a joke you want to sleep around and except boys to not judge you?HAHHAHA  The problem is that the girl in this aricle is young and so she is obviously wants to have   s#x before marriage and according to our Tamil culture, both boys and girls who have sex before marriage and sex outside marriage are considered as bad people with no morality and shame. The boys must have assumed it  that she had sex before marriage and that's why they gave such reactions and comments which are correct. If all the girls in the world become non-virgin before marriage then I will prefer to stay single till my death.

Do you know about "honour killings" happening in all over the world ? When the family members, especially parents find out that a girl is having sex before marriage, they murder her in anger. When a husband finds out that his wife is having sex with another man and cheating him in marriage, then that husband murders his wife in anger.

 If women like you (Nivetha) want to risk getting murdered by someone and if you want to have sex at any cost then you can go ahead with it. Don't get shocked if  the tamil community witnesses a sudden rise in honour killings with the rise in sexual activities. You women will be responsible for angering your parents and husbands and you will be responsible for your own deaths. This world will be a better place if one-by-one all the characterless girls and boys are murdered in honour killings. Unlike white people ,there are sill many chaste girl in our community especially in the motherland, only a fool would end up with a non virign, when he can have a clean and pure wife without history. Nobody wants a sl#t as a mother for you kids.


Soleilvert
Soleilvert

My answer is from the pov of guys who chose to remain virgin. Its just like  choosing a partner with vegetarian, non-smoker/non-alcoholic traits. As a virgin, I  don't think a non-virgin will ever value my virginity, heck they  don't even care about these things.You see, non-virgins will always be  firm on the point that virginity doesn't matter. They say that they know  this because they had s#x, and thus experienced. I am not against a  per-marital sex, but against the belief that being a virgin doesn't  matter to everybody or being a virgin you don't have the right to choose  one. To virgins, virginity matters a lot, I mean we are just wired that way. Just like you can't change introvert, you can't change people who decided to remain virgin till marriage. Most virgins imagine the  first s#x as a spiritual one, a real bonding with the other half. Believe it or not but women are not the only one to dream of "the one". 

Now the controversial part :

People generalize all the three categories of male into one single category of MCP. Also, this  is very vague to say if one partner is experienced, he/she will guide  the other. Reproduction is the basic instinct of all immortal species on  the planet. Nobody taught anyone to jerk-off, it just happened.  Coitus/copulation is encoded in everybody's gene. And yes s#x changes a  person. It's true: Sex changes the brain - and it IS different for men and women. And people consciously or sub-consciously compares s#x with previous partners. Women more nostalgic than men about s#x with an ex - with over a THIRD saying s#x with past partner was better.

As  virgins are expected not to judge non-virgins, non-virgins should also  be expected not to judge a person who seeks to explore his/her sexuality  with only one  person who also has zero knowledge about the subject. And  nobody has the right to moral-policing anybody about his/her  preference. Nobody baits an eye when vegetarians/non-alcoholic decides  to choose their likes, or people choose a certain level of educational  qualification or even caste/religion, but everybody looses their mind  when virgins decides to choose their likes.

And  a suggestion to  Nivetha is that disclose everything about yourself  before marriage, give correct information related to every detail, or  else you will make the life hell for both of you. Its better you tell  them yourself, because if they come to know from other sources and that  too after marriage, then the trust issues will arise. Then the questions  that creep-in are : what else did/can he/she lie about? OR Do I really  know the person I am married to? Marriage is going to last lifelong, and  you just can't fake everything 24x7, so its better to be frank and  decide if you both are really compatible with each other. Many virgins don't care about virginity and will be compatible with anybody. 

Illanga
Illanga


Why do Tamil guys marry virgins?

ANSWER:- Yes, why womens will not marry beggars?

Reasons:-

Girl anyways does not loves you nor cares for your sh#t as she gets married for your money. As she was despo at that situation, she married to you without revealing that her mind is already occupied with some other guy emotions. (s#x is emotion builder).

If going in Tamil traditional methodology, girls are considered to be pious as they are "mother" of their families, if she is not pious, what moral values she will imbibe into your family your kids.

There is no guarantee that she will not have a "affair" with you and leave you and your family high and dry .

Those who will ask what is the guarantee that virgin women are bad cheaters, then answer is simple, she was able to control her urges till marriage for her husband, she will know importance of her "s#xuality".

For those people who support family as in its core institution, must understand that western countries values are not acceptable to Tamil culture in any way possible.

If you want to ape western culture, make sure that you leave your family at age of 18 years, dont ask for any pocket money for maintaining girlfriend from your father. Your father can file police case on you for demanding money for even your education.

Those males supporting non-virgin wife must see their own family members as non-virgins. Can you accept that your Mom or Sister has slept with multiple partners? Have you asked this question to yourself? If hypothecally, you know that your Mom has slept with someone other then your father, then what you will do (of course in Tamil society)? What respect you will have for her? 

Those males supporting non-virgin wife, do you think that getting laid is only thing that can make you loser or winner? There are many famous people in the  western Sri Lankan Tamil community  who eclipse over people like you and have contributed to . . Easily you can purchase sex anywhere hence no glamorification.

