Okay, so date one went really well. But c’mon, the extra buttery pop-corn and the fact that both of you are huge X-Men fans really set the stage for that one. Date two was a little more intense. The walk along the boardwalk was a lot windier than expected, but you saved the day with some Baskin Robbins just as the sun came out. So here you are now, date three. It’s just the two of you, a crowd of nameless faces in the background and all you can eat tandoori chicken – the perfect ‘getting to know each other’ kind of date. The conversation is going well, you both make really good eye contact and just as that voice inside of your head starts to tell you that this one might actually be going somewhere good, it comes out: the deal-breaker!!
We all have them, little quirks or bigger deciding factors about the other person that drive us crazy to the point that we will overlook that they are the kind of boy you can actually bring home, the sort of girl your mother will love and even that three generations ago, your families lived in neighboring villages and your birth charts align in all the right places. Okay, I might be going a little over board, but you know what I mean. So, what are some popular deal breakers and are there particular qualities that we just won’t tolerate? Using sophisticated scientific methodology (I sent out some text messages, contacted a few people on Facebook and made some calls), I set out to find what other young people are just not willing to put up with in the quest for that special someone. Here are my findings:
10. East Coast – West Coast
They live too far away. Toronto is a big city and sometimes you just don’t want to spend an hour or more in transit to see your honey. Not to mention the rising gas prices . . .
9. Spiritually Unavailable
Okay, so she doesn’t go to church every Sunday and he hasn’t been to the temple since he was twelve – you might let this slide. But having no spiritual or moral connection might not gel with your inner spiritualist.
We all like to save a few dollars and toonie-Tuesdays were a great date idea when you were still in school. But counting quarters and pinching pennies will not get you very far in today’s dating game.
7. Wedding bells are ringing . . . on date three?
Fast and furious might work for you in the bedroom, but when it comes to building a relationship this formula could lead to disaster. It’s good to know what you want, but leaping head first into a serious relationship is a sure fire way to scare off your love interest.
6. Afraid of intimacy
The course of true love never did run smooth. Most of us carry around baggage from past relationships and this can make it difficult to open up again. But remember, the inability to show that you are ready and willing to engage in an honest and intimate relationship can be a turn off to your new mate.
5. Liar liar pants on fire
This one seems simple enough – if you lie, people won’t want to date you.
4. Can’t hear you
Now, chances are that you will never remember every detail that comes out of your date’s mouth. But if you can’t pay attention and relate to what they are sharing with you, you are not going to last very long. Bad listener = very alone.
3. Lather, rinse, repeat as needed
This one should be a no-brainer. If you are dirty and don’t take care to have good hygiene, you probably won’t even make it past the first date. Top bad-hygiene deal breakers include bad breath, dirty fingernails and funky smelling cars.
2. Huge ego
It’s great to feel good about yourself and a positive self-image is a very attractive quality, but the line between self-confidant and just plain egotistical is actually not that fine. If you think you are such a catch, you will probably end up having to date yourself.
1. Because you’re racist, sexist and homophobic
Personal values and an overall understanding of how the world works is no longer just a fluffy dream quality – it’s essential for making the right connection. The number one reason you will be dumped after date three: your politics are outdated and people you should be dating died in the last Ice Age.
- Vijay S.