Double Standards… Say What Now?

doublestandards

Well girls – listen tight, sit comfortably and get your reading glasses on. What I am about to tell you will either shock you or you’ll be agreeing with me so much that you’ll be gasping for air. And boys – some of you are probably going to hate me for writing this, but it’s time that someone set you straight. Remember throughout this article I say boys but I actually mean “some boys”, so please don’t bombard the comments section.

When you get to your mid-to-late 20s as a girl (not all girls but some), you start to think about the future and think “Hey, I think I want to settle down with a nice boy.” So you start looking. And as you put more effort into your appearance (M.A.C lipstick and all), you think “Ah this is easy. I am a nice decent girl. Any guy would be lucky to have me.” You become more open-minded to meeting new people and this is where you learn the most.

The above reflects me. Unfortunately, I’ve also met several individuals from the male species who have surprised me with their logic of something the cool kids nowadays call “double standards”.

What are “double standards” you ask? As Urban Dictionary puts it, it is “when a situation is desirable for one group but deplorable for another.” In the case of our Tamil boys, it’s “Enjoy now, settle later. But when it comes to marriage the girl has to be a virgin.”

You might think where is the logic in all this? Well you can look all you like because you won’t find it.

As a Tamil, you might understand that virginity is important to a girl. Our back home mentality would say that kudumba maanam is hung up on a daughter’s virginity. As much as I am a huge fan of our culture and traditions, boys listen carefully: we don’t live back home anymore and it’s the 21st century. We are surrounded by people who don’t believe in the same things we do. It’s only natural for people to adapt, especially when they are into the 3rd or 4th generations after their parents moved here.

So boys let me get this straight. It’s completely acceptable for you to drink, smoke, have sex, gamble and other shenanigans. But none of the above are allowed to be done by your so-called future wife. I don’t know girls, if you ask me that makes total sense(!)

If you sleep with Tamil girls who you say the right things to and make them feel great and then leave – when it comes to marriage, trust me brother you won’t have anyone left. And to be honest, that serves you right. The saddest part is you would think boys with sisters, female cousins and girl mates would understand this. But you would be surprised.

If a girl wants to have sex, she will. That’s her right and her body. That doesn’t define her personality. I personally believe in sex after marriage not because of all of the above, but because I want it to be with that one person. And you might think I’m totally crazy, but I want my future husband to be the same. It is logical that I can expect that. If I can wait, someone out there can too!

To conclude, girls – this is where you have to spread the message and beware of these little fellas who probably don’t deserve you. They could tick all the boxes. But if that one box – “Could you imagine him being the father of your daughter or son” – isn’t ticked, you’ve got your answer.

Boys, this wasn’t an attack on your species – just advice that maybe you need to change your mindset a little and be a bit more open-minded. If you want to marry a virgin then be one. But don’t shut someone down just because they aren’t.

Hope you enjoyed this not so little article.

Love,

Your typical girl next door.

Disclaimer: All this is obviously my opinion, and if I mentioned anything above that hurt anyone’s feelings it wasn’t my intention to do so.

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Related articles:

An Open Letter to Young Tamil Men
The Good Girl Complex
My Love Affair with Tamil Men

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65 thoughts on “Double Standards… Say What Now?

  1. Probably would have been just as effective to correctly refer to males as a “sex” and not a “species” (why alienate them even more), nonetheless the point stands and I agree!

  2. Girls are not like Chewing gum and Life is Not about SEX.
    Only The best in The World is expansive, dezent, honourable, best Quality!!!
    Of course, sad to say but not all can belong to this category. Only those who are blessed by God to live a honourable Life and Not The Life like a dog!
    Our parents got Early married because they didnt have other facilities.
    Their only hope was children.
    But today dont misuse this Progress of Time to be Not a Virgin.
    For me… All The virgins are DIAMANT and good behavior Boys a Gift from God.
    Passion fades always, beauty fades away, Lust is a sickness!
    But to spend The night, only with his wife is called… LOVE.

  3. I’m a Sri Lankan Hindu born in France ,and in my culture we do not believe in pre marital sex,in my familly no one had pre marital sex ,same for my Sri lankan hindu friends,I do know other hindu’s who do not believe in pre marital sex as well,it’s part of hindu culture.
    I’m not going to have sex with someone that I’m not going to spend the rest of my life with. But that’s just how I was raised, different people have different values. I think sex is not just sleeping with someone it has to be special, intimate. It may not be perfect(first times generally aren’t) but it’s with the right person.
    My parents stressed on education a lot when I was growing up and I think it did me good.
    I prefer to keep my self pure for my future wife.
    It’s our culture to save ourselves for our husband/wives
    The majority of hindu women same to keep their virginities
    My sisters are very beautiful and attractive. They are all still virgins
    i’m proud of all asian people who migrate but try their best to preserve their culture… and not imitate americans or british etc
    I am very proud of my sisters… that they are decent, respectable… and they keep their chastity and purity until they have their husbands.
    Do you think i would feel good if my sisters married a man who is unclean ? Who gave himself to other women before marriage ?
    Tamils are morally scrupulous, save themselves for marriage, understand the proper relation between men and women, understand courtship practices, and participate in arranged marriages. Western people, conversely, just sleep around, get married and divorced – in short they don’t take relationships seriously. So there is this perception that may have need to be negotiated.
    The best thing about Tamil culture is that both men and women preserve themselves and stay virgins for their future partner.. whom they are yet to meet…and probably years after. They lose virginity to their partner only and stay together forever. Remaining virgin is a choice. A choice made to show the ultimate love and respect for their future partner… regardless of how he/she looks, does, where they come from, what they do etc… This is also ultimate self control. If you can control yourself and remain virgin till you get married then you will find it easier to be with the one you are married to. Simple logic. Applied by both men and women.
    For you, sex is just a physical contact which fulfilling your body needs. but for us sex is love. its a bond between the life partners. we want to be special for particular person whoever she may be.
    If virginity is not makes the girl/guy special then what makes the girl special for you?
    if your answer is heart means, are you sure your wife loving you only for entire life after moving for some other.?
    Sex matters… since sex tells you how one can be close enough to a person… having sex with multiple partners / having had sex with multiple partners means thats… One can be close to so many people which disqualifies them for monogamy relationships.
    in your point of view even if a girl says to her husband that she had sex before marriage, her husband who has been upholding virtues taught to him should to say to her Its ok?? i think that might not be possible here !!! because we people here are not like westeners !!
    ‘How many Tamil girls have sex before marriage ?
    The answer varies depends on her IQ , if its easy to trick women into having sex then they will have a lot of sex and blame their stupidity on Beta Provider .
    See “Getting used by men is not a cheap mentality” but Marrying a virgin is “Cheap mentality”
    You are suppose to Judge
    see Low IQ leads to lower Impulse Control and sex before marriage , I mean Girls marry at age of 25-30 if she is not a virgin then what does it mean ? she is stupid , she gives away her vagina like that . Stop giving respect to these , and stop asking for their approval. It was your own fault for being cheated.
    People are so obsessed with following Western Culture. With time they are slowly but steadily becoming from bad to worse. The mass acceptance of evil concepts are becoming so ingrained in them that those evils have lost their identity as evils now. The yardstick for gauging good and bad is slowly getting lost till we will reach a point when no bad things will be considered bad and no good things will be praised.
    Its not just about virginity.. i think we will have problems regarding their past love affairs even if it didnt result into sex.. its not just about us, nobody would want to hear about their parents sexual adventures either.. when we think about our parents we would feel uncomfortable about their first love, second love or third love..
    Same way, if a man has premarital sex, I expect him to be upfront with any girl/woman who is his prospective wife. I do not want a non-virgin man to marry a virgin girl.
    By repeating my words, I hope people get my message drilled into their heads.
    I prefer non-virgins to marry only non-virgins; but once they marry, I want them to be totally monogamous, fully committed to their partners… 100%… until one of them dies. Their colourful pasts should not matter one bit.
    I just hate hypocrisy and deceit and I want to see people open, honest and fair with others as well as with themselves.Please be honest with your future husband not many tamils accept use goods.

