I am a French Woman in Love with a Tamil Man

frenchinterracial

I fell in love with a Tamil man.

It all started in 2012. We were university students focusing on our education and far from looking for a relationship. Everything was different about us – culture, language, colour, behaviour, goals. From our first encounter he anticipated the likeliness of his parents preferring to find him a Tamil wife – traditional, patient, beautiful and leading to a virtual 0% divorce rate.

But life is full of surprises.

From the day we met we never stopped being astonished by each other. Our differences became our strength. We got to know each other from the eyes of kids discovering the world. Everything was new, and we built up enough trust to be open-minded to ideas that most people would find too baffling to accept. It resulted in a strong sense of trust, love and support. We have been together for three years and we are now in a long-distance relationship.

My partner introduced me to Tamil culture. Even from an outsider’s point of view, it is hard not to appreciate the richness of Tamil culture. Everything within it highlights its long history and sophisticated tastes: dances, songs, musical instruments, temples, ceremonies, language and traditions.

We are not married or engaged yet, so it did not seem legitimate to expose ourselves to the Tamil community. Regardless, his mom made it clear that our relationship should not continue due to contentious criticism from the Tamil community.

And despite our love for each other, do we have to confront the dreadful ultimatum often addressed to mixed race couples, such as: “If you marry that girl, you don’t belong to the family anymore.” “The rest of the family won’t invite you or talk to you anymore.” “What will people think?” “You might have to run away to another country if you want to live together.”

What lies at the core of this opposition? Is it the fear of losing one of the oldest cultures in the world if not properly passed on to our children? Is it the fear of being considered colonized to the eyes of the community? Is it the remnants of ethnic conflicts in which intra-community unity is associated with strength? Is it that the Sri Lankan Tamil diaspora has not integrated well enough to accept interracial couples among its 35 million Canadian compatriots?

Any one of these reasons may seem fair enough to not want your only son to date an outsider. But are they good enough to exclude your only son from the community and cast shame upon him? Does anyone deserve to make a choice between family and wife?

Can’t two cultures be added – Canadian and Tamil?

I do believe that marrying someone of a different background does not mean giving up who you are. It can be a complete addition of cultures, a win-win situation where both cultures are added and transferred to ones children. Of course, this implies that both two partners want it, which is often not their priority. My partner is very close to his culture and he wants to give his kids the best cultural and academic education. I totally support this idea.

I also understand the concerns of the Tamil community and the desire to preserve the rich and sophisticated Tamil culture. If this interracial relationship has support, I would aim to make sure that my kids learn Tamil, perform classical arts and actively take part in all traditional aspects of Tamil life.

To this day, I still don’t know how the Tamil community would accept this. It seems to me that among many, interracial marriages are considered de facto failures. Does it have to be that way?

Is the younger generation more tolerant towards interracial relationships? Why is it so hard to find media coverage of successful mixed Tamil couples? Isn’t it a source of pride to the Tamil community for outsiders to embrace Tamil culture such as the video of a German lady speaking perfect Tamil?

Tamils in Canada are exposed to many other ethnicities on a daily basis. This leads me to believe that interracial marriages will become more prevalent over the next generation. And I wonder if all Tamils in interracial relationships will have to go through shame with their partners, or if the community will one day shed a new light on these relationships and portray them as highly successful too.

I know that I am an outsider posting on a Tamil website which is unusual. I have no intention to offend anyone and I am not questioning the benefits of intra-Tamil relationships. My only wish is to provide a perspective on the Tamil community’s willingness to embrace interracial relationships from the view of an outsider.

* * * * *

Looking to create your love story? Join the other couples who have dated and married through myTamilDate.com!

Related articles:
Norway Meets Switzerland In This Tamil Love Story
Falling in Love with a Guy Who Doesn’t Have a Visa
6 Places to Meet Tamil Singles
Love is Colourblind… But Not to Some
Why I Believe Tamils Should Marry Tamils

Support TC

Author

Chloé

Chloé

I am a 24-year-old French girl in my last year of PhD in Sciences. I had the chance to travel the world during my studies and live in Europe, Northern America, and Oceania (Australia continent). I try to live life to the fullest, without forgetting the lessons I have learned from it.

Read More Stores From Chloé...
Connect

165 thoughts on “I am a French Woman in Love with a Tamil Man

  1. i was married not to a Tamil man but to an Indian man and of that I do have the most beautiful daughter in the world.  I do remember once at a wedding, sitting  on a sofa with all my brown sister in laws, and someone from the other side came up and greeted them, greeted them all except me.  Im not sure it was a purposeful slight or they just didnt know that I was one of the family.  You will never belong and you will always be different. For some people thats ok. My real estate agent is Tamil and his wife is Filipino, their kids go to temple and church, hes a veg, she is not, the kids to traditional things like dance and drum, but are very western in their outlook. Its a great blend of two cultures.  Having said that, I can say that Tamil men (and women) are very attractive and my heart belongs to a Tamil man, the heart wants what it wants.

  2. Your article did not offend anyone. My question to your white counterparts.

    Why is it that so many of you move out of communities where there are people of color. Take scarborough, Brampton. Used to be fully white in 80s and 70s. Its almost 70% brown.Why is there white flight even in 21st century?The ethnic enclaves are filled with lower class whites not middle or upper class interms of social/economic status. Why do you move out? Are we really that low for you?
    I somehow have distrust when it comes to what a white person truly believes. You’d say one thing but behave in another fashion.

    Now lets take a look at culture of dating. There is this social hierachy of beauty in western media. White- East Asian-Spanish-South Asian-Black. South Asian male is either a geek or a nerd. Unfortunately, this plays a huge role in real life dating where South Asian men are never taken seriously unless they reach a certain social status. Technically in this 21st century, a tamil male cook in scarborough and a low class white girl should atleast have dated each other. You don’t see that here. Thats what I call a world where people don’t care about race. 
    And lastly lets face it. Most colored communities see dating a white person as a sign of status. Its basically to do with self esteem. No wonder interracial marriages fail in long term. You have to love yourself before you love other. Its not getting out of your ethnicity.
    Some thoughts.

  3. Tamils self isolate themselves with fear of being isolated even prior to getting married when they are put in this situation of mixed marriages( differences in race, caste, gender even religion ) to some the differences between two families means divorce ? Not sure if i agree with this but I realize you can’t really win with tamil parents, either you match the checklist the parents have in the ideal counterpart or u run away.
    Even if you marry a thamil person you still can be isolated by your family if your from a diff caste, religion, gender because it’s fear from the family being isolated from the tamil community.

  4. I think tamil parents are great, I am so proud that I have been brought up by tamil parents. Yes, they are very critical in what they say and they have some sort of agenda already planned out for you as to how your life should be, but with that being said, they plan ahead for you because they want everything in your life to be the absolute best. I think the problem lies within a generation gap, our parents or elders have left Sri Lanka in a time was dating a man who you may or may not marry for the sake of knowing them better was looked at as such a tabu. In a way, I understand our parents feeling like they should be isolated from the rest of the family in fear of how they might judge them, but it’s really up to the children of our generation to take time and explain to our parents and try and build some sort of mutual understanding towards the issue of interracial dating.

  5. I agree with you at the same time I don’t, it’s easy to explain to your own family but the fear they have about how each families will view and treat each other still remains an issue, this fear causes our youth to make choices such as runnin away and suicide. Not sure if any of those are a good option rather then having parents over come fear.

  6. I am a Tamil man, and I have been with my wife, who is white American for 20 years, 12 of those years as a married couple. We have two wonderful children. My eldest 6-year daughter put it well, when she said that her “amma is also tamil, because she is a part of this family”. Most of my family agree with her. The Tamil diaspora is very different in different places – I came from Malaysia where the Tamil diaspora is actually socially liberal in these matters. My father would scold anyone in the family who objected to inter-racial marriages by retorting “Well, what do you want to do – jump in front of the train?”  In my extended family we now count folks from the U.S, Ireland, Nigeria, Somalia, England, Iran, Australia as family. But family in London and Toronto are not so liberal and the communities far more fearful of these changes. It may also have to do with the traumas of colonialism, war and racism faced upon immigration. Tamils in Malaysia face discrimination but our experience was not as bad as those who went through the war directly. There is much to say (20 years of experience!) but here is one simple perspective – a culture is not frozen in time, it is not only about classical dance and language and co-ethnic marriages. We create culture, and everyone who wants to be a part of a culture will help to create that culture in its next version. I wish you both well and welcome to the Tamil family.

  7. My belief on this particular issue is not based on any fundamental objection to intermarriage between people who are of different races; I am primarily concerned about the well-being of any potential children resulting from interracial unions. Typically, the major ethnic groups in this nation do not get along well, and many parents discourage their children from bringing home an individual of another race. Familial opposition to interracial pairings often means that many mixed race children never get the opportunity to know their grandparents/extended family, and this can lead to a profound sense of alienation. Biracial children must also contend with prejudice/discrimination from people who stand at all ends of the racial divide; I remember knowing a half black/half white girl in high school who was throughly mistreated by black students and rejected by most of the white students. Due to the insurmountable social pressures faced by many mixed race kids, they often seem to suffer from deep psychological issues and often fail to find a place in any community. I wish that we lived in a world that was capable of treating all individuals equally, but unfortunately, this is not the case.

  8. Playing devil’s advocate here…
    Statistics reveal there are about 3x as many White Male-East Asian Female marriages as there are White Female-East Asian Male. If love is truly colourblind, why is it so skewed in one direction?
    A lot of East Asian guys complain that Western media portrayals of Asian males as nerdy/effeminate make it hard for them to compete in the dating scene. Worse, many Canadian and American-born Asian girls openly refuse to date their own men in favour of white guys. Why is this?
    Let’s get back to reality. North American society is consumerist, media-driven and shallow. A lot of what constitutes “attraction” is conditioned by superficial factors (how much one conforms to what society defines as “cool”) and not on the things that matter (character, intelligence etc.)
    Girls often dismiss a guy because he’s not “her type”. What is her “type”? A guy who conforms to the media-driven Hollywood aesthetic ideal – tall, muscular and (usually) white. And given that media portrayals of cool/sexy brown guys in Western media are non-existent, Tamil guys have the cards stacked against them in the interracial dating scene from the outset.
    Most guys are happy to settle for a pretty girl who treats him well. Women are much more discerning. And the sad reality is ethnicity plays a HUGE part in this equation, even in today’s post-racial “kumbaya” utopia.
    Even Anglo white girls who claim to be “liberal” and “progressive” and “open-minded” can be downright KKK in their choice of partners. They are just as shallow and conformist as anyone else.
    For now, brown girls are not rejecting their men to the extent that East Asian girls are – whether due to cultural pressure, stronger ties to ethnic roots, dance groups and Bollywood/Kollywood as a “cool” alternative to Hollywood. But this can change, particularly the more “Westernized” a brown girl gets.
    And this is why many Tamil guys feel threatened by interracial dating. We don’t want to end up like East Asian guys.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=63bWYFGBTuE

  9. Having said, I noticed the girl who wrote this article is from France. As rare as it is to see a brown guy with a white girl, the white girls you see with brown guys are usually foreign born, often French or Eastern European. I think non-Anglo white girls are less likely to be brainwashed by North American media that puts down brown guys, and are more likely to give a brown guy a chance on his own merits.

  10. Playing devil’s advocate here…
    Statistics reveal there are about 3x as many White Male-East Asian Female marriages as there are White Female-East Asian Male. If love is truly colourblind, why is it so skewed in one direction?
    A lot of East Asian guys complain that Western media portrayals of Asian males as nerdy/effeminate make it hard for them to compete in the dating scene. Worse, many Canadian and American-born Asian girls openly refuse to date their own men in favour of white guys. Why is this?
    Let’s get back to reality. North American society is consumerist, media-driven and shallow. A lot of what constitutes “attraction” is conditioned by superficial factors (how much one conforms to what society defines as “cool”) and not on the things that matter (character, intelligence etc.)
    Girls often dismiss a guy because he’s not “her type”. What is her “type”? A guy who conforms to the media-driven Hollywood aesthetic ideal – tall, muscular and (usually) white. And given that media portrayals of cool/sexy brown guys in Western media are non-existent, Tamil guys have the cards stacked against them in the interracial dating scene from the outset.
    Most guys are happy to settle for a pretty girl who treats him well. Women are much more discerning. And the sad reality is ethnicity plays a HUGE part in this equation, even in today’s post-racial “kumbaya” utopia.
    Even Anglo white girls who claim to be “liberal” and “progressive” and “open-minded” can be downright KKK in their choice of partners. They are just as shallow and conformist as anyone else.
    For now, brown girls are not rejecting their men to the extent that East Asian girls are – whether due to cultural pressure, stronger ties to ethnic roots, dance groups and Bollywood/Kollywood as a “cool” alternative to Hollywood. But this can change, particularly the more “Westernized” a brown girl gets.
    And this is why many Tamil guys feel threatened by interracial dating. We don’t want to end up like East Asian guys.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=63bWYFGBTuE

  11. Having said, I noticed the girl who wrote this article is from France. As rare as it is to see a brown guy with a white girl, the white girls you see with brown guys are usually foreign born, often French or Eastern European. I think non-Anglo white girls are less likely to be brainwashed by North American media that puts down brown guys, and are more likely to give a brown guy a chance on his own merits.

