Why do Tamils want to identify with a state that celebrated the end of the civil war ignoring the slaughtering of thousands of innocent Tamil civilians?

We had all just celebrated the new year, 2018. I was in town and wanted to make sure I had time to meet up with some close friends. A conversation with my girlfriends eventually lead to the topic of marriage. One friend’s mom had pressed the issue of <i>jaati</i> (caste) when looking for potential spouses for her. The other friend claimed one must always look at the caste of a future spouse before agreeing to marriage.