Those females who support non-virginity before marriage, can you please entail your educational quality, intuitions, probability of losing virginity to non-serious males in such info-hogging age? 5 in 100 girls can have "he cheated me to have s#x/rape" story, if you increase that figure to 10 in 100 then its a hoax. The girl commits the mistakes and is imposing as victim.

Females cannot stop thinking themselves or allow others in the society to think of themselves other then "VICTIMS".They cant wallow at any idea other there are other roles in society for them except "being victim".Feminity in Canada, is very much inflamed and hyped. There are rules where girl can cry rape after consensual s#x, they are often overused, then if your wife had this option, why she did not pursue that? Why she didnt had the spine of marrying the guy she loved? Or did she need comfort of your wealth? Does loves comes and goes so quickly? Is her love so fluid?

The solution is test for "love" with same parameters as used by her, if she does not wants a divorce, she must earn equal or above than you, she should have equal or above property (by means of her earning or by means of dowry).. Oh please, don't think is asking dowry 

Elgin
Elgin

Nivetda was only 21 when she wrote this article, what a disgusting girl.....She screwed her whole life., a Tamil guy probably used her for sex and then dumped her to marry a virgin girl lol. 

Elgin
Elgin

I don’t like the way Niveda generalised girls, even though she did say she had nothing against Tamil girls who don’t wish to give up their virginity. But she clearly was, as could be seen by the “hoping for a change, young Tamil women” ending, implying all young Tamil women agreed with her views.

Why do western Tamil women hate Tamil guys who only want virgins?

You really don't have to be a genius on why virgin brides are better lifetime partners (marriage). 

But why the hate? 

You'll hear  from westernised Tamil females :he has a small penis, scared of an a experienced woman, can't perform in bed, and all the blah blah that comes out of their mouth. 

But we know there's women out there who have there set standards for a potential mate. 

So why do guys get so much grief about this innocent topic.  Its because most  of Tamil women in the west don't fit that criteria. They have already slept around with numerous men and the idea of men preferring virgins makes them feel insecure and unworthy. They figure that llashing out and making men who prefer virgins seem like losers, will be a good way to get back their power. But is is not working on Tamil guys, even the one that sleep arround usualy marry a virgin girl, nobody wants to marry a left over.

Illanga
Illanga

@Elgin

The solution is test for "love" with same parameters as used by her, if she does not wants a divorce, she must earn equal or above than you, she should have equal or above property (by means of her earning or by means of dowry).. Oh please, don't think is asking dowry makes you a pig, girls earning nothing or less then 10k with expectations of 80k pm with 3bhk in central bangalore man and having "I am a princess, dont work" facebook rant, surely make you looks pretty good.

The entire conversation boils down to what are roles of females in Tamil society.. Should a female fight for her identity in her own field of interest and attain her karma? Or she is interested in mating with alpha males only? Or should she be considered as liability or parasite?


Selva93
Selva93


An open advice to a confused author

Hi Ms. Confused,

Why did you select this topic to make a fun of yourself? What did you really undergo? Did you even think before sitting to write this piece? Anyway, now that it's out, nothing can be done, nevertheless, I can share my opinion on this which might help clear the air of confusion surrounding you. 

The truth is, every man is well within his rights to expect a virgin woman to be his life partner. The same is true the other way round - it's quite normal lady! And if someone doesn't feel that way, well that's an aberration then; such individuals must have had a troubled "upbringing" (as you said). When husband and wife with good cultural upbringing consummate their marriage, their attachment to each other increases, thereby, strengthening the bond between them. You may like to disagree with me on this, but no problem, we're not here to accept whatever you spew..

You said, "You want a beautiful and professional girl. Nothing wrong with that." What is your explanation if I asked, why in your opinion beauty and profession can be a consideration but not virginity? 

Also, your introduction of two kinds of people that have fixation on virginity, is nothing more than a figment of your imagination and purely your fabrication. It's a product of your clouded intelligence that's incapable of understanding the truth. Should I attribute such a state of yours to your own upbringing?

It's quite evident that your acerbic outbursts and petulance are a result of your strong belief in western culture and feminism. 

As for seeking virgins, frankly, I think that was not even a consideration 2 or 3 generations back, because our people were so grounded in our cultural beliefs. It's only now due to western influence that such things are happening with the new western born generation.Girls like you make western Tamil females look bad, no wonder why so many western Tamil males , chose to get arranged marriages in the native land..I feel sorry for the  pure western Tamil girls, because of people like you their reputation is tarnished.

Selva93
Selva93

This woman is a just a shrew needing to find something to write about. A Tamil guy probably rejected her and this is her fury at being rejected.

What about the kind women who straight out asked my cousin "how much money do you make?" Or the one who demanded that the house/flat should be put in her name before the marriage. (That was audacious.) And the one who said, "if we get married I want to get rid of the old furniture." She was referring to my aunt and uncle. 