  12. I believe the reason were having this discussion in the first place is because many in our community think the white race is somewhat superior to the Tamil race. Hence ppl feel that marrying a person from the white race will make them more relevant. I believe that the Tamil race and it’s values is one of the best in the world and is not inferior to any other race ! 🙂 Not being a bigot just stating the truth!

  13. In my opinion, i think its more to do with character, like the video shows, more than the girl’s preference.
    A girl’s “type” can be anything and its more to do with the individuals taste. Yes. the media does have a strong influence, but the media also portrays women of colour, especially those that are brown, as “too reserved” or “timid” which can also cause the same effects as “uncool” or “nerdy” as you mentioned.
    In the pursuit of finding yourself the right partner, whether he/she be white or whatever colour, confidence and character is the key. You just need to put yourself out there!

  14. Yup, you have to feed them and get them to trust you before you can ride them… If you know what I mean 😉

  15. I love this. The oppotunity to experience different cultures is something to embrace. Not all people are so lucky or willing.

  16. It’s funny, my story is an almost mirror reflection of yours, I fell in love with a Tamil woman. Everything about the situation, as you already described, says no, it shouldn’t happen not even be allowed. This woman is beautiful, I struggle to find words that accurately describe her and let me tell you, I’m not even thinking about her looks. I love everything about her, the years of discovery, learning that I am truly colour blind and see way beyond such superficial things as culture and skin tone.
    The closeness I feel in this relationship is truly the stuff of fairy tales… I am, as you should be, determined to let your love flourish and forget what other people say or think, this is your life.. you only live once and life is no dress rehearsal.. so get it right first time. Do what you both feel is right, but you must both agree to that path and be happy with whatever it may, or indeed may not, bring to you. Know that your love and relationship is strong enough to weather the storm ahead… at the other end I am confident we’ll be happier than ever with parents who love us like they’re own. Go for it, don’t look back.. look forward. Good luck!

  17. As a Tamil man I ‘m married to an east Asian woman and we have a beautiful child together. 
    The only people who have made snide/racist remarks is a worker at Babu Catering. Such racists in that store.

  18. Johnrambo33 way to go off topic buddy. Who cares what white people as a whole do? This is just the author’s experience when she interacts with her boyfriend’s closed minded backwards social circle.

  19. Criticism I have received mostly came from Tamils of lower social status in Toronto. In practice most cultures encourage patience, tolerance and all that fancy stuff. But that is not how it pans out in reality. Just browse around this site and you will see how racist our community can be.
    As patriarch of a new breed and generation I use ‘half breed’ as a term of endearment.
    And tell you what, any tamil guy that is partnered up with a beautiful girl outside of his race is always a guy of high value. I bet you Chloe’s boyfriend is an alpha male. She herself is a well educated lady with a STEM degree. If they have kids together, those kids will have better genes than the mono-race Tamils.

  20. Aalima Burney maybe nice for you and hubby to read 🙂 I haven’t read the full article yet

  21. Midu Manoharan click druff und roll geg abe den gsehsh en dütschi wo uere guet tamilisch cha

  22. mrtamil_to I went through your comments and I can see why you don’t like tamil women. Tamil women are status conscious and have huge expectations though they don’t make the cut interms of looks or shape (not all of them ofcourse, or atleast the vocal ones) But based on your comments, I see some problems.
    You call the author’s boyfriend an alpha male and you assume that the french girl is beautiful. What if she was some fat white chick with a Stem Degree? Throwing a bone here. Still under Colonial influence eh? Assuming all white woman are beautiful.

    You call mixed children an elite. Do you see that you are creating a racial superiority here? 
    And the whole point of marriage is not to create beautiful kids, its to find someone understanding. If you did, its good. But I see a lot of superficiality in your thoughts. Just a little sad that an elite could possibly think this way.

  23. has any one factored in the idea that girls are traditionally raised to leave their families.  Girls family have to pay some one to take her (dowry)  girls are seen as a burden, whereas boys are seen to stay with the family, have the better value, take care of the parents,  they want a tamil daughter in law to look after them in their old age, one of reason they dont want their daughter marrying a non tamil is because of the shame it will bring upon the family, it doesnt matter because the connection will be broken at the daughter’s marriage, she will go off with her husband and their job is done.  The son will always be connected. no?

  24. SarahRoss1 in modern times, the dowry does not apply. It mostly takes effect for those who have arranged marriages  – and arranged marriages in Toronto are becoming increasingly rare. Any tamil girl that is raised in the western world will _not_ take care of her in laws in their old age. Those are myths.

  25. I can’t agree with you saying, we(Tamil Parents/community) are not integrated yet.  What you are looking now is a 1st generation Tamil vs 5th or 6 generation Italian or Greek. Every culture wants as much as possible for everything to stay with in their culture.
    1/ I work at a place where people are mostly French and when it comes to hiring or promotion they prefer the people from same community!  Why????
    2/ I used to work in a Place where it is Italian and Greek oriented and we were treated more like Low class citizens even though we have the same about experience and quality. Why????
    I do agree, mixing cultures brings a beautiful relationship as there are tons of things to learn about each culture. There are things to learn every day and Live is exciting. It works out so well for relationships.
    But this doesn’t work with Marriage(after 6 months of marriage). You can’t be learning about yourself in a marriage, now you have so many things to worry about it is an institution in itself.  You have to think about finacial safety, You have to think about building a family, you have to think about relatives so many things.
    Marriage also takes the exciting factor away from relationships, once where you were waiting for the partner and once you meet them it is exciting. But in Married life it is a bit different. Now you are sharing 2 to 3 hours per day with your man after married you will be spending 24 hours with
    him so you need to picture that as well and prepared for it, which is huge difference to a relationship. That’s when the differences start to kick in. You will have minor arguments, you have small miss understandings.
    you will have tougher times with work, kids, financial and health. You might need the support of your family, you may need the support of both families. The families needs a good understanding and good chemistry for your live to be happy.
    This is the reason why most cultures prefer their son or daughter to get married in their own community. Specially Tamil parents feel, there is still things to look after even if a girl/boy is married unlike in other western cultures where you are 18, you are free to leave home mentality.
    1/ So Tamil parents feel that if it is inter-racial relationship, then they won’t have any say in the relationship, if there is trouble, they can’t help.
    2/ A son-in-law or a daughter-in-law is a relationship and they want to be able to communicate freely with them.
    3/ They want to each their grand kids their culture, and this might not be easy with an outsider as there could be complications of different interests.
    4/ We 3rd world people have strong community based, where everything is noted (good or bad) and we live half of the live for the people around us(it is bad, but that’s the reality.) Until now it is a shame to get married to an outsider specially a white person.  I am sure this exist in every culture but the degree of effect is low. (Ex: Movie Big Fat Greek Wedding.)
    5/ They want the son-in-law or daughter-in-law to take care of them once they are old. Look after them and care them.
    There are so many other reasons, so I can’t agree with you saying, we(Tamil Parents) are not integrated yet, that is only saying that you haven’t understand our culture yet. So you have a long way to go. I wish you all the success.
    Nathan

  26. Children of our generation needs to take the time to talk to our parents honestly and explain put their views across in a mature way. They should also listen to our parents worries and concerns, respect and take them into consideration and if they decide to follow their own advice, then explain the reasons as to why and reassure our parents. It is also important to give our parents time to adjust and to get use to new things as well.

  27. MaharajSan when i am in Jaffna in 3 weeks i will try and get an invite to a Tamil wedding, ive already been to 2 sinhalese ceremonies. So you are for mixed marriages then?

  28. Oh yes. I don’t see anything wrong with them. As long as there is true love, they will succeed, no matter what others say.

  29. I agree with you. Marriages whether it is love or arranged can be tough at times. Only thing with arranged marriage is that both parties has the support from both families, which can be good but bad sometimes. Sometimes with family members interfering even though their intentions are honourable can cause more harm than good. I have seen this many times within the Tamil community. It takes a lot to work at a marriage and both parties must be willing to make it work even during the tough times. With interracial marriages, as long as both parties respect one another’s differences and acknowledges it, makes lots of effort to fit with the family (even if the family makes it difficult sometimes) and also, learn to combine the two cultures together rather than favouring one over the other. Have both families get together regularly and be open and honest with one another, learn to work together to live in harmony. Having said that I am aware of interracial marriages and relationships which have not worked out and in some cases, the children have been affected by it. It is important that you marry that person for the right reasons and with good intentions. If something does not feel right or your family and friends advise against it, listen to them wholeheartedly and take on board what they say. You must learn to love yourself and be proud of who you are before you can love someone. It will also project onto the children as well and they will look to their parents as role models and examples.

  30. It really depends on if the Tamil parent takes the time to educate their child about the Tamil culture and language and if the non-Tamil fully supports this. These things should be discussed and thought through ideally before getting engaged and married. I know plenty of Tamils who married Tamils, yet their children can’t speak Tamil and also other Tamil couples, where one can speak Tamil and the other can’t. There is one German lady (who pretty much is known by the majority of Tamils in UK) is married to a Tamil man and she is fluent in Tamil and their children are also fluent in Tamil.

  31. What if every Tamil chooses interacial marriage ? Then what ?? I know it seems unlikely and absurd but I think thats the sort of outcome your aspiring to achieve.

  32. Agreed bro! Just because we live in a western nation doesnt me we are compelled to adopt their values! We are from Tamil Eelam and should adopt its values and principles wherever we may live!!

  33. Not at all. This applies to love marriages to other Tamils as well. I know some Tamil parents who found it hard when their son/daughter chose their own wife/husband despite them being Tamil because of caste, religion or for whatever reason.

  34. I think it’s very sad to marry someone not because there’s real love but because you want to prove a petty point to your parents. Well your parents should be wiser than you. Why can’t it be the other way round where you listen to your parents? What’s the point of being a rebel? Treat your parents with love not hate . Peace . Nandri.

  35. peri2k It sounds like you have a fear of the other… the unknown. Whilst it is true that sharing a similar culture may mean we have similar interest, we need not forget that individuals are defined by many identifies and our culture is just one of them.

  36. its not rare to see brown men with white or yellow women…its rare to see white n yellow men with brown women……not tht i’m like the idea…i’m a fanatic southie..jus wondered if u hav an expaination for this.

  37. ERamachandran Pandit You mean like freedom to their bodies but any stupid outcome should be paid by society? Eg. Black woman and their freedom had huge success in U.S family life

  38. I agree with you about marrying someone to prove a petty point to your parents as it would seem like a battle and would cause further upset in the future. It also sets a poor example to the younger generation as well. We should listen to our parents and treat our parents with love, but we should also not be afraid put our own views and opinions in a gentle, loving manner across as well. Voice our opinions with love and integrity. It depends on the type of parents you have I guess. Some people do have close relationships with their parents, where they can turn to them, share everything with them and be open with them without it turning into a blazing row where there are tears and things said in the heat of the moment which they may later regret.

  39. Tamil parents would never accept a white person because of our cultural incompability…

    Because Tamils are morally scrupulous, save themselves for marriage, understand the proper relation between men and women, understand courtship practices, and participate in arranged marriages. Western people, conversely, just sleep around, get married and divorced – in short they don’t take relationships seriously. 

    The best thing about Tamil culture is that both men and women preserve themselves and stay virgins for their future partner.. whom they are yet to meet…and probably years after. They lose virginity to their partner only and stay together forever. Remaining virgin is a choice. A choice made to show the ultimate love and respect for their future partner… regardless of how he/she looks, does, where they come from, what they do etc… This is also ultimate self control. If you can control yourself and remain virgin till you get married then you will find it easier to be with the one you are married to. Simple logic. Applied by both men and women. 

     Chloe For you, sex is just a physical contact which fulfilling your body needs. but for us sex is love. its a bond between the life partners. we want to be special for particular person whoever she may be. 

    If virginity is not makes the girl/guy special then what makes the girl special for you? 
    if your answer is heart means, are you sure your wife loving you only for entire life after moving for some other.? 

    Sex matters… since sex tells you how one can be close enough to a person… having sex with multiple partners / having had sex with multiple partners means thats… One can be close to so many people which disqualifies them for monogamy relationships.

    If The western mentality to sex is so forward then why are men in Canada having sex with dead deers and dogs….Why are divorce rates so high if people fall in love? Why are girls treated as sex toys? Why are people still having sex with animals? Holy **! Don’t teach us what to do, brah….