  4. I am a virgin Tamil guy and so I want a virgin girl. My future wife will face torture from me if she had sex before marriage. Non-virgin girls should never play with the feelings of virgin boys and they should always tell their life partners about their virginity before marriage.Today there are many murders and crimes because of cheating in marriages. You guys must be aware of that. When a husband/wife finds out about the extra marital affairs then he/she kills his/her life partner along with the other person involved. Such crimes were not present in those days when men and women were virgin before marriage. But since both men and women are losing their morals and virginity the crimes and murders are increasing…
    I am not dogmatic, orthodox or anything but I am just logical believer in principles and values. Not a blind follower of western culture which will hardly teach you any values and principles except blatant capitalism and pleasure driven lifestyle.
    Mind you our culture and tradition is known in the world by its spirituality and values. Of course there are some bad deviations but in its pure form it is highly appreciable.
    Those who preach and advocate pleasure and materialism are blinded by their mind for that. They will find all the arguments and excuses for fulfilling their temptations.
    A women should not be used for Sex only. She is a human just like men, she is your mother, your sister and one day when you grow up she becomes your wife and the mother of your children. Respect for women because without them we wont be here. We don’t grow up in eggs. We grow up in women
    Remember the good things in life are always difficult to do while the bad things are easy. Refraining from sex is difficult while doing it is far easy.Being honest is difficult, lying is easy and hence forth.

  5. Sean Akka we know that you lost you virginity to some guy and know you want everyone to be like you but you won’t fool us….
    Are you trying to tell me that all girls in Sri Lanka who are chaste and cultured are village simpletons ? Sorry…many of my cousins are physicians/engineers etc and still live a very cultured life because they have been brought up to regard their husbands and their families as sacred. They wouldn’t even think of dating a man before marriage, and by the time they are in their late 20’s they are likely to well settled with loving husbands who respect them and care for them (unlike the bitter ABCD women who spread their legs before marriage, and then get nasty and cynical in their late 20s wondering why Tamil men don’t like them).I
    Many people highly criticize virgins by telling them you are narrow-minded. But in reality, it is a excuse to be promiscous.
    Faith cannot be done on a partner who has promiscuous past and neither i can create any emotion for her.
    Will you mary a girl who has AIDS, just to get marital status and survive in the society ?
    Their new meaning of love is s*x.
    Just look at the behaviour of her mother because if mother is characterless then her daughter will be the same..Trust me you don’t want to procreate with such devils .
    Living with a non-virgin is like silently killing myself, my emotional health will suffer a lot. So i will prefer to stay “HAPPY” virgin than to “”SUFFER” my whole life with a non-virgin.
    I an’t live with a non-virgin girl… i will prefer to die happy virgin than to marry a loose character girl.
    And if i need physical satisfaction, I can pay for s*x with pros without any commitment….so why marry a non-virgin because there is not much difference between a pros & non-virgin girl.
    If i didn’t found hymen and she did not bleed, she will be out of my house & life on the wedding day itself.
    An unchaste or characterless girl will not stay even a single day in my house. Tamil culture has taught us that celibacy until marriage is the best.
    Westernized Tamils if you want to sleep around, stay unmarried and do whatever the heck you want, but stay away from marriage. don’t defile the marriage bed and then get married. stay away from it altogether. marriage is for people who have integrity, it has no place for hedonistic hoes. the west have done a fantastic job of ruining marriage and family values and look where its gotten them- an entire economy has been shattered
    Most of the Tamil unmarried girls are 30+ and probably were not serious about their virginity when they lost it. Now they have to compete with their much younger counterparts in the marriage market who have the advantage of their virginity. Their only hope now is to make videos like this to underplay the importance of virginity. In most conservative societies virginity is associated with chastity and commitment. Not to say that a non-virgin has a loose character but definitely that person prefers sexual pleasures more than moral commitments and therefore such persons are less likely to stay committed in long relationships such as marriages. Our culture taught us to control our Lust and many other negative things. MAN and WOMEN both should be VIRGIN otherwise they should not get offended when society doesn’t accept it.
    Sorry but this is the harsh truth

  6. Unchaste girls are for community.
    Virgins are for husbands.
    The marriage certainly brings a man and a woman together, they know each other carnally (s*xually),the love between them deepens, arrival of children further strengthens strong emotional bonds between them and the whole family. But what is more, much more, and not usually spoken about is the fact that there is much deeper joy, bliss, contentment, peace, confidence that make human life really full of happiness. Virginity may well be lost before the marriage in many cases, yet the man and the woman can come together emotionally and then enter into marriage bond. In the earlier times of greater social purity and in absense of rampant promiscuity today, virgins (boys and girls) may certainly be rare finds, but that does not at all cancel out the possibility of good, happy and blissful married life. As for s*xual pleasure, it happens in one`s brain/mind and it is not at all physical. It is the best when it is in the mind. When one is aware of its physicality, the joy is already reduced. When this process begins and grows, perversions can come in. What we see today is that perversion in our young boys and girls. The promiscuity enables frequent change of partners which leads to reducing the s*x to purely physical. It is impossible to convince the youth today but it is still the truth that we need to go back to our social behaviour a hundred or atleast 70 years ago, for a fuller life, bliss. The alternative is pure chaos and a jugle, animal culture.
    If she losed her virginity and ditched by her bf, so she thinks s*x is love, then the product is below standard and i will not buy it.
    She could also have been fallen in love without s*x, but this is not the case, she feeled extreme urge physically and shared her bed with her bf. I don’t respect such a girl who can’t control her urge and can share her bed with anyone just to satisfy her physical need.”
    I definitely respect women who are chaste, intelligent, and cultured. I don’t respect those, “hymenally challenged” ones who spread their legs before marriage….why should I ? In regards to my so-called double standards, well…let’s just say that men and woman are fundamentally different in that men are born with the ability to inseminate virtually unlimited women, while women can only support being pregnant once a year. Thus, monogamy makes sense for women (and for men in marriages), but for unmarried men, having multiple sex partners isn’t such a big deal. I know that may sound unfair, but don’t yell at me…go scream at god or something. Also…no amount of social activism can change this fact that men are programmed for having multiple partners, while women are not. Call it “double standards” or call it “sexist” or whatever….you can give it any label you want…I just call it nature
    A virgin girl is clean of disease, and she’s always going to remember her first as her first. They make the best marriage material .Sex will be within our marriage, and we’d have a lifetime of exploration with each other. I personally feel that Tamil men love women more when they have saved themselves for their hushand and vice versa. I think it is.men feel more respect for and have sincere tenderness toward a virgin.i guess it has something to do with the pure incecents that men see when we look at a virgin. Virgins on both sides is best
    As for non virgin Tamil females, They’re damaged goods, Why should a Tamil man marry a girl who has had multiple penis’s inserted into her mouth, vagina and anus. Every Tamil man deserves a virgin. Non virgins are infested with every sort of sexually transmitted diseases and they are not marriage mariterial ,yet we all must be nice to them but we will never consider marrying them.
    Tamil guys – even educated guys who grew up in Canada – are very judgmental about a girl’s past. Even today, Tamil men have different standards for whom they’ll casually date and whom they’ll marry. And a Tamil girl who has had several boyfriends or sexual partners will not be viewed as marriage material. Tamil men won’t settle for what they perceive as “used goods” with baggage from past relationships. While this double standard may seem unfair to the ladies, it is still the reality in our community.Tamil guys today can’ go “back home” to marry a virgin bride as our uncles and older cousins did. A Tamil man with a professional job has plenty of options unlike girls even in our old age we can get married to young virgin females.
    I find tamil women in Canada to be full of testosterone., they don’t have that beauty that the girls back home have due to being westernised ….A wife has to be kind, intelligent, pleasant, AND respectable. I couldn’t respect a woman as a wife if she wasn’t a virgin.
    Tamil guys – even educated guys who grew up in Europe – are very judgmental about a girl’s past. Even today, Tamil men have different standards for whom they’ll casually date and whom they’ll marry. And a Tamil girl who has had several boyfriends or sexual partners will not be viewed as marriage material. Tamil men won’t settle for what they perceive as “used goods” with baggage from past relationships. While this double standard may seem unfair to the ladies, it is still the reality in our community.
    You don’t often see cultural Tamil Hindu in Sri Lanka girls slooting it up, hanging out in clubs, being a mess etc…Normally raised in a strict home with moral values. they are more spiritual. most of them smarter than your average insta/fb/twitter selfie addict.
    Gonna be my next wifey! Well Tamil to be precise but close enough! Sick of the Bullchit with western women and their fuarked up drama. Also at my age the best I am gonna do in this society is a 28-40 year old milf sloot with about 3 kids. With an Tamil bride from the actual country I can get a young hot looking VIRGIN honey between the ages of 18-21. , Sex whenever I want, clean house, cooked food, no being questioned about my whereabouts when I get home. The perfect deal. Only a fool would turn down something like that!
    Most of Tamil marriages in the west fail because either spouse, usually the girl, has had a sexual experience before meeting her husband. The result is divorce in less than 10 years – very painful. At all costs, maintain your purity untill married, that way your set for life. MEN- never marry a girl who isn’t a virgin. A girl will always be loyal to the man who takes her virginity. Don’t worry you’ll have 50 years of sex to get all the experience you want. VIRGINITY = SMART+ HAPPINESS+ NO DIVORCE. All divorced couples had sex before they were married – that’s a fact.

