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A Guide to Attaining Positivity when Dealing with Obstacles
The Three-Step Method to Overcoming Negative Experiences and Emotions.
Shabitha Nalla
Underwriting Assistant
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"Positivity – is the key to a happy and healthy life."

We all have those days where we wake up and we feel like staying in bed, doing absolutely nothing. Sometimes it’s because of an event or incident that occurred the previous day that you simply cannot forget or it may be due to something that you experienced weeks, months or years ago that are playing with your emotions. Human life exists of several obstacles and unexpected experiences that can sometimes put us in a dark place in which we feel pessimistic about life. Even though we may have everything in life, whether its a good education, a job, a loving family and good health, we humans always find something that is missing in life and spend our time thinking about this ‘missing piece’ in our life. We invest so much of our time thinking about what we don’t have hence, creating this negativity around us. This is what often leads to what we call a “bad” day. 

On these days where you are feeling down, you may ask yourself “how do I overcome the negativity that these obstacles and bad experiences in my life have given me”?

The answer is BRS. In other words, first you must breathe and calm down. Second, you must reflect on the experience and third, you must share your feelings with someone you deeply trust and can depend on.


Step 1:


One day you wake up and life throws you problem or puts you in a bad situation and it was not something that you expected was coming for you. It is making you feel upset, frustrated, and angry. The first step to overcoming this negative energy is to breathe. Yes, it may sound really simple. But for those going through hardships and obstacles, sometimes we forget to take deep breathes in and out. We feel all anxious and start to panic. So, when put into a situation with an unfavorable outcome, take a pause. Then take deep breathes in and out and calm your mind, body and soul. Listen to a song, the sound of rain or ocean waves and just relax. Forget everything around you for just a couple of minutes. Close your eyes. Tell yourself “everything will be okay”. Inhale and Exhale. Inhale and Exhale. And continue doing this until you attain a sense of calmness. Something as simple as taking time to breathe can orient you towards attaining positive energy.

Step 2:


Yes, this unfortunate situation or experience has happened in which you feel doubtful towards your life and you begin to question why this had to happen to you. Put that question aside for a moment. Ask yourself “what have I learned from this experience”? e often only look at the negative side of a bad experience and fail to understand why this experience or event had to happen the way it did. For example, did you have a bad breakup with someone who you claimed to love? Well, stop for a second and ask, what you learned from it. May it possibly have taught you that you need to be smarter about your decisions on who you choose or that you deserve someone who truly loves you and will put in all the effort to be with you? In the moment, when we are faced with something negative, all we question is why it had to happen. We put ourselves down, we let our negativity take over us. This puts us in a bad place. Stop doing this. The key to getting over our obstacles and negative experiences is to reflect on the situation and think of the positive side. How did it make you a better person? Did it make you a stronger person? Has it opened your eyes as to what you really want in life? Reflection is important. It will remove all the negativity around you and help you attain positive energy by looking at things as a bigger picture for your future.

Step 3:


Sometimes, even if we do take time to relax and calm ourselves or we do reflect on these negative experiences, the only thing that can make us feel better is sharing our emotions and feelings with someone whom we deeply trust and love. Whether it’s your mother, father, sister, brother, friend, or whomever, do not bottle up your emotions inside of you. Talk to someone about how you are feeling or what happened. It will make you feel much lighter and as if you lifted a huge burden off your head. Sometimes, all we need to do is vent it out to someone who we know has always been there for us. So go ahead, and do it. When you know that you have the support of your family and friends to get you through whatever you are dealing with, that is the best solution to overcoming any obstacle. Sharing your feelings with someone and receiving support or guidance from them can lead you in a positive direction. Therefore, make sure that you surround yourself with people who send you positivity.

“No matter what obstacle life throws you, and no matter how negative the experience may be, remember one thing, it is going to make you a stronger and wiser person. I want you to remember that you have to go through these obstacles now, in order to be prepared to have a beautiful future. “ – Shabitha Nallathamby

Created By
Shabitha Nalla
Underwriting Assistant
Recent Graduate of University of Toronto looking to inspire others and guide them.
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