    And by the way, they don’t value it that’s why divorce rates are high. In Canada, so many married women have been caught having sex with neighbors and some other people. Do you like it? Should we become like that? If my kids bring a white home I will disowned them and beat the crap of the white person.

    Western civilization is good for Tamil, when it comes to financial opportunities…when it comes to family, the typical American family is a joke. I know because I have lived here all my life and seen a broad swath of Canadian Society. The typical Canadian family consists of either one of the partners having committed adultery at least once. The women are bitchy and talk about nothing more than “personal space,” and their “rights” while the men cheat on them and look for some other orifice to stuff, and of course the kids getting hot and heavy with sex at the age of 14, which is hardly mature .

    We Tamil  in  Canada and other western countries  have done well by keeping our family lives intact, and if we keep doing so, we will remain one of the wealthiest groups in the country, and our rising numbers and affluence will give us political power in Capitol Hill. All we need to do is take full advantage of Canadian economic opportunities, but remain aloof from Canadian social mores. We should follow the example of the jewish community.

    Highest divorce rate on the planet more than any other race, fake, sex addict, manipulative, can’t cook, do not know how to be a parent, materialistic, pushy, lazy,  crazy(psychopath), ignorant, arrogant, etc and etc and etc. Who wants to even date or get married with a White woman? You know your life will suck the moment you get involved with white  people.. Yuckity puk

    We should follow our culture sense of unity and bonding in family……….. not the cheater wife with multiple partners with STD’S…… Au revoir!.

  40. Madhavan456 

    Engada culture la olukam mukiyam .

    High caste Tamil are taught from a very early age 

    Never marry a black
    Never marry a muslim
    Never marry a white

    NO BMW

    You are right Tamils that marry out side of there culture are usually not pure , they mostly have screwed up families , parents are married 2 or three times or are interacial marriage , raised by single parent born out side of Sri Lanka , etc they are not aware of true family values, traditions, history , there fore there hatred turn them to other cultures to be loved, Tamil families are never against there kids or marriages its just they dont want kids mixing with other cultures that have no family values , no respect for parents , they need appointment to meet for dinners , they leave parents dying in old age homes and kids visit them once in 20 years lol , they leave there infants with young arrogant baby sitters so they can have fun at bar and party , i have seen elderly white women crying cuz they are alone in end days living alone in some trailor or ditrty cheap appartment ,and there kids are not there for help they call there parents by names , o and famous word in white culture is i dont care lol , there are so many things , its not disrespect to any race or culture , its just should not happen . there is reason why there are 5 races on planet all of them extremely different from each other , IF YOU DONT HAVE HISTRY YOU DONT HAVE FUTURE , if you mix blood what ever is born does not have history , pure blood , does not have culture , tradition , background , it will always be half and half.This because we believe that race mixing is disgusting, disloyal, and destructive. For us it’s like you are openly saying to your ancestors and your children, “I hate you, I desert you, I will destroy everything you are and leave you with nothing.It’s selfish and destroying diversity and harmony, and it is encouraging strife.

    This culture is different from the West. 
    But at the same time, it is not limited to Tamil parents. Those who care for their children, are worried about whom they mix with and marry.

    Western society is a more egoistic society in that the needs of oneself are much more important than the wishes of siblings and family members. No sacrifices are made in this regard, while in Sri Lanka, sacrifices are often made for the greater wellbeing of the family. 

    The elderly are alienated, kids move away from home as soon as they are 18, and somebody who is older and still lives with mom and dad is considered weird, pathetic and a loner. People here are scoffed at for going with their parents to movies, etc. once they are adults, because Western culture expects you to do that with your girlfriend/bodyfiend/spouse. 

    Tamil culture teaches you to respect and worship god. It teaches you to respect the motherland- Sri Lanka and its people, your elders, your relatives. Call them by dear names and with respect. Like a maternal aunt would be called pathi’. It teaches you to obey your parents, and the generation before you, to treat all other Indians as your brothers and sisters. What more can you ask for? 
    Western Culture – call everyone by name, abuse your elders, relatives, disobey all and respect none.

    In Sri lanka there is concept of compound family. All will enjoy life in one house of all the family members of all 3-4 generations. Though it is changing little bit. But old is gold. Respect to elders means respect to their years of experience. Family is like a company. Everybody will be a part of team. Everybody will respect to each other. Elders will take important decisions. And kids will always enjoy by following elders decisions. Whole compound family at one place is like a powerful team. 

    Tamil parents are not like Western parents. Tamil parents love lot to their kids. They are not like western parents who change their spouse every after few years. Western parents are selfish for their enjoyment so they change their spouse. Indian parents will have priorities like kids, kids education, kids marriage etc and will not think of saving money for their retirement plan. As the Tamil parents look after welfare of kids till the parents are alive. Western parent will think of their retirement plan first and save money for them.Another reason 

    Is that raditional Tamil culture is completely different from the western..especially when it comes to marriage life. In the eyes of most Tamils… westerners are capable of polygamy, infidelity, fornication etc. In Tamil culture people are expected to be virgins till they get married… and they are expected to remain married forever to a single partner. Also.. western culture is self centric… exact opposite to the Tamil .

    But in the west this isn’t the case… People are fine with losing virginity before marriage, and people tend to give so many reasons to divorce or leave a partner .. for another. For an instance… reasons for divorce like… I lost the spark, fell out of love, I am no longer in love…etc are disgusting and ..selfish according to Indian standards. These are totally different cultures. So that’s the major fear of every Tamil families …when their son/daughter tells them they wanna marry a westerner. 

    In Sri Lanka a marriage is for life…and forever. So a parent will not risk their kid’s marriage life with someone from a culture…which is completely against theirs and have a very bad track record of sticking to one partner. Tamil families see ..their child getting married to a western person…similar to gambling with their life….

    People who mix have problems, its easy for them to hide behind political correctness but ultimately its nonsense and doesnt apply to the real world and when they have kids they essentially throw them under a bus and hope they deal with it somehow. 

    When they teach mixed kids that race is worthless, so worthless in fact that anyone who does value what they are Must inherently be racist… they immediately trap those kids into looking at people of a particular race who have issues as their parents did…as being “normal”. they force their kids to dip into a small pool of broken people. 

    And those mixed kids in turn help perpetrate the idea that the only ‘problem’ with race mixing would be good old fashioned racism, rather than viewing interacial mixing as a social itself in and of itself. 

  41. ERamachandran peri2k  Opens door, gypsy astrologer outside house: Nalla kalam porakudu Nalla kaalam porakudu. Ooru muluka club pubunu suthikitu irunda ponnugalukellam nalla kaalam porakudu. Vellaikaran, karupan, cheenanu multi-culturala suthikitu irundu gaja gaja kuja kuja panna ponnugaluku nalla kalam porakudu. Illichavayan matta poran..Illicha vayan matta poran. 

    White people are the most pathetic creatures on this Earth. Guys they are  bunch of criminal minded people who went to other people countries .To spread their filthy culture of crime rape kidnapping and child molestation.They have parasitic mentality. We have our own culture traditions , which will make us reach the top.

    Let’s see….
    Tamils
    ———-
    1. Mostly Educated with atleast masters degree.
    2. Mostly cultured and soft spoken.
    3. Mostly adaptive to other cultures.
    4. Moslty good citizens who believe in rules and regulations of their country.

    White people
    ———-
    1. Few are well educated(>10%). Rest are usually primary school dropout.
    2. Very rude with others. Not humble at all…..forget soft spoken.
    3. Always want to impose their culture & lifestyle on others.
    4. Never follow rules & regulations. Try to fraud in tax.
    One can see who is better human being..
    5-Change spouses every year/aids culture

    White peopler really don’t have much of a clue what Tamils like. Tamils DON’T like  Such is the smugness of white people, when we are openly saying that we don’t like their people, they  are still insisting we do. . That’s another thing I hate about whites. Too smug, ignorant & full of themselves. White peopel are only good for blacks and even that is debatable .We Tamils have  the oldest and still living civilization and you won’t ruin it.

  42. Madhavan456   Engada culture la olukam mukiyam .

    You are right Tamils that marry out side of there culture are usually not pure , they mostly have screwed up families , parents are married 2 or three times or are interacial marriage , raised by single parent born out side of Sri Lanka , etc they are not aware of true family values, traditions, history , there fore there hatred turn them to other cultures to be loved, Tamil families are never against there kids or marriages its just they dont want kids mixing with other cultures that have no family values , no respect for parents , they need appointment to meet for dinners , they leave parents dying in old age homes and kids visit them once in 20 years lol , they leave there infants with young arrogant baby sitters so they can have fun at bar and party , i have seen elderly white women crying cuz they are alone in end days living alone in some trailor or ditrty cheap appartment ,and there kids are not there for help they call there parents by names , o and famous word in white culture is i dont care lol , there are so many things , its not disrespect to any race or culture , its just should not happen . there is reason why there are 5 races on planet all of them extremely different from each other , IF YOU DONT HAVE HISTRY YOU DONT HAVE FUTURE , if you mix blood what ever is born does not have history , pure blood , does not have culture , tradition , background , it will always be half and half.This because we believe that race mixing is disgusting, disloyal, and destructive. For us it’s like you are openly saying to your ancestors and your children, “I hate you, I desert you, I will destroy everything you are and leave you with nothing.It’s selfish and destroying diversity and harmony, and it is encouraging strife.

    This culture is different from the West. 
    But at the same time, it is not limited to Tamil parents. Those who care for their children, are worried about whom they mix with and marry.

    Western society is a more egoistic society in that the needs of oneself are much more important than the wishes of siblings and family members. No sacrifices are made in this regard, while in Sri Lanka, sacrifices are often made for the greater wellbeing of the family. 

    The elderly are alienated, kids move away from home as soon as they are 18, and somebody who is older and still lives with mom and dad is considered weird, pathetic and a loner. People here are scoffed at for going with their parents to movies, etc. once they are adults, because Western culture expects you to do that with your girlfriend/bodyfiend/spouse. 

    Tamil culture teaches you to respect and worship god. It teaches you to respect the motherland- Sri Lanka and its people, your elders, your relatives. Call them by dear names and with respect. Like a maternal aunt would be called pathi’. It teaches you to obey your parents, and the generation before you, to treat all other Indians as your brothers and sisters. What more can you ask for? 
    Western Culture – call everyone by name, abuse your elders, relatives, disobey all and respect none.

    In Sri lanka there is concept of compound family. All will enjoy life in one house of all the family members of all 3-4 generations. Though it is changing little bit. But old is gold. Respect to elders means respect to their years of experience. Family is like a company. Everybody will be a part of team. Everybody will respect to each other. Elders will take important decisions. And kids will always enjoy by following elders decisions. Whole compound family at one place is like a powerful team. 

    Tamil parents are not like Western parents. Tamil parents love lot to their kids. They are not like western parents who change their spouse every after few years. Western parents are selfish for their enjoyment so they change their spouse. Indian parents will have priorities like kids, kids education, kids marriage etc and will not think of saving money for their retirement plan. As the Tamil parents look after welfare of kids till the parents are alive. Western parent will think of their retirement plan first and save money for them.Another reason 

    Is that raditional Tamil culture is completely different from the western..especially when it comes to marriage life. In the eyes of most Tamils… westerners are capable of polygamy, infidelity, fornication etc. In Tamil culture people are expected to be virgins till they get married… and they are expected to remain married forever to a single partner. Also.. western culture is self centric… exact opposite to the Tamil .

    But in the west this isn’t the case… People are fine with losing virginity before marriage, and people tend to give so many reasons to divorce or leave a partner .. for another. For an instance… reasons for divorce like… I lost the spark, fell out of love, I am no longer in love…etc are disgusting and ..selfish according to Sri Lankan Tamil standards. These are totally different cultures. So that’s the major fear of every Tamil families …when their son/daughter tells them they wanna marry a westerner. 

    In Sri Lanka a marriage is for life…and forever. So a parent will not risk their kid’s marriage life with someone from a culture…which is completely against theirs and have a very bad track record of sticking to one partner. Tamil families see ..their child getting married to a western person…similar to gambling with their life….

  43. I’m Sri Lankan and I can tell you that tamil culture is always the same(we have the oldest and still living civilization in the whole world) ,we are still here because we only mix within our own people and we are very conservative (I’m born In Germany but I can speak/read/write tamil and I will remain virgin till the mariage because my culture is telling me to do so).

    I  believe that marrying within one’s ethnicity is essential to creating a world where a variety of cultures are preserved without being homogenized into a more dominant one.

    Chloe I think you are a selfish and racist person as not only do you want a child to have no identity and country but you want genocide. I want what is best for any marriage and any child that results.