  7. From Priya Shan:the rationalization hamster is an analogy for the thought processes used by women to turn bad behavior and bad decisions into acceptable ones to herself and her friends. When a woman makes a bad decision, the hamster spins in its wheel (the woman’s thinking) and creates some type of acceptable reasons for that bad decision. The crazier the decision, the faster the hamster must spin in order to successfully rationalize away the insanity
    I simply can’t offer better examples than The Anonymous Man’s post does, so I encourage you to read it for more examples. Here are a couple of the most common:
    Here are a couple of the most common:
    Bad Decision:
    “I’m going out and getting drunk with my friends.”
    Resulting Consequences:
    Drunken and unsatisfactory hookup sex with a stranger.
    Hamster Processing Result:
    “I was drunk and he took advantage of me or maybe even raped me! Maybe it was a date rape drug!”
    Final Result:
    “It’s not my fault.”
    The emphasis in this example being that the sex was in fact consensual (although alcohol was involved), but the woman justifies it (rationalises it… with her hamster) to get over the guilt associated with making a bad decision.
    Bad Decision:
    “I deserve only the most attractive and successful man despite the fact that I don’t have much to offer in the context of dating and relationships.”
    Resulting Consequences:
    Can’t find any man for dating or a relationship or only has one-night stands.
    Hamster Processing Result:
    “There are no good men” or “Men suck”
    Final Result:
    “It’s not my fault.”
    Viewed within the context of the Red Pill, the Rationalisation Hamster can be recognised in many places.

  8. Thamizhan  
    Now, lets see…the first part of your sentence is correct, why should a man limit himself to one ? Now the second half is dead wrong…for us Tamils, we always have our beautiful chaste Tamil girls (with the possible exception of girls from the metro areas who, due to their attitude problems and inferiority complex regarding the west, are having pre-marital sex). Playas should always look towards the homeland when it comes to finding a wife, so that we can avoid the dumb girls (who tend to be studying crap like marketing, sociology, psychology, accounting etc at college) who give away their virginity so easily
    Man…I totally agree with you on the virgin issue…. My friends have   been having sex with women since i was a senior in high school…and ithey ;ve had Tamils, blondes, redheads, punjabis, kashmiris, and even a nasty ass gujarati (yuck !!). But when it comes marriage time  they all went  going to Sri Lanka to  their family villages. And picking up a pretty virgin girls who they  can respect. I think one of the reasons  Tamil women back home are better wives than Tamil western Is that they look on their husbands as lords and wouldn’t even think of another man. Thats why they are so lovely. I could probably love an innocent Tamil girl much much more than some westernised Tamil girl.  Non virgins for fun , virgins for settling .

  9. Anyone who engages in that kind of behavior is a hypocrite. They’re passing judgment on others for their sexual choices while pretending to be open-minded.
    If you don’t want to save yourself for marriage, don’t do it. But if you push your views on others who disagree, then you’re no better than Rajapaksa.

  10. Hi Guest contributor
    Here is my view for the umpteenth time. I am Canadian born, and I do indeed like CERTAIN parts of the Canadian lifestyle, mainly the Economic aspect. No doubt, when it comes to the prosperity, Canada is #1. Canadian Tamil women are fine for sexual enjoyment and can be great friends (for sex and otherwise), but do not suit my idea of marriage (which includes a chaste girl). So, I feel that it is in the self-interest of Tamil men in Canada to seek out a chaste girls from Sri Lanka. Of course, many Tamils in Canada are very much assimilated and do not mind having a non-virgin wife (i’ve heard many even prefer that). I want a virgin wife and thus I will be getting one from Sri Lanka when marriage time comes. Till then, I will use my extensive knowledge of Relational databases, and Tamil thought to charm Uni girls into my bed 😉
    “In regards to my so-called double standards, well…let’s just say that men and woman are fundamentally different in that men are born with the ability to inseminate virtually unlimited women, while women can only support being pregnant once a year. Thus, monogamy makes sense for women (and for men in marriages), but for unmarried men, having multiple sex partners isn’t such a big deal. I know that may sound unfair, but don’t yell at me…go scream at god or something. Also…no amount of social activism can change this fact that men are programmed for having multiple partners, while women are not. Call it “double standards” or call it “sexist” or whatever….you can give it any label you want…I just call it nature”
    The way we think is the RIGHT way. A woman should remain a virgin until she is married. We know it is sexist and unfair. But life is frikkin’ unfair. Men and women are different in many ways, sex is just another one of them.
    If a man screws around, it is considered normal or even cool. A man can brag to his friends about how many women he’s had and nobody will care. Look at the late-great NBA player,Wilt Chamberlain (RIP). He claimed to have slept with over 20,000 women.
    Now think if a female athlete would come out and say she has slept with over 20,000 men. Would people still respect her?? Hell no!
    There is a huge difference in men and womens’ virginity- whether you admit it or not.

  11. i agree to all what u hv said..except ur beautiful sisters…r u sure…i knw sri lankan tamil women look like crap..except mayb on their Wedding day…totally different…so fake!

  12. Some things do not change with culture, time, or location. This is one of them. Women do not have reason or accountability. Trying to hold them accountable by using reason is like trying to use a dog’s wings to teach is to fly…they don’t have wings, so will never fly. It doesn’t matter how hard you try to reason with women, it does about as much good as trying to please or placate to them…nothing. They don’t understand reason, they understand what they want and how they feel. They don’t understand accountability, they understand they didn’t get what they wanted and how to blame someone else for it (or how to blame something if they can’t find someone).
    Can a Tamil woman go to Sri Lanka and marry a young virgin Tamil guy? No but we can! God made us better and we will make full use it . It’s ok to have fun with a girl but for settling the virgin girls make the best mothers and wifes.. I may put a noose around your neck but never a “Thaali Kodi”.
    Here is a simple analogy for you overzealous Tamil feminists to ponder over. A man can walk down a street with his shirt off, bare chested. Can you women do that? Can you do that in front of your Dad? Mom? Brother? I can. You can’t. Deal with it. A woman can’t live without a men but we can.

  13. I have never seen a marriage end in divorce where the two people were virgin before marriage.
    All these claims by Ghandarva and other du*b people that virgins leave your after marriage and that there is no stability in your marriage if you marry a virgin is all FALSE.
    Marrying a virgin is like marrying someone who had the patience, will-power and dedication to wait till marriage. Marrying a non-virgin girl is like marrying someone who may have std’s , someone else’s kid, secret abortion, and is more likely to cheat even after marriage.
    People who say that you wont get any girls with that attitude are just stupid.
    Trust me there are alot of virgins out there so go get one.
    men don’t want to marry lefts overs
    Like that other dude said :A girl will always be loyal to the man who takes her virginity. Don’t worry you’ll have 50 years of sex to get all the experience you want. VIRGINITY = SMART+ HAPPINESS+ NO DIVORCE. All divorced couples had sex before they were married – that’s a fact.