A friend of mine from a very wealthy family in London has two young and handsome sons of marriageable age who have their own businesses. She is finding that it is very difficult to find good matches for her son because basically all these girls are greedy, materialistic and useless who can do nothing to take care of the sons whom she loves. Sure the girl might be a corporate lawyer, or head of an IT department but she has no idea of what it means to take care of a house, because these women have been their parents "little princesses" and can do zilch when it comes to real life. They don't know how to do anything in a home but expect the husband to provide 4 servants 3 cooks and a chauffeur so that she can go shopping all day with her friends. What do they have to offer to her sons? Nothing. If its s#x well that is already available gratis from girls like you. No need to marry for that, it can be leased.

In the past it used be heard by girl's parents "difficult to find a good boy for my daughter." Now the common thing heard is "difficult to find a good girl for my son."

And there are other reasons why a man would want a virgin that what you could "think" of. 

Selva93
Selva93

I asked my male friends why they would want a virgin? They replied that the wife would be more loyal to the husband and less likely to be a sl#t who sleeps around after marriage if she didn't before. And while feminist types will say that this is a double standard they don't see the whole picture. If a woman sleeps around after marriage and gets pregnant by another man, it is the husband who will have to support that child. And why should my cousin have to support someone else's child? That is why in the USA when a man divorces he has a DNA test done on his kids to find out if he is actually the father because 20% of the time they aren't. She was a "hot-wife" sl#t.

One of my female military friends in the USA told me that once she asked some male officers why they married the girls that they did? They all responded "because she would not sleep with me before marriage." To these men who go off to war loyalty matters an awful lot.

Maybe loyalty is not something important to you but to men who have to work hard and support their wives and children it does mean a lot.

And by their emotional nature a woman will always have attachment for her first lover and remember him even to her grave. So if husband is #1 it is a benefit for him.

As my cousin said to me he wanted a girl who is morally and spiritually pure in order that he could bring some elevated souls into this world as his children. In the past people used to care about the purity of their families. Now they care more about the pedigrees of their cats, dogs and horses than of their own children.

Anyway as soon as you said "I think" I realized that you didn't.

Because one thing that you forget is that men do have desires, and their desires count - to them. I for one support my cousin in his desire to find a pativrata, not a modern tr#shy girl that the author of this post revealed herself to be.

So guys be alert this Nivetha is one disloyal harpy you don't want to marry.


MoonTamil
MoonTamil

To op

I don't think traditional women care either way. A man's virginity isn't valued the same as women. The thing is that for some men it would destroy their pride to lose their virginity to a wh#re. So it's a personal choice for a man whether to lose his virginity or not to a wh#re or a non-virgin girl or to wait for a virgin girl. A girl must be a virgin if she wants to have great status and be in demand. An attractive virgin girl is at the top of the pyramid when it comes to demand, especially for marriage.


Selva93
Selva93

@MoonTamil

This one is not directed to the author but to all the girls who are having this misconception deeply embedded in their minds.

You got what you really wanted i.e Attention. While you and your parents have the right to choose a guy based on his educational qualifications,He didn't do anything wrong. Maybe the only reason why he asked you that was just that he was saving himself and his virginity for a girl who was doing the same for her future life partner. 

I know there's really no way to judge a guy's virginity but don't use that as a defense . Although this virginity thing doesn't matter to me but it shouldn't matter to you as well. Instead of writing up this "Open Letter", you could've just answered him there and then. 

This new trend of writing open letters is nothing but a way of seeking attention. Shruti Seth, Shenaz Treasurywala and many other not so popular people are using it as a publicity stunt. 

Selva93
Selva93

@MoonTamil  

Everyone has the freedom to choose their life-partner they desire. If one desires a Virgin, no one has to right to criticize them. For a happy and hormonious life one should also follow the same what they desire from their partner.


MoonTamil
MoonTamil

Even if I loved a girl, I couldn't her on her word alone without evidence. That level of trust requires a leap of faith and a purely emotional response. I wouldn't ever take a leap of faith or make a purely emotional response on anything as important as marriage. She most prove herself and then if she was honest and truthful, she would earn greater trust and greater love, and that would allow me to put more faith into her in the future. 

I said I wouldn't ever consider a girl for marriage unless I knew beyond a reasonable doubt that she was very likely a 100% virgin. No matter how much I loved her, liked her, and valued her companionship I could not compromise so I would let her go. There is no way she can redeem herself, prove herself to me, or convince me to accept her. No matter how much I liked her, she would be friend-zoned or let go because I cannot look at her everyday and be reminding I was second, third, tenth, or last. That would destroy me, there would be resentment, I would feel shame and dishonour, I wouldn't want to support her or give her my love, and ultimately everything would be destroyed. A girl that engaged in fornication would not be marriage material

I am not in a hurry to get married but I ain't marrying a non virgin. Yeah, I know, people will say but look at you- you are not a virgin yourself , but hey, I am the one who will be buying a house and supporting the kids. I don't want money from the woman, but at least for her to be a virgin. And if she is not, then she can go fly a kite.


Arigo
Arigo

Batticaloaking 8 days ago

@KarthikSekar

"If a guy/girl  sleeps around and then looks for a virgin girl/boy then he/she is a hypocrite. But we see hypocrites is all walks of like, so because a person is being hypocrite while choosing a partner dosent make them a bigger hypocrite or something."