    As Tamils, we share a common sense of identity, language and beliefs. Marriage is only the beginning in the long and continuous commitment to carry the Tamil cultural legacy of our ancestors spanning thousands of years. Marriage is something beyond a man and woman living together jointly; it is a tradition involving the merging of two families and steeped in traditions and beliefs passed on for generations. Marriage within our ethnic group allows us to preserve these values and traditions as both couples cherish a common identity and culture.

     Like anonymous man said in this article 
    http://tamilculture.com/why-i-believe-tamils-should-marry-tamils/

    As diaspora Tamils, we have moved thousands of miles abroad in search of opportunity and to make a better life for ourselves. We have adopted foreign lands as our own, built places of worship, and formed cultural organizations and institutions to preserve our identity. One cannot deny that our unified Tamil identity and traditional Tamil values imparted to us by our parents – a respect for elders, faith, traditions, education, marriage and family – form the foundation of the success that diaspora Tamils enjoy today. And in a marriage in which both partners are Tamil, we are in a much more advantageous position to preserve and transmit these values to our children.

    I understand that from a liberal perspective, the entire human race is comprised of descendants from Ethiopia. Race is an arbitrary social construct. However, I prefer to live in a world where individual cultures and identities thrive, without being lost to more dominant cultures. To ensure that our Tamil language, culture, values and ancestral legacy – steeped in thousands of years of tradition – are preserved, marriage within our ethnic community should be encouraged.

    Source:TC
    Look, here’s the reality when it comes to dating a Sri Lankan hindu girls. 
    Her parents are probably on the lookout for a husband for her, even as we speak. In that culture, arranged marriages are the norm….

    Sri Lankan parents don’t generally approve of their children dating even other Sri Lankans, let alone dating outsiders. Family reputation is very important for us, a son or daughter seen freely dating in the Sri Lankan community gets a bad reputation and therefore a bad ”reference”. This has serious negative consequences for the family, in that when it comes to geting their children married (especially their daughters) other Sri Lankans will think twice before sending them marriage proposals and it could mean their daughters get rejected by potential Sri Lankan spouses and remain unmarried their entire lives. A guy who has a ”bad reputation” can ruin the future of hisbrother /sisters.White culture does not have any familly values plus Chloe you don’t meet any of the criteria to marry a Tamil (non virigin/smoker/drinker). In Tamil culture you cannot marry a non virgin.

  44. Mamat37000Tamil Is infuriating that the same people that yell stop genocide in sri lanka are the ones engaging in interracial marriages. so much for the sri lankan tamil race. believe it or not largest concentration of sri lankan tamils in the world are in Toronto but wont be for too long with all the mulattoes.

  45. Sorry Chloe but Engada culture la olukam mukiyam .

    You are right Tamils that marry out side of there culture are usually not pure , they mostly have screwed up families , parents are married 2 or three times or are interacial marriage , raised by single parent born out side of Sri Lanka , etc they are not aware of true family values, traditions, history , there fore there hatred turn them to other cultures to be loved, Tamil families are never against there kids or marriages its just they dont want kids mixing with other cultures that have no family values , no respect for parents , they need appointment to meet for dinners , they leave parents dying in old age homes and kids visit them once in 20 years lol , they leave there infants with young arrogant baby sitters so they can have fun at bar and party , i have seen elderly white women crying cuz they are alone in end days living alone in some trailor or ditrty cheap appartment ,and there kids are not there for help they call there parents by names , o and famous word in white culture is i dont care lol , there are so many things , its not disrespect to any race or culture , its just should not happen . there is reason why there are 5 races on planet all of them extremely different from each other , IF YOU DONT HAVE HISTRY YOU DONT HAVE FUTURE , if you mix blood what ever is born does not have history , pure blood , does not have culture , tradition , background , it will always be half and half.This because we believe that race mixing is disgusting, disloyal, and destructive. For us it’s like you are openly saying to your ancestors and your children, “I hate you, I desert you, I will destroy everything you are and leave you with nothing.It’s selfish and destroying diversity and harmony, and it is encouraging strife.

    This culture is different from the West. 
    But at the same time, it is not limited to Tamil parents. Those who care for their children, are worried about whom they mix with and marry.

    Western society is a more egoistic society in that the needs of oneself are much more important than the wishes of siblings and family members. No sacrifices are made in this regard, while in Sri Lanka, sacrifices are often made for the greater wellbeing of the family. 

    The elderly are alienated, kids move away from home as soon as they are 18, and somebody who is older and still lives with mom and dad is considered weird, pathetic and a loner. People here are scoffed at for going with their parents to movies, etc. once they are adults, because Western culture expects you to do that with your girlfriend/bodyfiend/spouse. 

    Tamil culture teaches you to respect and worship god. It teaches you to respect the motherland- Sri Lanka and its people, your elders, your relatives. Call them by dear names and with respect. Like a maternal aunt would be called pathi’. It teaches you to obey your parents, and the generation before you, to treat all other Tamils as your brothers and sisters. What more can you ask for? 
    Western Culture – call everyone by name, abuse your elders, relatives, disobey all and respect none.

    In Sri lanka there is concept of compound family. All will enjoy life in one house of all the family members of all 3-4 generations. Though it is changing little bit. But old is gold. Respect to elders means respect to their years of experience. Family is like a company. Everybody will be a part of team. Everybody will respect to each other. Elders will take important decisions. And kids will always enjoy by following elders decisions. Whole compound family at one place is like a powerful team. 

    Tamil parents are not like Western parents. Tamil parents love lot to their kids. They are not like western parents who change their spouse every after few years. Western parents are selfish for their enjoyment so they change their spouse. Tamil parents will have priorities like kids, kids education, kids marriage etc and will not think of saving money for their retirement plan. As the Indian parents look after welfare of kids till the parents are alive. Western parent will think of their retirement plan first and save money for them.Another reason 

    Is that raditional Tamil culture is completely different from the western..especially when it comes to marriage life. In the eyes of most Tamils… westerners are capable of polygamy, infidelity, fornication etc. In Tamil culture people are expected to be virgins till they get married… and they are expected to remain married forever to a single partner. Also.. western culture is self centric… exact opposite to the Tamil .

    But in the west this isn’t the case… People are fine with losing virginity before marriage, and people tend to give so many reasons to divorce or leave a partner .. for another. For an instance… reasons for divorce like… I lost the spark, fell out of love, I am no longer in love…etc are disgusting and ..selfish according to Indian standards. These are totally different cultures. So that’s the major fear of every Tamil families …when their son/daughter tells them they wanna marry a westerner. 

    In Sri Lanka a marriage is for life…and forever. So a parent will not risk their kid’s marriage life with someone from a culture…which is completely against theirs and have a very bad track record of sticking to one partner. Tamil families see ..their child getting married to a western person…similar to gambling with their life….God bless the mother for being Tamil.

  46. Sorry Chloe but Engada culture la olukam mukiyam .

    Tamils that marry out side of there culture are usually not pure , they mostly have screwed up families , parents are married 2 or three times or are interacial marriage , raised by single parent born out side of Sri Lanka , etc they are not aware of true family values, traditions, history , there fore there hatred turn them to other cultures to be loved, Tamil families are never against there kids or marriages its just they dont want kids mixing with other cultures that have no family values , no respect for parents , they need appointment to meet for dinners , they leave parents dying in old age homes and kids visit them once in 20 years lol , they leave there infants with young arrogant baby sitters so they can have fun at bar and party , i have seen elderly white women crying cuz they are alone in end days living alone in some trailor or ditrty cheap appartment ,and there kids are not there for help they call there parents by names , o and famous word in white culture is i dont care lol , there are so many things , its not disrespect to any race or culture , its just should not happen . there is reason why there are 5 races on planet all of them extremely different from each other , IF YOU DONT HAVE HISTRY YOU DONT HAVE FUTURE , if you mix blood what ever is born does not have history , pure blood , does not have culture , tradition , background , it will always be half and half.This because we believe that race mixing is disgusting, disloyal, and destructive. For us it’s like you are openly saying to your ancestors and your children, “I hate you, I desert you, I will destroy everything you are and leave you with nothing.It’s selfish and destroying diversity and harmony, and it is encouraging strife.

    This culture is different from the West. 

    But at the same time, it is not limited to Tamil parents. Those who care for their children, are worried about whom they mix with and marry.

    Western society is a more egoistic society in that the needs of oneself are much more important than the wishes of siblings and family members. No sacrifices are made in this regard, while in Sri Lanka, sacrifices are often made for the greater wellbeing of the family. 

    The elderly are alienated, kids move away from home as soon as they are 18, and somebody who is older and still lives with mom and dad is considered weird, pathetic and a loner. People here are scoffed at for going with their parents to movies, etc. once they are adults, because Western culture expects you to do that with your girlfriend/bodyfiend/spouse. 

    Tamil culture teaches you to respect and worship god. It teaches you to respect the motherland- Sri Lanka and its people, your elders, your relatives. Call them by dear names and with respect. Like a maternal aunt would be called pathi’. It teaches you to obey your parents, and the generation before you, to treat all other Tamils as your brothers and sisters. What more can you ask for? 

    Western Culture – call everyone by name, abuse your elders, relatives, disobey all and respect none.

    In Sri lanka there is concept of compound family. All will enjoy life in one house of all the family members of all 3-4 generations. Though it is changing little bit. But old is gold. Respect to elders means respect to their years of experience. Family is like a company. Everybody will be a part of team. Everybody will respect to each other. Elders will take important decisions. And kids will always enjoy by following elders decisions. Whole compound family at one place is like a powerful team. 

    Tamil parents are not like Western parents. Tamil parents love lot to their kids. They are not like western parents who change their spouse every after few years. Western parents are selfish for their enjoyment so they change their spouse. Tamil parents will have priorities like kids, kids education, kids marriage etc and will not think of saving money for their retirement plan. As the Indian parents look after welfare of kids till the parents are alive. Western parent will think of their retirement plan first and save money for them.Another reason 

    Is that raditional Tamil culture is completely different from the western..especially when it comes to marriage life. In the eyes of most Tamils… westerners are capable of polygamy, infidelity, fornication etc. In Tamil culture people are expected to be virgins till they get married… and they are expected to remain married forever to a single partner. Also.. western culture is self centric… exact opposite to the Tamil .

    But in the west this isn’t the case… People are fine with losing virginity before marriage, and people tend to give so many reasons to divorce or leave a partner .. for another. For an instance… reasons for divorce like… I lost the spark, fell out of love, I am no longer in love…etc are disgusting and ..selfish according to Indian standards. These are totally different cultures. So that’s the major fear of every Tamil families …when their son/daughter tells them they wanna marry a westerner. 

    In Sri Lanka a marriage is for life…and forever. So a parent will not risk their kid’s marriage life with someone from a culture…which is completely against theirs and have a very bad track record of sticking to one partner. Tamil families see ..their child getting married to a western person…similar to gambling with their life….God bless the mother for being Tamil.

  47. Madhavan456

    Tamils that marry out side of there culture are usually not pure , they mostly have screwed up families , parents are married 2 or three times or are interacial marriage , raised by single parent born out side of Sri Lanka , etc they are not aware of true family values, traditions, history , there fore there hatred turn them to other cultures to be loved, Tamil families are never against there kids or marriages its just they dont want kids mixing with other cultures that have no family values , no respect for parents , they need appointment to meet for dinners , they leave parents dying in old age homes and kids visit them once in 20 years lol , they leave there infants with young arrogant baby sitters so they can have fun at bar and party , i have seen elderly white women crying cuz they are alone in end days living alone in some trailor or ditrty cheap appartment ,and there kids are not there for help they call there parents by names , o and famous word in white culture is i dont care lol , there are so many things , its not disrespect to any race or culture , its just should not happen . there is reason why there are 5 races on planet all of them extremely different from each other , IF YOU DONT HAVE HISTORY YOU DONT HAVE FUTURE , if you mix blood what ever is born does not have history , pure blood , does not have culture , tradition , background , it will always be half and half.This because we believe that race mixing is disgusting, disloyal, and destructive. For us it’s like you are openly saying to your ancestors and your children, “I hate you, I desert you, I will destroy everything you are and leave you with nothing.It’s selfish and destroying diversity and harmony, and it is encouraging strife.

    sound so good as a slogan but it is 

    SCIENTIFICALLY WRONG. We humans DO have a race

    Even a fruit like mango has different types

    never, it cannot happen, and will not happen.

    Tamil parents do take the blame on themselves, in order to protect the wrong actions of their kids, but, they too know the reality.

    The fact is that when the parents die, of those people who do intercsate marriages, no relative arrives at their death bed.

    So this won’t happen.  People who mix have problems, its easy for them to hide behind political correctness but ultimately its nonsense and doesnt apply to the real world and when they have kids they essentially throw them under a bus and hope they deal with it somehow. 