  14. I have Tamil friends that have sex with a number of women of all races. t. But, in the end they still prefer marrying a virgin just because they think they are better than sexually active women because they never had sex with a virgin before .I’m not going to have sex untll I get marriedbut I think that every educated Tamil men deserve at least one virgin in lifetime.We have the background and we should make full use of it , we are not white people to marry leftovers blessed Tamil culture.
    Talking about double standars why can’t boys have a samechi vithu or a 21st celebration? That’s life girls should accept that there are advantage and disadvantage of being Tamill.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ixqBKgNQpH0

  15. I have Tamil friends that have sex with a number of women of all races. t. But, in the end they still prefer marrying a virgin just because they think they are better than sexually active women because they never had sex with a virgin before .I’m not going to have sex untll I get marriedbut I think that every educated Tamil men deserve at least one virgin in lifetime.We have the background and we should make full use of it , we are not white people to marry leftovers out of choice ,bless Tamil culture.
    Talking about double standars.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ixqBKgNQpH0

  16. In this market of “supply and demand”, it may be true that at the end of the day, there is more demand for virgin girls.I think virginity is a personal issue, and sexual preference does not make a person good or bad. There are far more qualities which are more important to consider in selecting spouse than to worry about sexual preference.
    I’ll tell you why that most of Tamil men prefer virgins. Virgins are more innocent and faithfull they know the meaning of monogamy. Marrying a non virgin Tamil girls is dangerous because she is most likely to cheat on you after marriage (trust me i’ve seen it by my own eyes),or divorce you and claim 50% of your wealth .I don’t care how much she is educated or wealthy..A virgin wife will always be better than the non virgin.
    Virginity for the female is given more importance than that for the male (although it is admirable for the male too) because the act of sexual penetration is done to the female. Also, women are evolutionaraily suited towards monogamy and committment. They produce limited ovum for a limited time. Men on the other hand are producing sperm into their 70s and 80s. Men can attract younger women even in their 60s with silver hair making them look sexy, but women past 40 tend to have NO luck attracting men because they get old and saggy.
    Women are innately more emotional regarding sex than men, and intercourse with multiple partners leaves them with emotional scars whereas for men, multiple partners infuses them with a sense of virility.
    The above is ESPECIALLY true for Tamils. So, to all my fellow western Tamil males: Enjoy good, safe sex with the westernized Tamil women who are pretty good at intercourse while young and in College. Once marriage time comes, have your parents find you a pretty, virginal bride from Sri Lanka. You can teach her the ropes and have a good clean married life. Yes I agree with you 100% about the competition with other men in her life that is the reason when i want to get married i am going to ensure she is a virgin even if it takes a medical exam of my prospective wife. Come on, if she is a virgin she has nothing to hide and so would her parents ..I guess. I know I sound rather backdated in todays times but I’d rather have a sound begining to my married life..who knows what is in store for us anyway..why make it harder by bringing in this new problem of competing in the bed..for gods sake thats the last place I want competition.Remember to stick your finger in her vagina on your wedding night to make sure the “Seal” is still there though….

  17. In this market of “supply and demand”, it may be true that at the end of the day, there is more demand for virgin girls.I think virginity is a personal issue, and sexual preference does not make a person good or bad. There are far more qualities which are more important to consider in selecting spouse than to worry about sexual preference.
    I’ll tell you why that most of Tamil men prefer virgins. Virgins are more innocent and faithfull they know the meaning of monogamy. Marrying a non virgin Tamil girls is dangerous because she is most likely to cheat on you after marriage (trust me i’ve seen it by my own eyes),or divorce you and claim 50% of your wealth .I don’t care how much she is educated or wealthy..A virgin wife will always be better than the non virgin.
    Virginity for the female is given more importance than that for the male (although it is admirable for the male too) because the act of sexual penetration is done to the female. Also, women are evolutionaraily suited towards monogamy and committment. They produce limited ovum for a limited time. Men on the other hand are producing sperm into their 70s and 80s. Men can attract younger women even in their 60s with silver hair making them look sexy, but women past 40 tend to have NO luck attracting men because they get old and saggy.
    Women are innately more emotional regarding sex than men, and intercourse with multiple partners leaves them with emotional scars whereas for men, multiple partners infuses them with a sense of virility. The above is ESPECIALLY true for Tamils. So, to all my fellow western Tamil males: Enjoy good, safe sex with the westernized Tamil women who are pretty good at intercourse while young and in College. Once marriage time comes, have your parents find you a pretty, virginal bride from Sri Lanka. You can teach her the ropes and have a good clean married life. Yes I agree with you 100% about the competition with other men in her life that is the reason when i want to get married i am going to ensure she is a virgin even if it takes a medical exam of my prospective wife. Come on, if she is a virgin she has nothing to hide and so would her parents ..I guess. I know I sound rather backdated in todays times but I’d rather have a sound begining to my married life..who knows what is in store for us anyway..why make it harder by bringing in this new problem of competing in the bed..for gods sake thats the last place I want competition.Remember to stick your finger in her vagina on your wedding night to make sure the “Seal” is still there though….

  18. To all the men out there who think its ok to use women just because they are biologically made promiscuous, may I just ask, Is it ok if you were a son of a bitch? Or is it ok for your son to have a bitch for his mother. Get married early to manage your sexual needs or simply Spent your seed if the need arises. Life would be good if you took the trouble to care it the way you eventually want it to be.

  19. A girl who is not a Virgin and have had a lot of SEXUAL relations will always give the answer – I DON’T care of my future husband VIRGINITY. To encourage other decent people to do the same….

  20. Usha Malini Your Indian Tamil you can’t talk about crap 99% of Indian Tamils are too dark or shapeless.While I agree that the lower castes Tamils look ugly (too dark). But the Sri Lankan and Indian Tamil from upper castes are very good looking in general they have Golden/Olive oil/Fair skin type with perfect features and height while 90% of Tamils from lower caste have very dark skin and ugly features which is not attractive at all.

  21. Typical feminist…..
    1-As a Tamil, you might understand that virginity is important to a girl. Our back home mentality would say that kudumba maanam is hung up on a daughter’s virginity. As much as I am a huge fan of our culture and traditions, boys listen carefully: we don’t live back home anymore and it’s the 21st century. We are surrounded by people who don’t believe in the same things we do. It’s only natural for people to adapt, especially when they are into the 3rd or 4th generations after their parents moved here.

    Engada culture la olukam mukiyam. A girl with a bad reputation can bring shame to the familly of the groom and cause troubles for the marriage of the groom sibllings.So it make sense that we select the virgin girl for marriage.

    2-So boys let me get this straight. It’s completely acceptable for you to drink, smoke, have sex, gamble and other shenanigans. But none of the above are allowed to be done by your so-called future wife. I don’t know girls, if you ask me that makes total sense(!)

    Its not about being a man thing,its not about so called “equal rights” but the kind of social responsibility women have.You talk about equality but biologically speaking, they arent the same and many of the society norms are based on this simple biological differences.A man IS EXPECTED to work and earn simply because he is the stronger sex and he can afford to go out and take the struggle just like how a woman IS EXPECTED to take care of her child because of her motherly nature.There fore equality is not the same everywhere.Simple logic,isnt it? 

    So,in the same way,a woman drinking has more moral impact than a man drinking,because women are looked upon as the “motherly” gender,a gender which is capable of love and affection more than male gender.Its not about whether a man drinking is right, both are wrong but its about which is MORE wrong.I don’t think anyone would want their mom be be drunk and lying on the road any lesser than having their dad lying on the road.You have two children,one is good while other is bad.What would concern you even more?…you bad child smoking or your good child smoking?.I guess the bet would be on the good one smoking.Same logic, its because women are viewed as motherly and paragon of Goodness,they dont want a women to get spoilt. 

    Also there are so many other issues related to health,security.Like many others have said, Women have pregnancy issues.A man can afford to drink heavily and lie on the road in the midnight but its extremely unsafe for a women to be in the same position.Its not about one is good and other is bad but one is bad while other is worse 

    You can have equality for so many good things, to get job opportunities, to get educational opportunities,to even fight in the army and many more.These are things where having an equality is worth it.Why should you fight for “equal” rights for going bad?, why do you want to compete with men in – who is more bad – men or women?,that would not be appropriate,would it?

    3-If you sleep with Tamil girls who you say the right things to and make them feel great and then leave – when it comes to marriage, trust me brother you won’t have anyone left. And to be honest, that serves you right. The saddest part is you would think boys with sisters, female cousins and girl mates would understand this. But you would be surprised.

    I simply can’t offer better examples than The Anonymous Man’s post does.So I will just copy and past it.

    Stop saying like a clown that she has been used.
    Is she is 8yr old girl that she can be used?
    She is an adult and she should know what is right and wrong.
    The word “USED” is used for a victim who has trapped by frauds or “UNWILLINGLY”, but “WILLINGLY” indulging in s*xual activity is not called “USED”. It was 50-50 “ENTERTAINMENT” for both the adults.

    How many Tamil girls have sex before marriage ? 
    The answer varies depends on her IQ , if its easy to trick women into having sex then they will have a lot of sex and blame their stupidity on Beta Provider 

    See “Getting used by men is not a cheap mentality” but Marrying a virgin is “Cheap mentality” 
    You are suppose to Judge 
    see Low IQ leads to lower Impulse Control and sex before marriage , I mean Girls marry at age of 25-30 if she is not a virgin then what does it mean ? she is stupid , she gives away her vagina like that . Stop giving respect to these , and stop asking for their approval. It was your own fault for being cheated.

    No man is having sex with a woman without her consent (except in rapes and ‘real’ rapes are very few). Woman is 90% responsible for intercourse between man and woman. That is why societies controlled women in late centuries. So man is not taking advantage, but woman is exploiting a man by allowing him .