There is no morality or any such thing in this world. You just try to get yours as much as you can. You can have it all...if you got the cash, the IQ, and the guts.. 

The fact of the matter is that they can. At least some of them can if they provide the incentives the women involved want. And if they can and if others consent, why the hell not? 

"If they want to marry a virgin so bad, maybe they should stay virgin themselves? Any of them thought about that? ?" 


That's up to the WOMAN who decides whether or not to marry him!! If she consents...  


THIS IS THE ANSWER!

MoonTamil
MoonTamil

@Arigo

Quality is defined as "the standard of something as measured against other things of a similar kind; the degree of excellence of something." 

All things being equal (beauty, attractiveness, talent, and nature), a girl that is a virgin is always a higher quality than a girl that isn't a virgin. 

Many men will accept a girl that isn't a virgin and that's their choice. Some girls that are not virgins are good people but it doesn't change the facts. A girl that isn't a virgin for her man isn't a "virtuous woman." 

When a man accepts a sl#t and marries a sl#t, and then the sl#t divorces him, takes any children, or takes his assets then the man has more of the blame in that situation. He decided to look the other way and think the girl's virginity and fornication didn't make a difference in her quality or her desirable. When a person decides to jump off a skyscraper thinking they can fly, the person shouldn't receive too much sympathy. The same goes for a man that accepts a sl#t and then the sl#t destroys him just like a succ#bus. Not too much sympathy. 


AnonTamilianx
AnonTamilianx

Guys chill , like may other people said get an arranged marriage!

You don't often see  Tamil  girls  in the country  slooting it up, hanging out in clubs, being a mess etc...Normally raised in a strict home with moral values. they are more spiritual. most of them smarter than your average insta/fb/twitter sheep sloot.Can just imagine a lot of them being good relationship material and they can make you dat hnng spicy food..

Gonna be my next wifey! Well  from Batticaloa to be precise but close enough! Sick of the Bullchit with western  women and their fuarked up drama. Also at my age the best I am gonna do in this society is a 28-40 year old milf sloot with about 3 kids. With a i bride from the actual country I can get a young hot looking VIRGIN honey between the ages of 18-21. .Sex whenever I want, clean house, cooked food, no being questioned about my whereabouts when I get home. The perfect deal. Only a fool would turn down something like that!

In fact right now I am having my grandfather and some other relatives find me a bride (SRS). We are DAMNED lucky to have  a Tamil background and have this option. I am going to utilize. All you  western haters are all talk. You would be doing it too if you had the choice!


Arigo
Arigo

@AnonTamilianx

Arranged because you have family stability and you have a virgin wife, who loves you, and won't cheat on you. Who knows a marriage is for life, and who has morals, values, innocence, beauty. 

Imagine a wife who is yours and yours only, who was never anyone else's 

(unlike the average western female who has 16 sexual partners before marriage) and 

imagine that she has morals, is loyal and faithful and even in her WORST nightmare wouldn't dream of cheating on you 

imagine that it's sooo deep that Tamils believe a marriage last 7 lifetimes, how deep is that?

This women will give you kids, how can you ever harm her? Imagine she treats you like a second god, because Tamils believe husband/wife is god/goddess.

Imagine she is ready to die for you/ and vice versa.

WHATS SO GOOD ABOUT BEING WITH A WESTERN WOMAN? I DONT SEE IT.

Now don't tell me "well we like our women with freedom" well 9-nine SO DO WE, but freedom doesn't mean being the 's' word that rhymes with hut. Thank you mother and father for being Tamil, so i was born Tamil. 


MoonTamil
MoonTamil

@AnonTamilianx I agree with you ,never marry a western Tamil women.Girls that are born here in the west , are not suitable for marriage,the girls in the country are much better in every single way.

It is statistically proven that non-virgin women at marriage are far more likely to cheat and have broken marriages than virgin women at marriage. It is a serious breach of trust and I prefer women who are loyal and faithful. She might even have s#xually transmitted diseases or is probably an AIDS carrier. It is disgusting and I do not want to be reminded of her previous lovers, that I might not be as good as them. Would any man have to put up with the thought of their wife possibly cheating on them? Premarital s#x results in higher divorce rates and great marriage instability. Mostly those who had a few partners before their husband have poor self-control and mental discipline and probably doesn't see anything wrong with infidelity. There are good decisions and there are bad decisions. If one makes a bad decision or a mistake they would have to suffer and learn from it. Otherwise, they would have learned nothing at all and continue to do whatever they want like animals. If you had a wife you wouldn't want her sleeping around with her ex-boyfriend or some other man she met off the street like some common wh#re. 


MoonTamil
MoonTamil

@Arigo 

Totally agree with you , I am 27, Im a marine engineer and have traveled almost around the globe and getting laid at every port to different women of different nationality. I have had tons of girlfriend, some of them I was the first and some of them not. I have a  16 years old ,beautifull wife.  now that I was her first I broke up easily with my gfs that im not the one who divirginized even if we are having great sex because I just cant take it that Im not the one who first Faakkk them. I know it sounds immature, but thats how we were raised and its just to hard to take it out of my system and neglect it because underneath my unconcious it is still there. Every single Tamil men deserves a virgin wife, you can have fun with the westernised one but do not marry them.