    When they teach mixed kids that race is worthless, so worthless in fact that anyone who does value what they are Must inherently be racist… they immediately trap those kids into looking at people of a particular race who have issues as their parents did…as being “normal”. they force their kids to dip into a small pool of broken people. 

    And those mixed kids in turn help perpetrate the idea that the only ‘problem’ with race mixing would be good old fashioned racism, rather than viewing interacial mixing as a social itself in and of itself.

  48. Your prejudice and intolerance is appalling. I cannot believe that people like you with your crazy generalizations regarding white women, really exist in this world! If I were to say these things about you and your culture I would be called a racist and worse! No one would take me seriously. I’m certain that there are as many bad Tamil people as there are bad “white” people and there are as many fine white people as there are fine Tamil people. I do not hold such horrible views of any other cultural group or race as you do. That makes me a better person than you and you owe me an apology.

  49. Maggiemay1953  You would be called a racist because white people oppressed and raped non whites…We Tamils had a vaste empire and  we never did such acts…..  We are not racist, it is just a belief the “typical” Tamil would date/be in love with/marry only one guy in her entire life or the community will shame the whole family. As for Interracial we consider it as bestiality  do not force your backward beliefs on us….

  50. Mamat37000Tamil   The reasons are: 
    The difference between Tamils and mainstream society is more then skin deep. TheTamil culture, worldview, and laws are radically different from mainstream society. 

    Sri Lankans Tamils have always been segregated from mainstream society. You never hear Tamils complain about segregation like the “Black people, because that is exactly how Sri Lankan Tamil society is constructed. Sri Lankan society is segregated firstly by family, secondly by community, thirdly by Nation and then by Race. 

    The backbone of Sri Lankan Tamil  society is the extended family. The majority of one’s leisure time is spent with one’s own family members. Siblings and cousins of relatively the same age will be life long companions. Because the family connection is so strong, much of one’s time and resources are spent in family responsibilities. 

    In a marriage their will be a “connection” between but not a “merge” of two family groups, “his family/friends” and “her family/friends”. So, in a marriage the couple will still have a strong independent relationship outside the marriage. 

    If someone marries into Sri Lankan Tamilsociety and does not have the same societal structure they will find themselves in isolation. They will likely always have a feeling that they don’t quite belong or aren’t quite accepted, because they don’t have their own independent relationship outside the marriage. 

    On YA you often hear Non-Tamils speak of this difference. 

    One man said he had married a Tamil Amercan woman. He said “never again, if you marry a Tamil  American you marry the whole clan”. It sounds funny but true. It’s the result of the strong family responsibilities. 

    Another said they had lived long-term . He said “People are cordial and polite, but you are never one of them, you are always separate. 

    A woman said her grandmother’s mixed marriage lasted, even though she was isolated from the community and was never quite accepted. 
    —- 

    Because of these differences, few mixed marriages ever last. 

    So most Tamils marry within their race because they make the decision to preserve their own culture and race. Mainstream society does not have to make such decisions because their race is not subject to governmental extermination. 

    If we Tamil people continue to reproduce with other Tamils, especially from our own caste , it keeps us alive. Our culture will continue to flourish. Our children will know who they are and where they come from. They will be strong, proud people without identity issues.

  51. SarahRoss1    Marrying within our own race does not make us racist….. As for white people calling anyone racist …. IS LAUGHABLE you are the oppressor and we are the victims..

    STOP DENYING IT! The truth is that we are better human beings than you. We never created invasions towards anyone we behave better than you ignorant cave crackers we arent the most hated in the world as you whites are and we still have our culture something you people have the tendency to notoriously try to steal from others . we didnt create apartheid in south africa having 400000 of us running like your race did we aint hated amongst middle east as you are and we dont have aboriginals telling us to take a hike unlike they did to you on the canadian news just a week ago as they said white man go back to europe!!!!!! shameless people.

  52. mrtamil_to What arranged marriage are stil practices by most western born Tamils, it’s only the lower castes that go for love and interracial marriages….. A myth ? No there are still Tamil girls raised in the western world that will take care of their parents in their old age. As for dowry it is still practised even in the western world…

  53. Reading all those comments is very interesting for me. I am what you would call a “Westerner”, as a matter of fact I am French and I live in Paris. I just wanted to say that there is no such thing as a “wertern culture”, it is as inacurate to speak about it as it is to speak about an “Indian  culture” : in India Tamil culture has little to do with the culture of Hindi speaking indians in the north. And it is the same thing in the Western world : French culture is very very different from American culture or British culture. We shared parts of our history but that’s all (religions are very different in France, Great-Britain or America as an example).
    I read some comments dealing with sex before mariage and critisizing the attitude of “westerners” toward sexuality. In France, sex before mariage is not at all a tabou, as a matter of fact people usualy enjoy a lot of sex before mariage because it is a way to enjoy one’s own body. But that doesn’t mean that love is absent in our society, and, of cource, as every human beings in the planet, french people fall in love. However in my culture we accept the fact that even if two people are in love it is possible that, after a few years spent together, they realize that they were not, in fact, meant for each other. As a result divorce is a very common thing, but it is not always the case (I know many couple who are together since decades!). We just accept the fact that human beings can make mistakes. I am not at all critisizing Tamil culture, I have a lot of respect for it, but I am just trying to explain to you how we see the world and sexuality in Europe in general and in France in particular. It was not like that at all during the old days (that is to say before the XXth century) where mariages were always aranged ones and when people couldn’t divorce because of the church. Women couldn’t enjoy any sex before mariage as men had the oppurtunity to go the brothel. This was not a very enjoyable society and that’s why french people changed it during the most recent parts of french history. But you have to be very carefull making those kind of generalization because “westerners” are all very different and all have different opinions about sexuality in general.
    I also read comments about colonization justifying racism in the Tamil community. During XIXth and the XXth century France also had (like Great Britain) a huge colonial empire (Africa, South East Asia). I grew up listening in history class about this things and about how horrible colonization was. For all the mistakes of my ancestors I own to colonized countries an apology. But on the other hand those were the mistakes of people who lived long before me, I have little to do with the way the thought. I am as choked by the colonization as modern Tamils are. And, as a matter of fact, I speak about “my ancestors” but, as far as I know, my ancestors were very simple people, most likely fishermen and didn’t realy cared about colonization. I even have a grand grand father who gave to African tribes weapons to fight the Bristish!
    As for your fear of seing the disparition of Tamil culture because of the mixing with white people, I can also use one example of my own national history. During the secound half of the XXth century many emmigrants (mostly from north and south africa and south east asia) came to France to work. Some of them got maried with french people and this had very little impact on our culture. As a matter of fact french culture was enriched by those new arrivals, and this allowed us to develop new aspects of our culture as france became more and more a multicultural society.

  54. YoungTamil Maggiemay1953 So there’s no rape happening among Sri Lankans right now? Liar.

  55. VB45 What white people did in the past has everything to with how the world is today. To ignore the historical actions of what others have done continues the perpetuation of those same actions. That’s why they call it ignore•ance. We all need to face the truth so we can progress.As for white people you are culture less people.

  56. youvelookedbetter YoungTamil The world is changing ,but Tamil culture never changes, it is the oldest and still living culture!

  57. VB45  Why do white people care so much about other races. truth is if someone has their way of life and culture whites should leave them alone and be more concerned about yourself rather than others. this forced integration and assimilation is going too far . leave other races alone! live and let live!

  58. peri2k Oh…he’s fresh off the boat, while you are just oh-so American….I see the years of worshipping westerners has led you to believe that by being born here you have too have inherited a western physical appearance (fair skin, light eyes/hair). Before you rush to condemn everyone who identifies with Tamil traditional culture and deify your beloved white heroes, please think back to a mere 100 years ago when your “open-minded” Anglo-saxon savious were stripping Tamil women naked in public all as part of the empire.

  59. Many man and  women from non-white backgrounds  have this condition, where white skin becomes an object of social status to gain. I’m sure that there are many relationships that are free of this thought, but it is an all too common phenomenon. This issue gets touchy considering the fact that white westerners have in the past treated  Tamils like sub-humans.

  60. VB45  
    You are right to say that not all whites have ill treated Non-whites. However, it is also safe to say that every white carries in him/her at least a trace of the racism that they were so infected with from the 1500’s to the 1950s. When you marry out of the race, many people see it as a tacit admission that a white man has something for you that a Tamil person can never offer, which would not be a problem had Tamil not been persecuted by white westerners in the past. Remember, that whites shares his genes in common with a white monster by the name of Reginald Dyer, a British general who machine gunned hundreds of Indian women and children and young men (one of whom was my great grandpa) in 1919. 

    I am not saying that every white is the same, because most of my friends (more than 1/2) are white as I too grew up in a suburb in upsate New York. Partially, because whites simply do not have the power that they once did. They will soon become a minority in North America and will eventually vanish, and the already the richest group in the USA is Indians. Thats a different topic, but with the demise of white power in the USA, we Tamils are one of the groups who can fill the upcoming power vacuum if we stick together and become community minded like the jewish people have.

  61. VB45   Its called raising children. 
    All good parents do the same things. 
    “modern society” does not equate to liberal ideology if that’s what you’ve been brainwashed with. 
    It is the cultural back ground. With a strong family oriented culture. This culture is different from the West. 
    But at the same time, it is not limited to Asian parents. Those who care for their children, are worried about whom they mix with and marry.
    Western society is  a more egoistic society in that the needs of oneself are much more important than the wishes of siblings and family members. No sacrifices are made in this regard, while in India, sacrifices are often made for the greater well-being of the family. 
    The elderly are alienated, kids move away from home as soon as they are 18, and somebody who is older and still lives with mom and dad is considered weird, pathetic and a loner. People here are scoffed at for going with their parents to movies, etc. once they are adults, because Western culture expects you to do that with your girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse. 
    Tamil culture teaches you to respect and worship god. It teaches you to respect the motherland-  and its people, your elders, your relatives. Call them by dear names and with respect. Like a maternal aunt would be called pathi’. It teaches you to obey your parents, and the generation before you, to treat all other Indians as your brothers and sisters. What more can you ask for? 
    Western Culture – call everyone by name, abuse your elders, relatives, disobey all and respect none.
    In  Tamil culture there is concept of compound family. All will enjoy life in one house of all the family members of all 3-4 generations. Though it is changing little bit. But old is gold. Respect to elders means respect to their years of experience. Family is like a company. Everybody will be a part of team. Everybody will respect to each other. Elders will take important decisions. And kids will always enjoy by following elders decisions. Whole compound family at one place is like a powerful team. 
    Tamil parents are not like White parents. Tamil parents love lot to their kids. They are not like western parents who change their spouse every after few years. Western parents are selfish for their enjoyment so they change their spouse. Indian parents will have priorities like kids, kids education, kids marriage etc and will not think of saving money for their retirement plan. As the Indian parents look after welfare of kids till the parents are alive. Western parent will think of their retirement plan first and save money for them.
    I don’t say western culture is bad, but it is not good….. the bad things like rape, suicide, drugs,,teenager mothers ,porno evolved from western,,, not to mention about lesbian, gay and AIDS. …

  62. YoungTamil   Tamil men instinctively protect their women and will even sacrifice their lives in this process, the way it is programmed in his DNA. . . . . 
    Sex is the symbol of this exclusive divine bond meant to procreate rather than for pleasure . . .. . Orgasm from LOVE ( and not LUST ) electrically charges healthy sperm , and hence the off spring will NOT be a depraved homosexual .. . . .. 
    In contrast ,the western woman have nothing left to exchange for love but sex. Thus, many are unnaturally obsessed with appearance , putting plastic inside their bodies and pathetically give their bodies to all and sundry. . . . 
    I ask Tamil bachelors, ensure that you marry a woman who can take care of you and your children. This is more important than good looks. . 
    .

  63. youvelookedbetter There are almost no rapes in Tamil lands. most of Tamil men are caste oriented .  Why is the Tamil divorce rate the least?  
    Why do you think the white man has always come to Tamils for life management solutions?   They give a damn for their own Oprah Winfrey and Sigmund Freud.Western marriages fail as there is too much of DRIP DRIP nagging at home..  
    Most of the nagging takes place in a western home , as they have love marriages where the equation is 50:50.  Before they get married they show the best profile to each other. After two months of marriage , the sexual attraction weakens and slowly they start noticing each other’s warts,  which were camouflaged before .

  64. youvelookedbetter For you, s#x is just a physical contact which fulfilling your body needs. but for us s#x is love. its a bond between the life partners. we want to be special for particular person whoever she may be. 
    Like someone else said :If virginity is not makes the girl/guy special then what makes the girl special for you? 
    if your answer is heart means, are you sure your wife loving you only for entire life after moving for some other.? 
    S#x matters… since s#x tells you how one can be close enough to a person… having sex with multiple partners / having had s#x with multiple partners means thats… One can be close to so many people which disqualifies them for monogamy relationships.
    in your point of view even if a girl says to her husband that she had sex before marriage, her husband who has been upholding virtues taught to him should to say to her Its ok?? i think that might not be possible here !!! because we people here are not like westerners !! ‘

  65. People are so obsessed with following Western Culture. With time they are slowly but steadily becoming from bad to worse. The mass acceptance of evil concepts are becoming so ingrained in them that those evils have lost their identity as evils now. The yardstick for gauging good and bad is slowly getting lost till we will reach a point when no bad things will be considered bad and no good things will be praised.