    Men take advantage of women only if women allow men to. It is the woman who decides whether to make company with a man, whether to go round with him, whether to invite him or go to him, whether to allow him to touch her, whether to allow him to undress her and it goes on… so everything up to women, not men. Men are affectionate to women by nature. Men only can propose, it is the women who decides whether to approve and do immoral things. If the women are good, men also become good automatically, if the women are bad, men take advantage of it. Thats how it works.

    4-If a girl wants to have sex, she will. That’s her right and her body. That doesn’t define her personality. I personally believe in sex after marriage not because of all of the above, but because I want it to be with that one person. And you might think I’m totally crazy, but I want my future husband to be the same. It is logical that I can expect that. If I can wait, someone out there can too!

    I want a virgin wife because Firstly, sex with a virgin . Is a unique experience where you feel connected to another person on a spiritual level and I think if you have sex with multiple partners especially before marriage, you will be leaving parts of your soul (that unique connectivity) behind.

    When you have sex with your life partner, it creates a special bond between you. But when you go around sleeping with just any random people then sex loses its meaning and what you are merely left with is lust.Which is the reason why we chose a virgin girl for marriage instead of marrying for money.“Could you imagine
    a non virgin being the mother of your daughter or son” – 

    This is how I see things. No judgment from me towards the other folks with different opinions. Peace out.

    5-Boys, this wasn’t an attack on your species – just advice that maybe you need to change your mindset a little and be a bit more open-minded. If you want to marry a virgin then be one. But don’t shut someone down just because they aren’t.

    Lets change the society together. Lets change Man’s duties with Woman’s. Now Women will earn and Men will be unemployed. Lets make a world where Males will sell their body to Females for the earnings. After all we all want Women Empowerment. Hurray !!

  22. I simply can’t offer better examples than The Anonymous Man’s post does.So I will just copy and past it.
    Stop saying like a clown that she has been used.
    Is she is 8yr old girl that she can be used?
    She is an adult and she should know what is right and wrong.
    The word “USED” is used for a victim who has trapped by frauds or “UNWILLINGLY”, but “WILLINGLY” indulging in s*xual activity is not called “USED”. It was 50-50 “ENTERTAINMENT” for both the adults.

    How many Tamil girls have sex before marriage ? 
    The answer varies depends on her IQ , if its easy to trick women into having sex then they will have a lot of sex and blame their stupidity on Beta Provider 

    See “Getting used by men is not a cheap mentality” but Marrying a virgin is “Cheap mentality” 
    You are suppose to Judge 
    see Low IQ leads to lower Impulse Control and sex before marriage , I mean Girls marry at age of 25-30 if she is not a virgin then what does it mean ? she is stupid , she gives away her vagina like that . Stop giving respect to these , and stop asking for their approval. It was your own fault for being cheated.

    No man is having sex with a woman without her consent (except in rapes and ‘real’ rapes are very few). Woman is 90% responsible for intercourse between man and woman. That is why societies controlled women in late centuries. So man is not taking advantage, but woman is exploiting a man by allowing him .

    Men take advantage of women only if women allow men to. It is the woman who decides whether to make company with a man, whether to go round with him, whether to invite him or go to him, whether to allow him to touch her, whether to allow him to undress her and it goes on… so everything up to women, not men. Men are affectionate to women by nature. Men only can propose, it is the women who decides whether to approve and do immoral things. If the women are good, men also become good automatically, if the women are bad, men take advantage of it. Thats how it works.

  23. ^ all I’m gonna say is your an a*shole for putting that comment crudely and ppl like you tarnish our beautiful Tamil culture

  24. If that is his preference, then that is totally ok!
    Everyone has preferences, if women demand men to be taller and earn more, then men should be able to pick the sort of person they want to fund and pay for, since men usually marry women who are going to stay at home while they work.
    It’s understandable why men would want virgins, they are disciplined, and can control their sexual urges. No sti’s, including emotional sti’s. No bonding to their first sex partner, because there isn’t any.
    Many people forget that there is a thing called retrospective jealousy, men feel this more than women in regards to their lovers, and how bad would it make men feel to think about all the sexual partners that woman went through?
    Lots of men dont want used partners and the thought of their wife being previously deep d*cked and c*mmed in by other men would make their husbands feel retrospective jealousy (its normal).
    So I can understand the preference for virgins, its a emotional relief for the male partner
    The women will be at home pregnant, so men need to find a person they can trust when they are away from home. Or they could end up with a person who lacks morals and thinks adultery is ok, because premaritial sex is ok.

  25. ^ your bringing in the caste system….it’s f*ckin 2015 buddy get with the times and stop dividing tamils apart it’s people like you that are keeping us divided

  26. So what if it’s 2015 ? People say humans have no cast or the only 

    cast of a human is their humanity. This might

    sound so good as a slogan but it is 

    SCIENTIFICALLY WRONG. We humans DO have a cast

    Even a fruit like mango has different types

    in the same way humans also have different

    was born in the  Germany  and  never, it cannot happen, and will not happen.

    Tamil parents do take the blame on themselves, in order to protect the wrong actions of their kids, but, they too know the reality.

    The fact is that when the parents die, of those people who do intercsate marriages, no relative arrives at their death bed.

    So this won’t happen.

    I am sure you can find a lot of us youngsters, barely through our 20s, but already having staunch opinions about almost everything around us. 

    We fight for our rights to question others’ beliefs.

    We fight for our rights to keep our own.

    We fight for our rights to disagree openly with others’ opinions.

    We fight against being forced to accept/be happy about situations/beliefs that we do not like.

    We also accept that others have the right to keep their beliefs and act accordingly.

    Aren’t  our  parents doing the same thing?

    They have the right to question your belief in inter-caste marriages.

    They also have the right to not believe in inter-caste marriages and value what society and relatives think of them.

    They have the right to openly disagree with you.

    They have a right to not be forced to be happy about something they genuinely don’t like.

    And they are allowing you to marry the guy of your choice.

    Generally speaking, a marriage is a union between two different individuals. Who have their different personalities,opinions,etc. So your entire lifetime will be spent in trying to handle your ‘differences’ and you both will be learning to live with each others ‘differences’. 
    Now add to that,other differences like caste, religion,region,mother tongue etc. It will be more than an average human can handle? And dont think these are minor. With difference in caste comes difference in traditions,cooking,way of life itself !!!

    What caste you belong to affects your image to others, your values, your culture.The higher the status of your caste, the better off you will be. The family into which a person is born into is bound to have quite a few characteristics imbibed by his family. Reasoning thus, irrespective of caste system, the person will have certain traits. Because people belonging to certain “Caste” have some common set of practices, yes, “Caste” system does have an “influence” on habits culture and social organization. Eelam Tamils in Europe normally marry within same caste because it becomes easy for them to adjust with each other as many practices would be familiar or convenient.

  27. MarkNiru  Many Tamil females have sex with loads of guys than when it come to ‘marriage’ they lie about theri virginty to get married to a decent guy. How you can trust such person?Which is why all the guys in my familly chosed to get an arranged marriage in Sri Lanka with very young girls.In Sri Lanka there are some communities.Where during the finalisation of an ‘arranged marriage’ . A few experienced and aged ladies do the physical examination of bride!!!.
    The reason is that those ladies also used to check if there is any other apparent desease/rashes or physical abnormalities problems (undeveloped/missing structures) besides mental condition check and ancestral background checks.
    How do you define your identity? In my family’s case  everyone  was born in the  Canada but everyone identify themself with our  Tamil identity. No one has any regrets .My parents will start searching a girl as soon as i get a job,with a Sri Lankan Tamil bride from the country because  almost allTamil Canadian girls are  characterless and are not marriage material.
    People who say that you wont get any girls with that attitude are just stupid. I am a Tamil guy from Eelam and I’m only attracted to decent cultural tamil girls not the westernised ones.I’ll tell you why more and more Tamil guys are going for non-Tamil girls). It’s because especially here in the west, Tamil girls are empty airheads who haven’t got a clue; they need their mum and dad even when they’re wiping their arse. They’ve been spoilt and think only about money.
    They have such an overilflated opinion of themselves, that they start to belive that they can go for any guy they like, not realising that they’re the pisstake of the lot. Even the educated ones, they think they’re better even than the educated Oxford types, and they become ashamed of who they and their parents are and think that by marrying out, they can disguise themselves.
    I for one stay away from these creatures because they’ve got alot to learn, and so far they’re thick as pig-****.
    In my experience women don’t handle rejection well. At all. Especially Tamil women. Women are not used to being rejected. I don’t think any woman could handle the amount of rejection the average guy confronts on a daily basis. All the moreso the average Tamil guy!
    That said, anytime I turn a girl down overtly there’s a part of me that fears she’ll go “Fatal Attraction” on me. Normally I fade out and hope that they “get the hint”. 