I think part of the reason why modern relationships are so unstable and dissatisfying is due to the fact that most modern women are essentially wh#res. Not too long ago I read in a book that men wanted their future wives to be virgins because they believed that they'd inherit unfaithfulness and other bad personality traits from men they've slept with. It's also the reason why rulers of a region or tribe had the right to spend the first night with newlywed brides. So that they'd inherit some "royal" traits or something like that. :D Now, I'm not sure if there's some truth to this belief but there has to be a reason why men prefer to be with women that are still virgins. 

I also think that the lack of compassion in modern society and the huge number of s#xual partners of young women makes them unable to see their partner as something special. When they divorce their husbands in their early 30s to rob him of most of his possessions they still think that men will be handed to them in a kind of inflationary manner. So, why bother with some loser that still hasn't been able to get a 900% raise after one year of marriage or whatever. Get a virgin bride from Sri Lanka.

Vithu
Vithu

I am 22 years old ,full virgin , full teetotal , and I do not judge guys who end up marrying virgin girls in the country.Why? Because most of Tamil females also have double standard, and privileges ,that we males don't have ... Honestly Tamil girls, throughout generations, Men earned more than women and supported families. Why not marry a lower educated, or lower status men now? Why are so many girls complaining about lack of quality men when they hit 30? Define quality. Like a dude, who plays baseball, earns 80,000 a year and also look like actor aarya? 

KarthikSekar
KarthikSekar

guys i saw some of the comments below, let me clear some misconceptions.  Of course our culture emphases on female purity and stuff, at the same time, though not mentioned our  culture dosent support guys to have multiple sex partners. Please dont make fun of our culture, its been one guy/one girl for ages.  Having multiple sex partners was only practiced by kings and certain highly influential ppl for status,lineage, sex etc. Common people never supported multiple partners for boy or girls.  Even the worst type of marriage according to Tamil culture "Madaleruthal", the guy still sticks to one partner before marriage and after marriage. Ohh and in our culture originally it was the boys who paid dowry to the girls fathers to win over the girls hand in marriage -  this was called "

Parisam Koduthu Manmudiththal". 
    One of the main reason we look for a cultured girls for marriage is cos she we be running the family next and also kids learn more from moms then us, hence we look for such girls to have a good family.  but this dosent mean the we can have a loose character and expect our wife and children to be proper model citizens. Children learn the bad characters from their parents first as its easier to learn. So how you run your life  (either boy/girl)  will reflect on ur family. 


Ajanthan50cent
Ajanthan50cent

@KarthikSekar 

Can men be checked in the same way for virginity? Or do their past actions have no effect on their morality, a tag attached only to women, their outspokeness, their freedom in attire and their sexual past. Because men and women are not made the same way. Men don't have hymen. Woman is less likely to have VDs or pregnancy if her hymen is intact. since it can be objectively verified virgin women are more desirable as wives.. Acording to Tamil scripts, it is the woman who has to be pure to be married. Tamils men can do anything before and after marriage. But the women should be pure and obedient. She should never raise her voice, never look at another man with lust and she should love and treat her Tamil husband like god.If Tamil guys can sleep around and get married to virgins girls , it is their right , and you have no say in what they can or cannot do, mind your own business.

TinaSinger
TinaSinger

@Ajanthan50cent @KarthikSekar  Like Gods you want to be treated? Yeah, I know, what Hindu scriptures say about this!


But then you should treat your wife like a GODESS as well, but it doesnt sound to me you are going to do this, as you imply: MEN CAN DO ANYTHING AFTER MARRIAGE! POW! Oh, really?


Are you living in some "La-la-land" or what? You are indeed deillusional about this! I saw an Indian household, where the woman has "the Pants on" and I saw many of such houses, so it might not be any different in some of the Sri Lankan ones! Wives raised very well their voices at their husbands, heard it with my own ears! Obey in all? So you are looking for a slave or what? LOL! Good luck!


And what in general do you mean with "after marriage" - it states you wanna cheat on your wife? SHAMELESS! Can you still look yourself into the mirror, dude? You write lines full of some crap! For the records: thats NOT what your Hindu scriptures teaches you either!

Vithu
Vithu

@TinaSinger 

Who are you to claim that all Hindus are the same .obviously you assume that all Hindus are Indians. I mean why are you even commenting on this article you are white not Tamil? This article was aim at a Tamil audience, not to western white females.

 Who are you to claim that all Hindus are the same?Ive come across many folks who have this idea and it always irks me 

what about the millions of Hindus in Sri lanka, Nepal, bangaladesh, malaysia, singapore and the rest of the world? 

Are they somehow non-Hindus in your book? 

The term "Hindu" is a persian term! they were not able to pronounce "indus" , for the people who lived east and south of the Indus river hence they called us "Hindus".for heavens sake! 

And also, Hinduism is a religion that does NOT have ANY central texts or dogma. a Hindu in nepal would have VERY different sacred texts and practices from one in Srilanka. yet they are both Hindus. 

so what will be the saxred textx be if u wanted to abolish ethnicities? the Vedas? The bagawat Gita? 

