Dear Straight Up! I Met Someone Online but Don’t Want to Give Him My Number

Woman receiving roses online

Dear Straight Up!

I met a guy online and he keeps asking for my number or BBM. I am still not comfortable enough to give it to him yet. What can I say or do to not give it to him but at the same time not make it awkward?


Don’t know what to do

Dear Don’t know what to do,

If you’re not comfortable giving him your personal contact info then don’t. Don’t allow yourself to be pressured into doing anything that you are not ready to do. Online dating can be dangerous. And unless you are absolutely sure about the person you are talking to, you are not obligated to give him your number.

Be straightforward when telling him this. Simply say that you’re not comfortable giving him your number and/or BBM and that you would feel more comfortable getting to know him a bit better first before taking that next step. If he’s sensible then he should have no problem with your request. If he isn’t then it’s better for you to just walk away and cut your losses because this could be a red flag later on when you actually do get together.

Having said that, don’t take over 3 months to give your number to a guy. If you have been communicating consistently back and forth then you should have a good sense about him. And if you drag on the communication process without taking the next step then you’re just wasting his time as well as yours.

* * * * *

Dear Straight Up!

There’s a guy who I find interesting and I see him here and there and we message each other here and there. How do I continue this or let him know that I’m interested in him?



Dear Uncertain,

Flirt flirt flirt. If you want to let a guy know that you’re interested then flirt with him. Being confident with yourself is the key to getting that message across. Smile and be engaging. If he says something funny then laugh and touch his arm or shoulder. Keep your eyes on him and don’t start looking around. Men love to have their egos stroked so compliment him. Make him feel like he’s the man.

Let your body language do most of the talking for you. But most importantly don’t be the one to constantly initiate contact. If he is interested, then let him also make the effort. If you’re not getting much from his side then don’t waste your time and just move on. There will be plenty of other men who will reciprocate.

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Check out our previous Straight Up! advice columns:
Dear Straight Up! I Met Someone Online but Don’t Want to Give Him My Number
Dear Straight Up! I’m Liberal, He’s Conservative: Will It Work Out?
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Tasha Nathan

Tasha Nathan

Tasha is a Toronto based freelance writer and author. After publishing her first children’s book, No Monster in the Closet, she found her interest grow to empower youth and young adults. Her first young adult book, Follow Your Heart, was published last year. Her focus lies more within women's empowerment and gender equity, particularly within the Tamil Community.

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4 thoughts on “Dear Straight Up! I Met Someone Online but Don’t Want to Give Him My Number

  1. I am one question ladies. Doctor can give patient’s advice because of medical experience. Engineer can advise architect with job experience. What experience does a single girl has to give advice to another single girl? You mean all I need is a B.A mickey mouse degree and some basket weaving diploma and I am the next hitch?

  2. chinnraasu kitchenaire
    Very well thank you 🙂 [answering ur 2nd question]

    And do you have a problem with two consenting adults having sex? I don’t 🙂

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