  66. Veeram  Tamils do not understand that we are better then west when it comes to culture and family traditions, its actually sad to see the new generation trying to learn those bad behaviors  from west, dont they see whats happening there already? STD s, generations of teen age mothers, illegitimate children, such victims get lured into s#x business and drugs…., The west some how seems to be oky with it which is why they dont know their own fathers or family, they end up being psychologically damaged, doing drugs, etc If you wanna practice such untamil behaviors  get go where its practiced dont bring that here in our culture.Westernized Tamils if you want to sleep around and marry white people, stay unmarried and do whatever the heck you want, but stay away from marriage and do not cry when your children will suffer from racism. The west have done a fantastic job of ruining marriage and family values and look where its gotten them- an entire economy has been shattered.

  67. VB45 Western civilizations looted wealth accumulated over centuries from all over the world.with that money they could afford to entice best educated people to develop scientifically.you say internet was developed in west, true, but all computer languages use 1 and zero given by Tamils. Majority teens in west are either a drug addicts or sex addicts.Within 75 years after world war II which destroyed imperialism,every western country is absolutely bankrupt.This proves beyond a shadow of doubt that they are big sized warriors but useless in the brain dept.Every discovery worth its weight were done by Indian,Chinese and Jews all ancient civilizations.

  68. As a young « white » woman being in a relationship with a tamil man (for a very long time already), I have a few words to say. Thanks Chloé for writing this beautiful article!

    However, what Chloé wrote does not show half the suffering (and I don’t mean this in a bad way, it was just not the subject of her article) that unfortunately so many people in this world have to go through when being rejected of their love’s parents (and also a whole ethnic community), simply because of one’s different cultural background, something one can’t choose and does not say anything about one’s character. How can some of you say that western women are all « without morals », when I bet you haven’t even got a real western friend? In my (European) country there are so many tamils, and they seem to live in a parallel world, the first generation rarely has contact with non-tamils. As I’ve read in a comment, many of the tamils like the economic benefits of the western world, but that’s all. However, have you ever thought what came with our economic success? Social change! 150 years ago, western society was actually not so much different from the tamil society (regarding the basics for sure, for example arranged marriages and so on, I know that the cultures are very different). And we now don’t blame this change on the bad influences of other cultures; we realized that it came naturally when other structures changed.

    So if you want to prevent your children from the « bad western influence », you simply shouldn’t have come to live in the western world, because a parallel society will not work here, not over many generations. You don’t get your nice economic benefits for nothing. When making a decision it may also have other consequences than only the ones you would like to have. I know that the tamils fled from Sri Lanka and therefore didn’t come here deliberately, but the realization is true nonetheless and you can’t deny or change it. And this is what seems to be the source of the deeply dissatisfied minds of the many conservatives here.

    And regarding the comments such as « Children should just listen to their parents », I have to say: How intelligent is it to let other people make the important decisions in your life, when the clue of reincarnation (which I deeply believe in) was actually to learn from YOUR experiences in your life? Well, it might be comforting to say at the end of your life that you weren’t guilty of your failed marriage, since your parents chose your partner, but where is the learning effect? It’s quite sad to see young tamils already embittered. Some young tamils can’t share their feelings and inner lives with their parents, which creates a sad gap between them. My partner makes exactly this experience. He cannot tell his parents how much we love each other, they simply don’t care because I’m white and this way not suitable for their son (my very good high school degree is not important to them and neither that I never had another boyfriend in my live while some of your « pure » tamil girls have several boyfriends, and pretend to their parents to remain virgins until their marriage). If young tamils were all shown more the positive side of the culture  (not through force and pressure) and above all the parents showed interest in their feelings (and not rejected anything that seems to be western about it), the children would see all the beautiful things tamil culture has to offer, and this way appreciate it. And if one loves and appreciates a culture, one will continue it. Even being in an interracial relationship.

    You know, I am way more interested in tamil culture than many young tamils I know. They cannot cook tamil and do not like to go to the temple. If I was given a chance, I would love to learn how to cook tamil food, I would love to learn more about hinduism and about the history of the tamils. And I would pass that on to my future biracial children. And even if I’m never given a chance, I will still try to do my best. Why should I lead a relationship with a tamil man if I didn’t care about tamil culture? It wouldn’t make any sense. But some conservatives here do not really care about the character of a person; they just remain stubborn on their racist ideas, thinking that tamils were leading a more moral life than western people. The difference is, that the failures we make and the struggles in life that we have, they are more talked about in western society, they are visible. In tamil society, everything that comes near to failure (and for failure tamils seem to have a broader definition than the west, even the purest and unconditional love between two people can be seen as a failure) is a taboo. The only thing that you do is talking bad about other members of the tamil society (of whom do you think do not lead the life you consider good or moral), spreading rumours about their private lives in order to be distracted from your own problems.
    I hope that the second generation of tamils will talk to their parents, tell them how they feel and have the courage to lead a life, which provides them with happiness and a lot of educational experiences, realizing that their parents also make mistakes as every normal human being does. So it might be better to make one’s own mistakes, instead of repeating the ones of one’s ancestors. I will continue fighting for the love of my life, and I’m glad that I’m now at the point where I don’t care anymore if tamil society accepts our love or not. It would only make me sad and maybe as embittered as some of the commentators here are.

    PS: Please remember that I address to the conservatives and their hateful comments on this website, I don’t address to all tamils in general, because I see that there are tamils not at all conservative and welcome other cultures in their life. Everyone who is addressed here will know it when reading the text.

    PS2: I also don’t like the term “western”, I used it to make things easier. However, there are so many different cultures thrown in the same pot when talking about western culture, which is as misleading as equalizing tamil and asian.

  69. ari4983_t Non sense, the only reason western countries are good is because of your colonial history. You are only good at stealing others and nothing else. You don’t have a culture, you just live like beast. As for Tamil culture in India, we are the richest people  , due to our fantastic culture as for Sri Lanka it is a rich country , most of people had to fled because of the war. And yes it is true that there is more opportunity here in the west, because white kids are dumb , it is very easy to get good jobs here. As for White women everyone knows that they are not marriage material (  check the stats), you don’t know what is love.

  70. Feel sorry for the brotha , white women are not suitable for marriage. They have no morals they only date for money and marries for one aswell and they sleep around alot, (even after marriage). And they are highly feminists man hating bi**hes I mean white women that is.

  71. Vijia UK/Canada/ and other western countries  sucks as a country, it just takes the Tamil people who are products of a conservative, well-valued and educated society and puts them into important positions right from Microsoft to IRS, while most whites just laze away, drop out of colleges/schools. Whites  will shatter the day all these Tamils decide to leave …

  72. ari4983_t   This is disgusting… what most normal people do to determine success is not to steal from others but to work hard …  As for you criticising Tamil parents, we all know that white people don’t respect their parents.But Tamil parents are different than whites, they sacrifice everything they have for their kids.

    My partner makes exactly this experience. He cannot tell his parents how much we love each other, they simply don’t care because I’m white and this way not suitable for their son (my very good high school degree is not important to them and neither that I never had another boyfriend in my live while some of your « pure » tamil girls have several boyfriends, and pretend to their parents to remain virgins until their marriage).   Those girls are a minority they usually get caught and dumped ,as for you being educated it  won’t change anything. I am sorry  to say that but most of white people , do not have family values. Only an idiot will allow his son/daughter to marry a white person , we all know that white people end up cheating or divorcing for no reason. 

    You know, I am way more interested in tamil culture than many young tamils I know. They cannot cook tamil and do not like to go to the temple. If I was given a chance, I would love to learn how to cook tamil food, I would love to learn more about hinduism and about the history of the tamils. And I would pass that on to my future biracial children. 
    Pretty much everything you said was a grossly inaccurate generalization most of Tamils girls born in the west know what is Tamil culture.. And please we know that white women are obsessed with having mix race kids, and we also know your reputation when it comes to marriage….

  73. Seeing the comments I have to say something…. White people if you want to mix up your race fine, but don’t push your beliefs on people who don’t agree with you…Theres a good deal of white women and white men  who need to get over themselves,they are not perfect sex gods that have found each other and blazing the way for a perfect new world they are just racial fetishist acting nasty,and stop hating Tamil women women who want to date Tamil men .your already overinflated ego you are no better looking or superior than anyone…

  74. ari4983_t  You white peoples custom so take your white envious jealous ass back to the cave you ignorant moron. you whites have the most infidelity and non menogamous relationships which lead to divorce and your women go to get alimony and then go for blacks as well your white race are thieves.whites are hereditary to cancer. It is just logical to not allow interracial with white people.

  75. ari4983_t  http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1563871720561623 http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1563871720561623Mar 16, 2015
    My belief on this particular issue is not based on any fundamental objection to intermarriage between people who are of different races; I am primarily concerned about the well-being of any potential children resulting from interracial unions. Typically, the major ethnic groups in this nation do not get along well, and many parents discourage their children from bringing home an individual of another race. Familial opposition to interracial pairings often means that many mixed race children never get the opportunity to know their grandparents/extended family, and this can lead to a profound sense of alienation. Biracial children must also contend with prejudice/discrimination from people who stand at all ends of the racial divide; I remember knowing a half black/half white girl in high school who was throughly mistreated by black students and rejected by most of the white students. Due to the insurmountable social pressures faced by many mixed race kids, they often seem to suffer from deep psychological issues and often fail to find a place in any community. I wish that we lived in a world that was capable of treating all individuals equally, but unfortunately, this is not the case.

    This user know the truth, if you want to have mixed race kids , go on do it! But most of Tamils kids will treat them like sh#t , we do not accept mongrels in our community. If you want to be selfish , and torture a poor kid do it!

  76. ari4983_t  When I bet you haven’t even got a real western friend? In my (European) country there are so many tamils, and they seem to live in a parallel world, the first generation rarely has contact with non-tamils. As I’ve read in a comment, many of the tamils like the economic benefits of the western world, but that’s all. However, have you ever thought what came with our economic success? Social change! 150 years ago, western society was actually not so much different from the tamil society (regarding the basics for sure, for example arranged marriages and so on, I know that the cultures are very different). And we now don’t blame this change on the bad influences of other cultures; we realized that it came naturally when other structures changed.
    So if you want to prevent your children from the « bad western influence », you simply shouldn’t have come to live in the western world, because a parallel society will not work here, not over many generations. You don’t get your nice economic benefits for nothing. When making a decision it may also have other consequences than only the ones you would like to have. I know that the tamils fled from Sri Lanka and therefore didn’t come here deliberately, but the realization is true nonetheless and you can’t deny or change it. And this is what seems to be the source of the deeply dissatisfied minds of the many conservatives here.

    What is wrong with staying within our own community? Do not try to impose your culture on others, even English expats stay with their own community when they are abroad.Look at the economic position of the Sri Lankan Tamil community. 
    Tamil immigrants are a blessing. In Canada we are called economical immigrants for a reason.Sri Lankans Tamils families where many of them work long hours in demanding professionals tend to care more about their elderly parents and less likely to place them in old people homes. There is less divorce, less run away fathers, single mums and less children born outside wedlock.
    Doctors, property owners/developers, politicians , shopkeepers, business leaders, every single field of wealth and importance is being overrun everyday by Tamils both Canadian and Sri Lankan born.
    Chemistry – dominated by Tamils
    ICT-domainted by Tamils
    Biology – dominated by Tamils
    Physics – dominated by Tamils
    Mathematics – dominated by Tamils
    Weird that the vellakarans  with their superior IQs didn’t dominate any of these fields, isn’t it?
    Let’s see….
    Tamils
    ———-
    1. Mostly Educated with atleast masters degree.
    2. Mostly cultured and soft spoken.
    3. Mostly adaptive to other cultures.
    4. Moslty good citizens who believe in rules and regulations of their country.

    White people
    ———-
    1. Few are well educated(>10%). Rest are usually Hight school dropout.
    2. Very rude with others. Not humble at all…..forget soft spoken.
    3. Always want to impose their culture & lifestyle on others.
    4. Never follow rules & regulations. Try to fraud in tax.
    One can see who is better human being..