For ur info, for many saivite tamils The Vedhas are almost as unknown as the bible. the same is true vice versa. a north Indian would never know about the Tamil saivite Thervarams or Thiruvasakams. 

Each ethnic group hasits own texts and practices. we should be glad that we are the model of a universal religion, very different ethnicities having very different practices, being part of one religion.  As for Tamil from Sri Lanka do not generalize us  , our culture is very different than in India... But again I coudln't care less of what a white person thinks of us, your only aim is to diss Tamil people and their culture....Before saying non sense , get your facts right....


Vithu
Vithu

@Ajanthan50cent Right, this Tina is so funny , she can't read Tamil or understand Tamil scripts , but talks about ' what our culture is'..... She thinks that all Hindus are the same HAHAHAHAHA typical westerner... Our scripts clearly state that only the  female should stay virgin , not the male.Funny how those western feminists , want to rewrite our history just to suit their needs.

TinaSinger
TinaSinger

@KarthikSekar  Good to see common sense! :)

Yes, so it is: one Boy/Girl for a lifetime on both sides! But its hard to achieve...but you pointed it out right: you cant expect your wife then to become role models, when you, as a guy, have/had a loose character!

TinaSinger
TinaSinger

@Vithu Didnt say all Hindi are the same! I spoke of South-India, as my fiance is from there!

I know there are differences from Country to Country and I ve good Basics in Tamil! :)


Thats more than many of you "western Tamil females" in Canada can Claim :P just Sayin!

Ll be my last post, I ve better things to do anyways....but was a good view on your "Tamil male views", just wow!

Im didnt have many relationships...and certainly didnt "sleep around", but your Tamil macho views and how you treat women, JUST WOW! Im a "westerner", yeah, but I wouldnt want a guy, who "slept around", like a "bitch" for marriage! And I know many western Girls and women, who doesnt want it EITHER! Bye....

Vithu
Vithu

@TinaSinger The culture of Sri Lankan , Tamils is very different to the Indian one..... Again I couldn't care less of what white people thinks of our people, but I find it inadmissible that you say that 'all Tamils follow Indian culture' ....Just because you are dating an Indian person , it does not give you the right to diss Sri Lankan Tamil culture...And yes you just said ' that all Tamils follow Hindu scripts' ,you have clearly no idea of what are Tamil scripts.... Just mind your own business, and stick to White culture. And stop being arrogant , most of Tamil from Canada are pretty fluent in Tamil.

TinaSinger
TinaSinger

@Vithu HAHAHA! All of a sudden, a white western woman dares to came along to this Forum and all of your good Tamil fellow-men turn out to be "a virgin" - hahaha! MAY I LAUGH OUT LOUD? Go read what 99% of your Tamil fellow-men wrote about "sleeping around", their future-wives have to obey, even as sex-slave they described them! HYPOCRACY as its best! And I couldnt care less, how you will treat your future-wife, I only feel sorry for her!


And before wasnt it like: western Tamil Girls cant even say a word in Tamil? Interesting ....

However, you are NOT honest and give the same rights of freedom, which you expect of yourself, to the western Tamil, or Tamil Girls in General!!! Stop being hypocrite! Nobody says go and sleep around to a woman, but to a male, neither! Every man/woman in their right senses wouldnt do that anyway, no matter, who they are!

And Im not datin, we are engaged!

Vithu
Vithu

@TinaSinger Lol are you  judging an entire community off  few trolls  who posted on TCr?HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAH

What can I say? Typical white people. I have seen some of your replies, and I can say that you are not mature enough to debate with, I mean what kind of girls even use 'insults' when debating....  Swearing and calling people names only diminishes your argument. Though that's not a problem when you don't have a valid argument to begin with!

KarthikSekar
KarthikSekar

@Ajanthan50cent @KarthikSekar also i dont understand ur logic. Are you talking for all the guys following tamil culture or only for urself ?? Cos as you say if boys are allowed to sleep around , that means they are sleeping around with other girls right ??and since the sex ratio is always tilted towards boys i.e more boys than girls that means the girls that you have slept with , are gonna become someone else's  wife in the future. So by your logic you dont care about other guys following you culture but care only about yourself and how much action you are getting??
   and also dude sleeping around after marriage is one of the worst time the head of a family could put his family through.  

TinaSinger
TinaSinger

@Vithu HAHAHAHA yourself! TROLLS? All of sudden? 99% of the comments here were full of "non-virgin" Tamil guys, who were satisfied with sleeping around and would marry an innocent Girl "from the Country", who OBEYS (WE DONT VE SLAVERY ANYMORE DID U KNO?) their prospective husbands...as I said, I have better things to do...than to argue with hypocrites!

Vithu
Vithu

@KarthikSekar I am a virgin Tami male, and I couldn't care less if the guys here sleep around? Why? Because I am only going to marry a virgin girl from Sri  Lanka. The girls brought up here in the west  , do not make good mothers.As for the ratio ,I am just going to copy and past Josh reply.