    If that fails, it’s time to recycle the old “no sparks / no chemistry / it’s not you it’s me / my life is too hectic for a relationship right now” …. and all the other BS lines.

    Trust me there are alot of virgins out there so go  and get one.

  28. I agree with you my tamil brother…well said. My experience with tamil girls in Canada has been the same. Most of them are confused “princesses” bring the double standard rule as an excuse when it comes to only sexual subjects and cooking. As a man we know our role and they should too. If anyone has a problem with culture and morals then they shouldn’t choose to be part of it when it benefits them. Western problems usually get solved by using eastern teachings and techniques. This article was probably written by a girl not women who wants to blame men for her insecurities. Do us all a favor….. have sex with whoever you want and start a blog called white culture and see if that solves your problems. I pity alot of tamil girls who just have no direction… want things that they can’t have have or handle. they should understand what the history of North America is really about and what it still doing to people here.

  29. borderlesstamil  Get a bride from Sri Lanka brother , they are much better. You can get a young hot virgin wife from the age of 16-22 ,she will cook,clean for you and have sex with you whenever you want. It’s the perfect deal They are also less demanding and grateful for everything.They know Tamil culture and their place unlike western born Tamil girls who are not worth marrying.The ones from the country are the best marriage material.

  30. borderlesstamil  When it comes to marriage, I can’t imagine marrying a used woman.. It’s friggin disgusting – How the hell do I give her oraI sex when some other man fcked her?Would you drink out of a cup that some other man ejaculated in? How could you kiss her mouth knowing that some other man fcked all her holes/ Non-virgins are good for sex.. But my wife and the future mother of my children needs to be a virgin.. Virgins have fresher wombs.. Don’t want my children grown in a womb , and born from a vagina dirtied from other men’s semen.

    Its insanely difficult for me to see them as potential anythings. I keep thinking “Used Goods” , “Nothing Special” ,”sloppy leftovers” “damaged goods” “depreciated car” “walking toilet” etc and I instantly friend zone them. It doesn’t even matter how nice they are..attractive or anything…I instantly lose my excitement.

  31. Suthasri borderlesstamil

    Whether or not you are a virgin, it is your right not to marry “leftovers”.I cringe at the sight of  Tamil females forsaking their virginity, risking pregnancy, aborting, etc.  It’s a matter of trust. Trust is the fundamental basis of a successful long term marriage. Without trust, a marriage, a relationship cannot exist for long. No long term commitment can be based on mistrust. Thus, being a virgin girl  at marriage preserves the trust from the very beginning of that committed relationship. All other alternatives raises the probabilities of mistrust, separation and divorce. If you’ve been married before, then re-building the trust between partners before and during marriage is the challenge. That’s why so many marriages end in divorce because mistrust cannot be reconciled. Many women who lost their virginity prior to marriage conceived children out of wedlock and became single moms for many years.

    They become “one of the guys”. How do other guys do it? How do you have sex with a female who has had one or more guys in her? Or women who have had children by other men? IMPOSSIBLE for me…its not even a fkng question….its a definite….my dad was like “yeah right son, you’ll see. Could you honestly say if you met a really nice woman and she already had a kid you wouldn’t consider loving her?”

  32. A lot of  Tamil female seem to think that a guy wanting to marry a virgin is somehow soooooo different from a guy who wants a woman he finds attractive, or a woman who wants a guy who can provide for their family. Seriously get over yourselves…simply because we live in a hostile feminist climate where ANY expectations a man may have for his wife are considered oppressive and wrong, that doesn’t mean that a man is wrong for searching for specific characteristics for his future bride to have.

  33. Vellaykarangalukku Thamil Pundaygala Koottikuduththa Thamil Payalgalukku idhu sinna vishayam. Anaal sinna vayasule irundhu decenta valarndhu wedding mudinju fist nighla palaya petti odanja punda kidaychcha awan paavam. Naan lucky.

  34. One of the most irritating aspects of feminism is the learnt idiocy of pretending that male and female are the same, or that there are no significant differences, or that whatever applies to one must equally apply to the other.
    Once we recognise that the basal proposition – that the sexes are equal – is factually untrue because women have babies and men don’t, the whole edifice of feminist theory collapses.
    A non-virgin bride represents a risk of bringing another man’s child into the marriage, which the husband needs to support under obligation of his marriage vow; thus defrauding the man of the reproductive benefit of the marriage, for which he is giving all his income and capital for life.
    The same does not apply to a non-virgin groom. He in no way frustrates the reproductive interest of his wife.
    So there is no reason for society to consider them as the same, or equal, or reciprocal.
    Because women carry the babies for a lengthly amount of time. It changes their bodies. Then they go through labour. Then they have a lengthy lactation period. Often they do the majority of the child raising. All men have to do is bust a nut.
    Women age much faster than men. thats why most men who marry a woman around their same age feels less attracted as they grow old. the woman will look older than the man. so its better to marry a girl 5-12 yrs younger than u .
    Women are most “valuable” (from an evolutionary stand point) when they are younger because it means they are healthier physically.
    Men are most “valuable” (from an evolutionary stand point) when they are older because they have status, seem tougher for having lived longer, and are more in control or themselves.
    Women who lose there virginity before marriage, or too young aren’t powerful or unique and i don’t want my child mothered by a houndog, crying all the time over her mistakes. I like a women with Morales, class and a backbone to say no to disgusting average joes. I want to know that the women i will spend the rest of my life with stays true to me and shares the most intimate thing in life, sex, with me only. Women are beautiful and its a wonderful world but, thing is; it aint the world thats a bad place, its the people it in, if we just gave the world a chance and learnt from mistakes and didn’t give things such as virginity away so so easily, then maybe, we could all be happy, you know. Why give something away, that you can’t ever give back to the wrong person? The right person only is the person you marry, nobody else is the right person. You woudn’t give your money you owe your parents to a random stranger, its the same principle.

  35. Tamil women need to adapt to Tamil culture or die alone. As for white and black males they will use you for sex but will never marry you.

  36. I am a born Canadian citizen, and I do like Canada very much. It is the biggest wealth creating society the worl has ever known. Canadian economic opportunities (aka “western culture”) are staggering. BUT…the social structure has many more flaws in it than does in Tamil social structure. One can have the best of both worlds, which is what my original point was. If one is a smart, aggressive, good looking Indian man in Canada, you can enjoy the readily available white women and Westernized Tamil women and take full advantage of the Money. However, in my opinion, the vast majority of white women and westernized Tamil women are not suitable for marriage (with virginity being one of the reasons), and one should thus get a bride from Sri Lanka whose form and complexion are agreeable to your fancy and then love and cherish her. THATS ALL !!!
    For us Tamil men, we always have our beautiful chaste Tamil girls . Playas should always look towards the homeland when it comes to finding a wife, so that we can avoid the dumb girls (who tend to be studying crap like marketing, sociology, psychology, accounting etc at college) who give away their virginity so easily”
    For many Tamil men, the ideal is a woman with the outer beauty of a Tamil woman here and the inner beauty of a Tamil woman back home. Any woman can go from a 6 to an 10 with a proper understanding of style and presentation. While outer beauty is easy to fix, inner beauty is much harder to change

  37. Well said machi !Older man can marry a young hot wife but the opposite is not possible. There are Several reasons. 1), women claim to mature faster than men, so wouldn’t a younger guy be extra immature for an older female? 2) She will hit menopause at the same time he is hitting his peak as a man. 3) in our society, a man at 22 most likely cannot support himself, much less a family, so what is he doing marrying a woman with ticking biological clock? As for me I’m definitely grateful for being born Tamil. Arranged marriage with young virgin girls from the country =EPIC WIN
    Lets compare them virgin and non virgin to cars a I would only marry a virgin girl because they are like a brand new sports car with no mileage on them and that non virgin women are like used cars with 100k on the odometer etc.