  77. VijiaWhy do Tamils and non whites complain about not being integrated in white, European society? It’s a waste. MOST WHITES are racist bigots. They teach it to their kids, I’ve seen it. Even liberal whites are racist. It’s NOT worth it. Just do your best to get a good education & job and make money. Why would u even want to integrate with whites or European society? Integrating with them means adopting their ways of lives, which are mostly uncultured & unclean, be it their porn, rampant divorce culture, drug abuse, or go wild party weekend lifestyle. Trust me, it’s best TO NOT INTEGRATE. Don’t lose your precious values to whites.We are better than them in every single way.

  78. Dear Chloe 
    Being a Tamilian is the greatest pride for us.
    Tamil is not what I speak,  neither it is my identity, nor it is my religion, It is me. How can i hate myself? It is who I am. That’s how all Tamils feel. This is the reason why Tamil people are fond of their language.
    Think I am speaking a language that is at least 5000 years old (I am bad with numbers) and It is like owning a 5000 year old book. That’s so sacred to me and to other Tamils. 
    We Consider our language and culture  as mother. How can one hate their mother? To Tamils, religion is  our language. Interracial will kill Tamil , which we Tamils oppose because are  have the oldest and still living civilization!

  79. ari4983_t HAHA sounds like he is just using you for fun , if he didn’t introduce you to his parents it because he does not care about you. He will probably dump you , or get an arranged marriage behind your back , and cut all contacts with you . And let’s be honest, no Tamils in their right sense, will choose their lover over their family, our culture is very different than your’s

  80. Arigo ari4983_t haven’t you read my comment? I said I don’t care if tamil society accepts my interracial relationship, and our children will not care as well. And it’s so nice to hear that you raise your kids in order to hate other people because of their parents races. That’s a great thing to do, it will for sure stop all the wars going on in the world. If only all children were raised like this!

  81. Letigre93 ari4983_t HAHA how funny that there seems to be a person who knows more about my relationship than I do. For sure I will believe a racist, misogynistic conservative and immediately break up with my boyfriend (as I already wrote in my comment, I am not at all ready for fighting for my relationship).  And it’s so nice of you to share your nice behaviour towards white women with me. For sure you should share your experiences with your wife, she will be delighted to know that you even had to use white girls (who are so stupid in every other aspect) in order to satisfy your sexual needs.

  82. Minuji ari4983_t I have no idea about tamils in Canada, I live in Europe. Also in my country tamils all work very hard, their children are well-educated. As for the fields dominated by tamils, as long as you can’t show me the statistics and prove it I don’t believe it (in natural sciences you aren’t taught to believe strangers in a comment sections of an article). And this is not meant as an offence, I absolutely believe that tamils are successful and ambitious people. 
    I don’t impose my culture on others (this would be too a though und unnecessary job for me); I said that it happens naturally that tamil culture gets influenced by ours. The difference between english expats and tamils is, that the expats often only stay on a country for some years and then move on. I think most tamils found new homes in Canada/Europe/… and many of them have been living in those countries for a longer time than they have lived in Sri Lanka. For sure they can stay within their own community, they just can’t force their children to keep on doing that. They can try, but I  personally believe that this plan will not succeed. If you have another opinion, that’s fine.

  83. Arigo ari4983_t I’m actually not really jealous of tamils. If I were a tamil girl, my parents would probably reject me as their daughter. And that’s not one of my main goals in life.

  84. AnonTamilianx ari4983_t yes, they sacrifice everything for their kids (*), but a child does need way more than just sacrifice. A child will not be happier if it hears from his father “I sacrificed everything for you”, but does not get the understanding from his parents he/she needed. This just creates feelings of guilt and the feeling of being indebted to your parents. For sure you have to be grateful, but also the parents have to be grateful to be able to have their children, who give them unconditional love from the beginning on without creating a bad conscience. I don’t care if other western people might have no family values, however I DO have family values. And if some tamil parents are so preconceived and aren’t even able to get to know a person before rendering a judgement, I can only feel pity for them. You also only seem to be keen reputations…how can you accuse me of making an inaccurate generalization, and then in the next line you talk about the REPUTATION of white women? That’s so ridiculous, I don’t know if I should laugh of cry about it. I think I’ll choose both. 

    * know they work hard and do not steal anything, it’s just about that the life standard in western countries is (until now) higher than in Sri Lanka and that is a fact from which all people somehow profit when living in a western country. I just don’t consider it nice when you like nothing else about the country you live in than this benefit. I don’t know if this is the case for you, so no need for you to be immediately affected.

  85. Vijia ari4983_t you got it right, colonialism and exploitation was/is the reason why our economical situation is good. Why is everybody keeping on telling me that? I said I have a good high school degree, I’m very aware of many things that go wrong in the world. I’m so aware of it that I realized that I’m not able to change it, since I’m not the one who decides to ship weapons to civil war areas, and so on and so on. And yes I can assure you that I live like a beast in a cave, and I also look like it (that’s why I managed to get a boyfriend). But I’m sorry you did not get that quite right with the jobs… it might easy to get a job here (especially for foreigners), since they think they can pay them a lower salary (check the stats for that). Thats stupid and racist, but sadly it happens often in my country. And if that’s not the reason, than it’s like that: European countries are afraid of spending too much money on the education, so for example in medicine, the places at university are restricted, and for this reason there is a perpetual lack of doctors, and that’s why governments like to “import” them from other countries. I also consider this method totally dumb. It’s always about the money, and that’s what goes on in every government in the world, it’s sadly not limited to the western countries (the world might be more peaceful then). 

    With your last point, I must again totally approve you, I also don’t consider myself as marriage MATERIAL, I rather think I am a human being, and for that I don’t need to check any stats. I don’t know if you can know what love is when you distinguish women between being marriage material or not. However in the end I don’t care if you do that, I’m just glad I’m not your wife (if your parents found some good marriage material for you) and I think you are glad about that, too. So now that we are both glad about something, I will stop writing here, it’s just the most beautiful ending.

  86. I am posting a new comment just to say that I am a bit shocked by what I am reading. I have rarely seen so much racism in my life actually. I understand that colonisation was horrible but still it was a long time ago! I mean if some of you hate the “west” (which btw doesn’t exist, I think that when you’re speaking of the western world you mainly refer to the US which are very very different from european countries) at this point why are you even using english? I am not critisizing your lack of knowledge of the “western world” because many westerners are not even capable of telling the difference beetwen tamil nadu and bangladesh! But still some of you are getting pretty biased ideas of the west and I think that’s a pity because racism and hate often comes from ignorance (the british people who knew how to read tamil or sanskrit soon realized that Indian people were not an inferior race). 
    As for mixed mariages no one forced the tamil man to marry a white girl! I mean if you really want to blame someone he IS the one to blame (and btw I don’t think anyone is to blame in this matter).
    I even read that : “You are only good at stealing others and nothing else. You don’t have a
    culture, you just live like beast. As for Tamil culture in India, we are
    the richest people  , due to our fantastic culture as for Sri Lanka it
    is a rich country , most of people had to fled because of the war. And
    yes it is true that there is more opportunity here in the west, because
    white kids are dumb , it is very easy to get good jobs here. As for
    White women everyone knows that they are not marriage material (  check
    the stats), you don’t know what is love.”
    I realise (or I hope) that this is not a very common opinion because it look exactly like a text writen by nazis describing the jews. It really does. I don’t know if repling to this will be of any use but still… Westerners are human beings! Some of their ancestors acted very badly but it is over okay? Nowadays their culture have evolved and is different from tamil culture but the fact that they are different doesn’t mean that they are not humans. They are not more or less intelligent than other people they’re just different from you! And, also, they indeed have no culture : they have douzens of different ones because the west is not a united nation but is made up with different countries. 

    But I have a feeling that this debate could go on and on… Keep in mind that I am not speeking of the Tamil community in general but that I am responding to some users of this website.

  87. I am posting a new comment just to say that I am a bit shocked by what I am reading. I have rarely seen so much racism in my life actually. I understand that colonisation was horrible but still it was a long time ago! I mean if some of you hate the “west” (which btw doesn’t exist, I think that when you’re speaking of the western world you mainly refer to the US which are very very different from european countries) at this point why are you even using english? I am not critisizing your lack of knowledge of the “western world” because many westerners are not even capable of telling the difference beetwen tamil nadu and bangladesh! But still some of you are getting pretty biased ideas of the west and I think that’s a pity because racism and hate often comes from ignorance (the british people who knew how to read tamil or sanskrit soon realized that Indian people were not an inferior race). 
    As for mixed mariages no one forced the tamil man to marry a white girl! I mean if you really want to blame someone he IS the one to blame (and btw I don’t think anyone is to blame in this matter).
    I even read that : “You are only good at stealing others and nothing else. You don’t have a
    culture, you just live like beast. As for Tamil culture in India, we are
    the richest people  , due to our fantastic culture as for Sri Lanka it
    is a rich country , most of people had to fled because of the war. And
    yes it is true that there is more opportunity here in the west, because
    white kids are dumb , it is very easy to get good jobs here. As for
    White women everyone knows that they are not marriage material (  check
    the stats), you don’t know what is love.”
    I realise (or I hope) that this is not a very common opinion because it look exactly like a text writen by nazis describing the jews. It really does. I don’t know if repling to this will be of any use but still… Westerners are human beings! Some of their ancestors acted very badly but it is over okay? Nowadays their culture have evolved and is different from tamil culture but the fact that they are different doesn’t mean that they are not humans. They are not more or less intelligent than other people they’re just different from you! And, also, they indeed have no culture : they have douzens of different ones because the west is not a united nation but is made up with different countries. 

    But I have a feeling that this debate could go on and on… Keep in mind that I am not speeking of the Tamil community in general but that I am responding to some users of this website.

  88. I really enjoyed reading this article! Although I never really faced some of the challenges mentioned in this article with my family, I did face some of these with my friends. I found that my husbands family were more apprehensive about accepting me that my parents were of my husband! The struggle is real folks U0001f602U0001f602

  89. It is great that your family were supportive about it though! There are not many Tamil parents who would not be so supportive, mostly due to fear of the unknown, cultural and religious differences or because of the Tamil community.

  90. Hello, I love to see this article. I can see that the french woman who is married to a tamil guy want to understand the traditions and also adjust to her husband.
    And he also to her I believe. And i read a few comments from some people. Well I am not accepting that people want to say that the tamil culture and language will disappear.
    If you are marring a white woman or man. Because I am half tamil and half europian. And I feel that me as a mixed race that I am not any different than a tamil girl who was born in Srilanka or India from that matter. I also speak tamil and know all the tamil habbits and traditions and every tamil has there own religion not every tamil is hindu. We all live in a big world and if we look at the human history we all are human and the world is for everyone. I dont believe in racism and if you believe in god we all are equal. And that white woman are not a good person to marry because its not marriage material that is just nonsence because there are a lot of tamil man and woman who are married and are not happy and only make children and are not happy in the marriage because they only got married because of there parents and there tamil community. Every person is different and if you think in a tamil way of mind, people who live in there own world and never look above the mountain are blind to there selfs and are not open to development. And in the colony time there where also alot of mixed race children in Srilanka and India for all the people who are against mixed raced tamil people and are not 100 dark also could have a ancestors from back in the days so dont fool yourself. Because we dont live in a world where people are 100% black or white. Or do you want to became adolf Hiler against the jewish people. Well that says more about you then us. I just wanted to give my opinion and i accept everyone as they are as long people wound judge each other how they look or what there background is. There are good and bad people in this world in every race. We are not anamals. Greethings Lucy

  91. Lucyrifka
    Are you serious ?   Your Hitler stole everything from us including the word “Aryan” and “Swastika”. Your racial supremacy theory was the result of inferiority complex on the minds of Germanic peoples because of them labelled by Romans and Greeks as “Barbarians”. Your ancestors were living in caves and occasionally entering neighboring states in Italy and Greece and used to loot, rape, vandalize and rob the peoples there. At the same time South Asians were in the most civilized Empires which were advanced in every field of worldly life.
    You know how Europe became a developed continent?  Sub humans belonging to the ethnicities of English, Portugese, Dutch and French who were inbred for thousands of years came to our lands did every duties of Barbarians. They created artificial famine and commited genocide.
    Study Genetics and Evolution. If humans do not mix racially and ethnically each group would become different species in the course of time. It means then people from two different groups cannot form an offspring.
    Race and Ethnicities are hundred percent scientific concepts.
    One person’s look, behaviour and intelligence are all determined by genes. Besides you are a mongrel, you cannot speak for Tamils.