From Josh Tamil:I don't understand why all Tamil girls just presume that in these day all the Tamil boys are not virgin , I think its just lame excuse and self defense attitude.. but in fact what I know that around 70%  of my Tamil boys are virgin .. where about western Tamil girls not sure but I can assume they must below 10% , that's for sure... because what I can see now days .. a guy who gets girlfriend he keep on getting .. and that kind of guys make around 3-11 girlfriends till 30 or marriage.. I have live examples,, and other guys just just don't get in their bachelor life ... believe me its fact.. and they easily don't admit it because they feel embarrassed about it.. so boys want virgin girl its not coming from old mentality but due to this shuttle fact..

Vithu
Vithu

@TinaSinger Who is 'we' your not even Tamil. I'm not an hypocrite, I am a virgin Tamil male.The girls in the country are like the girls here, all they want is money and a guy with experience, while guys even the ones that slept around prefer  a young , beautiful virgin girl, who knows her place .Slaves aren't usually given a choice. Those girls are given a choice, most of males prefer them because they know their place as a women.They can cook/make good mothers, and please their husband when they want, and there is nothing that you western white  feminist can do about that! Even your own men , are leaving you for foreign girls, because everyone knows that western women , do not make good mothers, they are only good at complaining and nothing else.

Arigo
Arigo

@TinaSinger 

White people don't even share bank card info with their spouse, and the women do black men while their husbands are earning for them.Now please read this, it's deep and true, eat a brownie (you know which brownie im talking about) and pay attention:

This is my conclusion: White women marry for survival of self, not children or other's. They just laugh and act all like they are in love with a man, because he has a job and she won;t have to work and can live for free.

I mean it's sad. 


White men cant even give your bank pin to your wife because when your national divorce rate of 60% brings it's luck onto you, she will take half your belongings. You have to cook the food because if Mrs. White  gets angry, uh oh.

Arigo
Arigo

@KarthikSekar

man oh man is life good or WHAT?

I feel sorry for  Western men, seriously, if they  dont find someone, no wife, no baby. sure, im a turdskin, least i'll bring a life into this world and have a best friend, soulmate, goddess who i can worship, who will fulfill my life. I LOVE LIFE.

Thank you mother and father for being Tamil, so i was born Tamil. 


KarthikSekar
KarthikSekar

@Arigo @KarthikSekar am an Tamil guy not a western guy. Also I did my post graduation in TUM- so have a bunch of German frnds. Well most of them were like me, they don talk  to girls much, were really hard working and most of them also din have girl friends. Am not sure about the girls as I don talk to them much but the guys I moved with, most of them were like us. 

TinaSinger
TinaSinger

@Vithu You are an idiot to believe that! Do you even still read WHAT YOUR SCRIPTURES SAY? Where there is it ever stated, that, oh: ONLY FEMALES SHOULD STAY VIRGINS UH? Not true! These values goes for BOTH SEXES! So dont be so hypocrite stating your scriptures when you dont even know what s written there! It CERTAINLY doesnt state, that males should sleep around being sexual immoral before marriage! You dont have a clue! And I wonder why all these guys now all of a sudden come "out of the closet", LOL preaching now they are so innocent and most of them are "virgins" - can only laugh at you!

TinaSinger
TinaSinger

@Arigo You dont ve to feel sorry for them as these Kind of Western guys no western woman with morals want to marry, either! As these western guys are the same as you Tamil male bitches with sleeping around upto 30 or more til marriage! Who wants to marry a male prostitute?

Such western guys just Play with a woman and if she gets pregnant, they leave, not taking any Kind of responsibility! Thats the sad truth! And why then he can have no Baby? A western guy just marries, when he is in love and sure gets babies with his wife! Why western guys shouldnt find easily a wife? Ridiculous! The difference to you is they marry out of love thats the only reason for marriage in western world, dude!


And such a couple respects each other and live happily and dont question about the past! But I would never marry a guy, who has a bad Reputation in my Location! Such a guy sure would be only cheating! If a western guy wants to marry, he just finds a woman and does it! But sad truth is also, that many of them cheat and we western women, finding it out DIVORCE such guys then and are not forced to stay in an unhappy marriage!

Selva93
Selva93

@TinaSinger 

Sorry to say mate, but your dilative moral sermon is simply worth nothing. It sounded bombastic and ornate, but is really without any substance at all. I must admit though that what you said about Indian men, is "partially" true, based as it was on a myopic observation. The thing is, you're brought up in Western culture and so quite obviously you'll stand by its practices and beliefs. However, you're an outsider after all! And clearly, you don't understand the intricacies of Tamil culture which is why your post is rife with speculations.

Having said that, we all can see where the West is heading for (esp. the youth) owing to its "glorious" culture. As for your intimidating-yet-silly "caveat," seriously, you will have to take birth in Sri Lanka to begin the process of your disillusionment.