  38. I am a born Canadian citizen, and I do like Canada very much. It is the biggest wealth creating society the worl has ever known. Canadian economic opportunities (aka “western culture”) are staggering. BUT…the social structure has many more flaws in it than does in Tamil social structure. One can have the best of both worlds, which is what my original point was. If one is a smart, aggressive, good looking Indian man in Canada, you can enjoy the readily available white women and Westernized Tamil women and take full advantage of the Money. However, in my opinion, the vast majority of white women and westernized Tamil women are not suitable for marriage (with virginity being one of the reasons), and one should thus get a bride from Sri Lanka whose form and complexion are agreeable to your fancy and then love and cherish her. THATS ALL !!!For us Tamil men, we always have our beautiful chaste Tamil girls . Playas should always look towards the homeland when it comes to finding a wife, so that we can avoid the dumb girls (who tend to be studying crap like marketing, sociology, psychology, accounting etc at college) who give away their virginity so easily” 
    For many Tamil men, the ideal is a woman with the outer beauty of a Tamil woman here and the inner beauty of a Tamil woman back home. Any woman can go from a 6 to an 10 with a proper understanding of style and presentation. While outer beauty is easy to fix, inner beauty is much harder to change

  39. Its not about being a man thing,its not about so called “equal rights” but the kind of social responsibility women have.You talk about equality but biologically speaking, they arent the same and many of the society norms are based on this simple biological differences.A man IS EXPECTED to work and earn simply because he is the stronger sex and he can afford to go out and take the struggle just like how a woman IS EXPECTED to take care of her child because of her motherly nature.There fore equality is not the same everywhere.Simple logic,isnt it? 
    So,in the same way,a woman drinking has more moral impact than a man drinking,because women are looked upon as the “motherly” gender,a gender which is capable of love and affection more than male gender.Its not about whether a man drinking is right, both are wrong but its about which is MORE wrong.I don’t think anyone would want their mom be be drunk and lying on the road any lesser than having their dad lying on the road.You have two children,one is good while other is bad.What would concern you even more?…you bad child smoking or your good child smoking?.I guess the bet would be on the good one smoking.Same logic, its because women are viewed as motherly and paragon of Goodness,they dont want a women to get spoilt. 
    Also there are so many other issues related to health,security.Like many others have said, Women have pregnancy issues.A man can afford to drink heavily and lie on the road in the midnight but its extremely unsafe for a women to be in the same position.Its not about one is good and other is bad but one is bad while other is worse 
    You can have equality for so many good things, to get job opportunities, to get educational opportunities,to even fight in the army and many more.These are things where having an equality is worth it.Why should you fight for “equal” rights for going bad?, why do you want to compete with men in – who is more bad – men or women?,that would not be appropriate,would it

  40. yep, french thamilan, ongalukku theriyuma innoru vidayam, romba podiyanmar Sri Lankavila Kondu vanda Virgin Pettaygalum kalyanam ana pinnar konja natkalileya ungal nattil ulla multi male sex ku thallappadugirargalam. Kaaranam sri lanka wil kooda ippa adu normal vishayamaagi vittadu. The reasons are, a) modern technology of communication b) trend of social media 3) male’s (in sri lanka, husband’s) job.

  41. Kumaran Markandu
    Generally speaking, a marriage is a union between two different individuals. Who have their different personalities,opinions,etc. So your entire lifetime will be spent in trying to handle your ‘differences’ and you both will be learning to live with each others ‘differences’.
    Now add to that,other differences like caste, religion,region,mother tongue etc. It will be more than an average human can handle? And dont think these are minor. With difference in caste comes difference in traditions,cooking,way of life itself !!!
    What caste you belong to affects your image to others, your values, your culture.The higher the status of your caste, the better off you will be. The family into which a person is born into is bound to have quite a few characteristics imbibed by his family. Reasoning thus, irrespective of caste system, the person will have certain traits. Because people belonging to certain “Caste” have some common set of practices, yes, “Caste” system does have an “influence” on habits culture and social organization. Eelam Tamils in Europe normally marry within same caste because it becomes easy for them to adjust with each other as many practices would be familiar or convenient.
    Let me tell you what Tamil Parents look at the prospective partner.
    1. Caste
    2-Virginity
    3. Wealth
    4. Family connections
    5. Family status
    6. Spouse Income
    7. Skin Color
    8. Educational Qualifications
    9.. Height, Weight, Toes, Foot Soles (coz flat feet are considered bad luck)
    10.. Matching each other Astro-horoscopes.
    11. Dowry, and a laundry list of things other than love

  42. The simpliest answer is always the best answer. The reason why males like and prefer virgins is because this means that the girl in question hasn’t been with anyone else sexually. Perhaps to some it is about bragging rights, but believe it or not, the majority of males like virgins, because they want to be the only one the girl has ever been with, and hopefully all the girl will ever be with if the connection is there between them. For this reason, it is why it is still a foundation of old-world society for the girl to wait till marriage to have sex, because you’re only suppose to be with your husband and nobody else. Old fashion, maybe, but it serves a purpose. A girl is meant to save herself for her wedding night; plain and simple. From my perspective, if the girl I was with wasn’t a virgin, then she’s not marriage material, because it shows a lack of self-control to wait till your wed to have sex.
    In this answer, I will try to expose to you the hidden agenda of some women. Before that, let me tell you that there is nothing immoral in wanting to marry a virgin girl. Some ladies do have a problem with men wanting that, but then that is their problem. Remember that all women are not like that, some really like this idea of wanting to marry a virgin spouse, like my sister does. She says,
    “Just like men seek for a virgin wife, women may also seek for a virgin husband, and that is completely fine.”
    A majority of Tamil girl in Canada cherish this idea that one should remain virgin until one marries. But this mindset does not bode well with the intentions of those unmarried women who want to lose (or have already lost) their virginity, because due to their broken hymen it becomes a bit difficult for these women to lie about their virginity at the time of marriage. So they have their vested interest which is that:
    ‘They want a society where less and less men are seeking a virgin wife, so that they can have sex before marriage without having to deal with the problem of lying at the time of their marriage.’
    It is their agenda, not yours. Even if you are an empathetic pro-social person, it is not a kind of agenda you should feel obliged to be supportive of. There are many serious causes of activism in this world. You should better pay attention to those more serious causes rather than support the agenda of these arguably unethical women.
    But beware, for these women will try their best to make everyone, including you, think that your kind of mindset is immoral. They have even succeeded in doing so to a great extent, because there are a lot of gullible people out there. To convince you, these women have all sorts of words they will fire at you- like backward, orthodox, uneducated, and god-knows-what. They have mastered the art of sophistry. Their favorite counter-argument is this:
    Like “How can you think like that in the 21st century?”
    But you, my brotha, be a rational person and change your mind only if you are given valid arguments, regardless of whether the century you are living in is 21st, 31st, 41st, or 51st. And now that you know the hidden agenda of these women, do not be bothered by their cunning tricks, and keep in mind that you are not immoral in any way.