  92. I NEVER BELIEVE ONE DAY I WILL GIVE TESTIMONIES ABOUT MY 
    RELATIONSHIP. IT ALL HAPPEN THIS WAY FIVE YEARS AGO, MY HUSBAND STARTED 
    CHEATING ON ME HE STOP CALLING ME, AND FIND PLEASURES IN GOING OUT WITH 
    OTHER GIRLS, ANY TIME I CALL HIM THE TWO OPTIONS IS TO BOUNCE MY CALLS 
    OR INSULT ME AND MY FAMILY. I WAS SO
    WORRIED BECAUSE I LOVE HIM SO 
    MUCH AND WE ALREADY HAVE TWO KIDS. THINGS WAS GETTING FROM BAD TO WORST,
    I WAS GETTING SICK EVERY DAY, FEEDING WAS ALSO A PROBLEM TO ME, BECAUSE
    I LOST MY APPETITE COMPLETELY, ONE DAY I MEET A FRIEND AND DISCUSS IT 
    WITH HER, SHE TOLD ME TO CONTACT (DR WELLS(, THAT HER PROBLEM WAS 
    WORSE THEN MINE, THAT ONLY (DR WELLS) CAN HELP ME WITH THIS SITUATION, 
    AND I WAS A WOMAN WHO DOSE NOT BELIEVE IN SPELL, SO THE LAST TIME I 
    CALLED MY MAN HE PICKED MY CALL, ALL I COULD HEAR FROM HIM IS TO TELL ME
    THAT HE HAS GOTTEN ANOTHER GIRL TO MARRY, AND THEY ARE IN SERIOUS 
    RELATIONSHIP. I WAS SO CONFUSE AND I CALLED MY FRIEND (ALICE WHITMAN) AND TOLD
    HER WHAT I JUST HAD FROM MY MAN. SHE STILL REMIND ME OF (DR WELL) THAT
    HE IS THE ONLY PERSON WHO CAN HELP ME SOLVED MY PROBLEM BY BRINGING MY 
    MAN BACK TO ME. SO THERE WAS NO OPTION FOR ME I TOLD HER TO SEND ME THE 
    EMAIL OF DR WELL. THAT WAS HOW I CONTACT (DR
    WELLS FOR HELP. DR WELLS ONLY TOLD ME THAT IT WILL ONLY TAKE HIM 48HOURS TO BRING MY HUSBAND BACK,TO MY GREATEST 
    SURPRISE
    IN 48HOURS TIME MY HUSBAND CAME BACK TO ME AND STARTED BEGGING FOR 
    FORGIVENESS, AND I ACCEPTED ALL HIS APOLOGIES BECAUSE I LOVE HIM SO 
    MUCH, WE ARE NOW HAPPY FAMILY AND OUR KIDS ARE HAPPY WITH US.THANK YOU 
    DR WELLS FOR YOUR GOOD WORK, I WILL CONTINUE TESTIFYING FOR YOUR GOOD 
    WORK, CONTACT HIM IF YOU NEED HIS HELP IN ANYTHING BOTH RELATION AND 
    OUTSIDE RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS EMAIL ADDRESS. S or
    once again thanks. S
    1. He can help you cast a spell to get pregnant.
    2. He can help you cast a Promotion spell.
    3. He can help you cast Lottery spell.
    4. Spell of luck.
    5.he can help you cure any kind of sickness

  93. It is these so-called “subhuman barbarians” who’ve let in hundreds of thousands of Tamils into their countries, who’d otherwise be victims to the racist policies of the Sinhalese government. Contrast the liberal Western policies such as multiculturalism which allows Tamils to preserve their cultures with the Asiatic conservatism of the Sinhalese which demands assimilation or subjugation to the majority. The insane racism and general nonsense contained within your comment would make a Nazi blush and make the wildest Afrocentric theories look respectable and intelligent such is your absurdity. The Tamils.owe an enormous amount to outsiders, especially.the Wesleyan American missionaries who were largely responsible for the academic culture among the Tamils.

  94. Tamils have been mixing with outsiders from time immemorial. In the case of Europeans, the large mestizo population of the Northern province attests to the considerable miscegenation that occurred between the Tamils and the Dutch and Portuguese. The Dutch patriot Quint Ondaatje was the son of a Tamil minister and his Dutch wife from Amsterdam, Hermina Quint. One of his great uncles visited Hollanv and married a Dutch lady, Adriana Cordenoort. Moving into British times, the most prominent Tamils of their time were married to Western women. the first Tamil barrister, Henry Francis Muttukistna, was married to an English lady, the daughter of Reginald Pole. Sir Muttu Coomaraswamy was married to an Englishwoman, Elizabeth Beeby, P Ramanathan was married to the Australian R L Harrison, SCK Rutnam was married to Dr Mary Irwin, and the list goes on and on.

  95. And who invented the university system and the university degrees of which Tamils are so proud? Hmm…let me see….white people! Who invented the tech which has enabled you to peddle such bovine faeces? White people! Quit defecating.

  96. Most of you idiots are too poor to have ever met the real upper caste, stunningTamil  girls. If only you had passports and connections, 
    Hell, if only half of you went to a respectable college, you’d at least have already gotten to meet some of the elites.

    So… when will you ever get to meet these beauties? You won’t, plain and simple. It’s not about being white or ripped and your ability to spout *slooooooot* while pounding your chest, it’s about your lineage. Who are your parents–and your grandparents– as well as greatgreatgreat (ad infinitum) grandparents, for that matter? What are their ethnicity and religion? Where were they educated? Could they all speak lawyers’ english? Do your family members resemble commoners in aesthetics i.e. in appearance and style? Meaning, do you all look like common small town, burger munching deadbeat American tourists who can’t pronounce Eelam?

    This is the harsh reality: they do not waste time being around status-lowering embarrassments, hence the very tight knit, low profile (at least in your world) circles. Somewhat similar to Persian Jews in LA barring sexual proclivities: White men are seen as dirty and common, whereas other Tamils ones are exotic. Black guys are seen as an abomination. Arabs are a no go, unless he’s an educated, bourgeois Lebanese Christian/agnostic. That being said, in terms of outsiders, it’s usually Jews with pedigree who are first in line. To the rest: don’t bother. Go back to your lotion and nude spread of the day.

    As for this ‘stench myth’… look, a simple google search for STD statistics over the course of history would immediately point you to the real cradle of disease and sewage odour. Or have you gotten that used to the smell of your forever alone? The Arabs and Indians invented soap, while Europe had to rely on perfume and wigs to cover the stench of 1 month’s worth of shared bathwater per family.

  97. RijcklofVanGoens Colonial rapes doesn’t count, interracial is seen as bestiality in our community.

  98. RijcklofVanGoens But the only reason we moved to your country is because your people started the war…We were living peace before you came and loot/rape and kill our people.And please stop glorifying colonial rape…We would have been living in peace if you bloody Europeans never landed in our beautiful Island.

  99. Lucyrifka  ‘And in the colony time there where also alot of mixed race children in Srilanka and India ‘  

    Yes those children were the product of rape…..
    Firstly most of Tamils in Sri Lanka are 100%, the only mixed race Tamils we have are the product of rape done by Europeans and Sinhalese people.People like you who mix have problems, its easy for them to hide behind political correctness but ultimately its nonsense and doesnt apply to the real world and when they have kids they essentially throw them under a bus and hope they deal with it somehow. 
    when they teach mixed kids that race is worthless, so worthless in fact that anyone who does value what they are Must inherently be racist… they immediately trap those kids into looking at people of a particular race who have issues as their parents did…as being “normal”. they force their kids to dip into a small pool of broken people. and those mixed kids in turn help perpetrate the idea that the only ‘problem’ with race mixing would be good old fashioned racism, rather than viewing interacial mixing as a social itself in and of itself.
    You are a product of a mixed parents, you have no identity  , you cannot speak Tamil or even understand our culture so please refer yourself as ‘mixed race’ instead of tarnishing our race and identity. As for most of Tamil people they have happy married life unlike white people who divorce/cheat on their wife , half of your kids doesn’t know who their father is…. Most of them end up  in jail for drug /rape and murder offenses, furthermore most of white mothers are well know for being drug addicts and alcoholics please look at your house first before poiting your finger at others.Because in our community we still have our familly values intact, unlike with white famillies…..

  100. Our people still think that Whies are our rulers. History books dont
    tell the atrocities of these WHITES in our class rooms.
    Britain/Germany and Portugal  are the   main criminals in every trouble in their former slaves countries.The fun is these white criminals preach on HUMAN RIGHTS while
    they are the worst imperial criminal on this world.
    When british took over our country the country to British land robbers – their empire consists of meek.

    There was exemplary harmony and camaraderie between Sinhala and Tamils.
    The sinhalese leaders knew Tamil. Ehelapola signed agreement in both Sinhala and Tamil.

    Even today the countrie’s elegant pagent -the procession of the
    tooth relic- is a display of Buddhist and Hindu religious culture.
    All the Hindu temples in Kandy area were participating in the
    procession. Though these temples were now manned by Sinhalese due
    machination of the British and their local lap dogs like the said
    British HC, early days they were conducted Hindu priests came from India  with the various Indian Tamil and Malayali princesses who were married to the Sinhala kings and other aristocrats.

    It is the distruction of this harmony that was master-minded by
    British other Europeans and their lap dogs that contimues to this day. These are the true history never told to us by any body.
    European invasion had a far more devastating effect on our country, much more than what is depicted by the colonial and converted slaves  of our country. White people invaded every single Tamil nations (India/Sri Lanka and many others do not trust them they are the product of criminals having one in your familly will result in bad karma).

  101. I used to be very anti-interracial marriage till I started dating outside of race. Surprisingly I find white woman lot more humble and down to earth than brown girls. Like you have a more pleasant dating experience versus going out with some obnoxious, cliquish tamil girls.

  102. Well what can we say. European girls always fall for us Sri Lankan-Canadian men’s charm. There should be more interracial marriages between Sri Lankan Canadian men and Caucassian European & Canadian women.

  103. Well Ipoh Ramasamy, interracial marriages are now the norm in Canadian society.

  104. LOL. I wrote the comment to piss off Brown girls. Interracial dating is complicated by brown stereotypes. I just feel that brown girls have to tone that princess complex and put themselves out there. Would do good. Anyway interracial marriage requires work and its far easier to just go for your own ethnicity than date outside. But personally, I just feel brown girls are obnoxious in an attempt to thwart “creeps” and just come off as someone pompous. Dating is difficult as it is. Just treat others like the way you want to be treated.

  105. Proud to be a TamilU0001f600but I look within and find that to embrace humanity irrespective of racial and cultural differences is more gratifying.

  106. I guess second or third generation migrants don’t mind inter racial marriages. I am myself a second generation migrants and I have no problem what so ever about inter racial couple and my husband is the first generation migrant, and he can’t fathom the idea that our children might end up marrying a white person ( irrespective of their nationality) even though the perfectly Tamil speaking German woman is his cousins wife- he believes not all white women will be able to melt in like she did since she can not only speak the language, but also cook the food and know all the grandmas cures that exists in our society. U0001f60a

  107. I think it’s a human thing. It comes down to trust and what impact you would have on the extended family and/or the village/clan. Unless living in a small town the impact on the surrounding society is not as impactful. 

    Depending on how close knit the family is, the family worries about an impact on family unity. 

    I guess ultimately parents want their children to be happy and yet still remain a part of the family  which means extended family including parents not husband, wife and kids. 

    The western concept of a nuclear family, increasingly adopted by Indians is me, the wife and kids. I think ultimately from my Indian, Hindu,  parents perspective the questions to address would be the following – no one has to agree or disagree…. if it impacts my family including kids – no one else’s opinion is relevant. 

    1. How serious are the two people getting married? Are they committed. 

    2. What impact will there be on the children when they grow up…. next generation. 

    3. Will my grandchildren be allowed to value, respect and adopt/understand our culture and religion? If the person marrying into the family is from an exclusivist faith – do I want my grand kids to tell me we pray to a ‘false’ God? 

    4. Is the person marrying into the family suddenly going to get extreme over religion and worry about going to heaven – causing a convert or divorce decision to happen and how will it impact our grand children. 

    5. Is the person marrying into the family adaptable? smart and capable? 

    6. Is this person going to cause a rift and are we going to lose our son/daughter? 

    It’s a human thing and perhaps other people of different nationalities will relate. 

    I have heard people say that ‘Indians’ discriminate when it comes to life partners for their kids. Darn right we do, and so does every other nationality. 

    To discriminate between what one values and one does not is not a crime but depending on the circumstances the smart think to do. 

    “in the west you “fall” in love, and in the East we “grow”  in love”  – The truth is in the middle depending on circumstances. 

    Ultimately, there has to be a middle way between the traditional mindset which considers
    marriages from a dispassionate perspective where love will grow and a “looking for my soul-mate” where all is just roses and champage and no challenges in the relationship can happen if it’s “perfect”. 

    short answer – no fundamentalists who are more focused on heaven than earth. The next world will take care of itself if people are good right now and right here. 

    Millenials are supposedly not as religious but to someone who’s been looking at patterns – if their background predisposes them to suddenly get religion, and an exclusivist mindset – your child may have to divorce or convert. 

    If someone loves you, they shouldn’t need to ask you to convert. If they do – they don’t really love you or respect what you value and believe.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

More In Life