Selva93
Selva93

@TinaSinger 

Tina... your contribution although well constructed fails abysmally in what 'Tamil culture' is all about... you are a person who from the outside is trying to be critical of Tamil culture...just because you have been exposed to a Tamil male and Sri Lanka for 6 months !! You have no concept ..non what so ever about Tamil culture, yet you have biased your views based on western values !! Yes it is a shame that these days Tamil guys have been adventurous to marry westerners, good for them.. but that hardly gives or makes you an authority on the Tamil social system (all you see and hear is the adverse publicity) You have failed totally, otherwise you would have also made a very relevant point that out of every 3 western marriages , 2 are dead ducks before the 7 year itch comes along and yet Tamil marriages , even with all the faults ..as you put it....did last forever...until western influence from half baked cookies like yourself put their two bits in !! You have only to look south to the Americans ..or for that matter the English..or French ..or numerous other western countries where we still observe class, financial status and cultural status in most relationship above the peasant class who I might add are mostly looking to 'up' their status by marrying , if the can, above their social standing 

With all due respect ..don't try and be critical of another culture... look within your own...first.. and then let out a balanced opinion.. if you are capable of it !!

Selva93
Selva93

@TinaSinger @KarthikSekar  So guys are not to have any expectations at all ?, It is all right for you and your parents to find out how well settled the groom is and what he is worth academically also from a material point of view . There is nothing right or wrong about pre martial s#x it is a matter of choice ... a cousin of mine rejected the boy because he was a social drinker and she wanted only a virgin as her future husband ... there wasn't going to be a test on either side its a question of honesty .Its better to know before hand about anything which matters to one of the potential partners .. it could be height , looks education eating habits then why not if the past matters to one partner it should be respected nothing to be ridiculed about ... its simple matter you could have said you dont wish to discuss your past if it is not acceptable to him good luck to him , you both should be happy you havent gotten into a relationship which could have ended in a disaster !! Just to add a friend mine wants full blood tests done before engagement and he is not sure how to go about it without offending , I'm sure many females would feel offended if asked to do that as well !!

Selva93
Selva93

@Arigo 

In a feminist world men aren't allowed to have desires, they are only to fulfil the woman's desires, be her walking ATM.

DeutchThamizhan
DeutchThamizhan

@KarthikSekar  Maybe a girl's virginity doesn't matter to you but it matters to many men including me. You don't have a problem with a non-virgin girl that doesn't mean that all the boys on the planet will accept the non-virgin girls as their wives. 

Batticaloaking
Batticaloaking

Most  Tamil men hate sl#ts/promiscuous woman This is not limited to a race. It has been going through ages, men are required to sleep around while women are required to preserve their virginity's for them. You can call it a DS, doesn't matter how much the world advances, this won't go away  because that's how we males are made.

KarthikSekar
KarthikSekar

people are entitled to their own opinions.  As the author said if a girl wants to sleep around that's her decision. Similarly if  a boy dosent want to her cos of it , its his decision. As no one has the right to tell any girl or boy not to sleep around before marriage, I believe the author as no authority telling others how they should choose their marriage partners.  If a guy/girl  sleeps around and then looks for a virgin girl/boy then he/she is a hypocrite. But we see hypocrites is all walks of like, so because a person is being hypocrite while choosing a partner dosent make them a bigger hypocrite or something.

Batticaloaking
Batticaloaking

@KarthikSekar   

"If a guy/girl  sleeps around and then looks for a virgin girl/boy then he/she is a hypocrite. But we see hypocrites is all walks of like, so because a person is being hypocrite while choosing a partner dosent make them a bigger hypocrite or something."

There is no morality or any such thing in this world. You just try to get yours as much as you can. You can have it all...if you got the cash, the IQ, and the guts.. 

The fact of the matter is that they can. At least some of them can if they provide the incentives the women involved want. And if they can and if others consent, why the hell not? 

"If they want to marry a virgin so bad, maybe they should stay virgin themselves? Any of them thought about that? ?" 

That's up to the WOMAN who decides whether or not to marry him!! If she consents...  



MoonTamil
MoonTamil

@KarthikSekar

Marrying a woman that has no or little experience is better than being with a woman who has too much experience. But the problem is that with westernisation spreading and m#ngers going overseas that you find less and less virgins..this makes it harder for the legit guy that actually wants real serious relationship. That's why I have issues with the westernisation in the world. If your in the western world or close to it . It's better to find a decent girl that has little experience and I think that's why older guys goes after the younger girls..but it's harder to do that in the west compared to other places. Luckily we Tamils can still get young virgin brides  around the age of 16-20, in the country, bless beautiful Tamil culture!

MoonTamil
MoonTamil

@KarthikSekar

Im a guy so its okay.. its different when it comes to women here. again, its okay for me to marry a nonvirgin as long as im her first before hand..

Premarital sex does corrupt women. A woman needs to me married to have sex.

Rape gives a lot of emotional baggage to women. 

Many women that engaged in fornication don't like men that are virgins. Many of those girls also make fun of girls that are virgins (because they know that the girl will be able to get better guys if she is both attractive and a virgin). Many of the players and bad boys want to take a girl's virginity. The reason for that is because the players and bad boys want to have that experience with many girls as possible, leaving other men with seconds or wicked women (the opposite of the virtuous women). The government makes brothels illegal to try to ruin all women, leaving the good men with no good women. The wicked women don't like virgin men because they are spoiled and have been corrupted.Western society might try to say that virginity doesn't matter and that losing your virginity is fun and popular but it's not. Girls that engage in fornication are not marriage material and do not deserve a relationship with a good man. 


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