I recently watched the clip below from a debate show called Neeya Naanaa on the popular Indian Tamil network VijayTV where a guest , a female doctor, said ( in a nutshell) that women are responsible for putting themselves in a position of rape through their style of dressing.

View video here. She had this ‘revelation’ when her secretary, a transgendered female, who 'dresses provocatively', received significantly more attention than her, being a biological female. In other words, women have to do their part in not ‘enticing’ a man to rape. From the clothes to make up to hair, she implies that women are responsible for getting themselves raped.   Feminity in her words, is defined by fertility and sexuality, is a form of weakness, not power.

With the rise of recently reported rape incidences in India, there is a plethora of explanations and justifications as to why there is a sharp rise in sexual violence against women and girls. Politicians have sought to blame western influence such as short skirts and tights, to the growth of fast food chains, which increases hormone levels thus causing men to rape, as explanations. However what they fail to realize is that sexual violence against women is not a new phenomenon. It has taken place for decades and the only reason there is a rise of awareness is due to women  and men actually finding the courage to speak out.

It has to be understood that what a woman wears or how ‘sexy’ she is, doesn’t cause rape. Saudi Arabia, for instance, is one of the most conservative countries in the world where there is no separation between church and State and where State law is heavily influenced by Islamic teachings. It is illegal for a woman to show her skin and walk out of the house without the company of a male relative. Despite this, Saudi Arabia has one of the highest incidences of sexual violence against women.

For awareness to really transition into change, it has to be clearly understood why rape occurs. Constantly putting the onus and blame on women to protect themselves and be aware of their behaviour, while dismissing the actions of the perpetrator as ‘boys will be boys’ will only add fuel to an already dire situation.

It is not a woman’s job to protect herself against rape. It is the man’s job to not rape. When we take away responsibility from the perpetrator, we create a society where victim blaming becomes the norm and an acceptable form of justification. Hence the punishment is placed on the head of the already traumatized woman/ girl as opposed to the wrongdoer.

It has to be understood, by those who rape, they are weak. They have a weakness within themselves that instills this need to exert dominance and control onto another group who they view as less than themselves. It has nothing to do with the brightness of a woman’s lipstick, or how tight or short her clothes are. So let’s do our society a favour, and stop coddling the penises. And definitely stop blaming the victims.