  43. @Mixle Anoj I was in similar situation as you were and I would like to share my experience with you.
    I am vert rich Tamil guy who was settled in UK since past few years. My parents asked me to start looking for a girl. One day I got a request from a girl from the UK. She was a pretty beautiful girl. She looked like princess and had the most beautiful smile I had ever seen. I felt in love with her when I saw her first.
    I spoke to her on phone for hours and it seemed to like we hit on. She was very smart and playful. She mentioned that she was from a conservative family and her parents were too restricted and she was seeking for a guy who was not a control freak and would give her freedom to build her career. I agreed.
    We discussed about our past relationship. I was single all my life. Ya I was 27 yrs old then and she was 24. She said that she had a couple of relationships in past and I did ask her if she was physical with them and she said no however later I got to know that she lied to me.
    One day when I was sleeping she called me and said “I love you”. I was shocked. I asked her if everything is fine and she asked “Do you love me?”.
    I said I do. I was on cloud 9. I never felt that happiness ever in my life.
    This went along for 3 months. One day she called me a said “There is one thing I have lied to you.”. I asked her if everything is ok. She said “I am not a virgin.”. I was devastated. It just seemed to be that everything she said to me was fake. Things started falling apart. Initially I said it’s ok but then later I just couldn’t see her face. I started ignoring her calls. I goggled and several people said that women’s virginity is nothing don’t judge her bull**** and crap. I just couldn’t face her. She called me one day and said “I love you” but I couldn’t reply back.
    IF YOU ARE A VIRGIN YOU CANNOT HAVE A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP WITH A NON VIRGIN.
    Why do you expect a virgin wife ?
    We have grown up with some moral belief and thinking. That’s the core of our Indian culture.
    My parents taught me that be with one partner and remain faithful to her. I did. I was in UK and I know a lot of my friends had lost virginity in their college days but I knew that’s not me. I moved to uni and had plenty of girls who would have slept with me If I would have asked them too but I had to share those moments with someone special. Having more than one sex partner hinders your ability to connect with you future partner. I don’t say this science does Oxytocin leads to monogamy.
    LOSING VIRGINITY IS NOT PHYSICAL IT’S EMOTIONAL TOO.
    Is sex state compatibility important for a successful marriage ?
    I did say her that I am ok if she is not a virgin but I could not lie to myself. There is no way I was ok with it. Just the feeling that she kissed someone else and every moment she is spending with me has been lived with someone else used to kill me. She was constantly seeking for an approval and she apologized me. I said I love you but I won’t marry you and I walked out of that relationship.
    Our core self and our values are deeply embedded into us. Even if our rational thinking says that it’s not a big deal your inner core will not accept it. She lost me the day when she gave that right to someone else. When you decide to have sex with someone before marriage you lose out all the partners who have preserved their virginity for marriage.
    ACCEPTANCE OF YOUR PARTNER PHYSICALLY AND EMOTIONALLY IS THE MOST IMPORTANT CRITERIA FOR A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE.
    Is it hard to find a virgin spouse?
    Of course not. It all comes to demographics. Sri Lanka is country with millions of decent girls. You will find someone special. I did mine and we both are very happy with each other.
    There are lot of comments here who said that you are narrowing your options and that’s not true. Things which narrow down your options are horoscope, location and hell lot of other ****. You will find girls who are virgin and equally smart and have mutual understanding between the two of you.
    How to figure out if she is a virgin ?
    It’s not difficult to figure out if a girl virgin or not based on their behavior with a very high certainty Can Men Tell if a Woman is a Virgin? You don’t need to break her hymen and all. There is no specific indication about it but if you see more than one signs you can get to know with certainty.
    I never had a relationship in past with anyone but whenever I used to see more than 3-4 hints, I used to tell the girl that I myself had couple of relationship in past. A girl who is virgin will be devastated when you tell her. The trick is people with a past are ok with marrying someone who has a past. Virgins prefer virgins and non-virgins prefer non-virgins. non virgins have certain hypocrites who need a virgin wife but there is nothing wrong with EXPECTING YOUR SPOUSE TO BE VIRGIN .
    In this answer, I will try to expose to you the hidden agenda of some women. Before that, let me tell you that there is nothing immoral in wanting to marry a virgin girl. Some ladies do have a problem with men wanting that, but then that is their problem. Remember that all women are not like that, some really like this idea of wanting to marry a virgin spouse, like my sister does. She says,
    “Just like men seek for a virgin wife, women may also seek for a virgin husband, and that is completely fine.”
    A majority of Tamil peple cherish this idea that one should remain virgin until one marries. But this mindset does not bode well with the intentions of those unmarried women who want to lose (or have already lost) their virginity, because due to their broken hymen it becomes a bit difficult for these women to lie about their virginity at the time of marriage. So they have their vested interest which is that:
    ‘They want a society where less and less men are seeking a virgin wife, so that they can have sex before marriage without having to deal with the problem of lying at the time of their marriage.’
    It is their agenda, not yours. Even if you are an empathetic pro-social person, it is not a kind of agenda you should feel obliged to be supportive of. There are many serious causes of activism in this world. You should better pay attention to those more serious causes rather than support the agenda of these arguably unethical women.
    But beware, for these women will try their best to make everyone, including you, think that your kind of mindset is immoral. They have even succeeded in doing so to a great extent, because there are a lot of gullible people out there. To convince you, these women have all sorts of words they will fire at you- like backward, orthodox, uneducated, and god-knows-what. They have mastered the art of sophistry. Their favorite counter-argument is this:
    “How can you think like that in the 21st century?”
    But you, my friend, be a rational person and change your mind only if you are given valid arguments, regardless of whether the century you are living in is 21st, 31st, 41st, or 51st. And now that you know the hidden agenda of these women, do not be bothered by their cunning tricks, and keep in mind that you are not immoral in any way.
    And all-those open minded , modern hypocrites, please stop imposing your thoughts on someone not like you. You are a free citizen, so are others. You maintain your own privacy, its your life, but don’t play with others’, they have got a life too.

  44. Anoj I was in similar situation as you were and I would like to share my experience with you.
    I am vert rich Tamil guy who was settled in UK since past few years. My parents asked me to start looking for a girl. One day I got a request from a girl from the UK. She was a pretty beautiful girl. She looked like princess and had the most beautiful smile I had ever seen. I felt in love with her when I saw her first.
    I spoke to her on phone for hours and it seemed to like we hit on. She was very smart and playful. She mentioned that she was from a conservative family and her parents were too restricted and she was seeking for a guy who was not a control freak and would give her freedom to build her career. I agreed.
    We discussed about our past relationship. I was single all my life. Ya I was 27 yrs old then and she was 24. She said that she had a couple of relationships in past and I did ask her if she was physical with them and she said no however later I got to know that she lied to me.
    One day when I was sleeping she called me and said “I love you”. I was shocked. I asked her if everything is fine and she asked “Do you love me?”.
    I said I do. I was on cloud 9. I never felt that happiness ever in my life.
    This went along for 3 months. One day she called me a said “There is one thing I have lied to you.”. I asked her if everything is ok. She said “I am not a virgin.”. I was devastated. It just seemed to be that everything she said to me was fake. Things started falling apart. Initially I said it’s ok but then later I just couldn’t see her face. I started ignoring her calls. I goggled and several people said that women’s virginity is nothing don’t judge her bull**** and crap. I just couldn’t face her. She called me one day and said “I love you” but I couldn’t reply back.
    IF YOU ARE A VIRGIN YOU CANNOT HAVE A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP WITH A NON VIRGIN.
    Why do you expect a virgin wife ?
    We have grown up with some moral belief and thinking. That’s the core of our Indian culture.
    My parents taught me that be with one partner and remain faithful to her. I did. I was in UK and I know a lot of my friends had lost virginity in their college days but I knew that’s not me. I moved to uni and had plenty of girls who would have slept with me If I would have asked them too but I had to share those moments with someone special. Having more than one sex partner hinders your ability to connect with you future partner. I don’t say this science does Oxytocin leads to monogamy.
    LOSING VIRGINITY IS NOT PHYSICAL IT’S EMOTIONAL TOO.
    Is sex state compatibility important for a successful marriage ?
    I did say her that I am ok if she is not a virgin but I could not lie to myself. There is no way I was ok with it. Just the feeling that she kissed someone else and every moment she is spending with me has been lived with someone else used to kill me. She was constantly seeking for an approval and she apologized me. I said I love you but I won’t marry you and I walked out of that relationship.
    Our core self and our values are deeply embedded into us. Even if our rational thinking says that it’s not a big deal your inner core will not accept it. She lost me the day when she gave that right to someone else. When you decide to have sex with someone before marriage you lose out all the partners who have preserved their virginity for marriage.
    ACCEPTANCE OF YOUR PARTNER PHYSICALLY AND EMOTIONALLY IS THE MOST IMPORTANT CRITERIA FOR A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE.
    Is it hard to find a virgin spouse?
    Of course not. It all comes to demographics. Sri Lanka is country with millions of decent girls. You will find someone special. I did mine and we both are very happy with each other.
    There are lot of comments here who said that you are narrowing your options and that’s not true. Things which narrow down your options are horoscope, location and hell lot of other ****. You will find girls who are virgin and equally smart and have mutual understanding between the two of you.
    How to figure out if she is a virgin ?
    It’s not difficult to figure out if a girl virgin or not based on their behavior with a very high certainty Can Men Tell if a Woman is a Virgin? You don’t need to break her hymen and all. There is no specific indication about it but if you see more than one signs you can get to know with certainty.
    I never had a relationship in past with anyone but whenever I used to see more than 3-4 hints, I used to tell the girl that I myself had couple of relationship in past. A girl who is virgin will be devastated when you tell her. The trick is people with a past are ok with marrying someone who has a past. Virgins prefer virgins and non-virgins prefer non-virgins. non virgins have certain hypocrites who need a virgin wife but there is nothing wrong with EXPECTING YOUR SPOUSE TO BE VIRGIN .
    In this answer, I will try to expose to you the hidden agenda of some women. Before that, let me tell you that there is nothing immoral in wanting to marry a virgin girl. Some ladies do have a problem with men wanting that, but then that is their problem. Remember that all women are not like that, some really like this idea of wanting to marry a virgin spouse, like my sister does. She says,
    “Just like men seek for a virgin wife, women may also seek for a virgin husband, and that is completely fine.”
    A majority of Tamil peple cherish this idea that one should remain virgin until one marries. But this mindset does not bode well with the intentions of those unmarried women who want to lose (or have already lost) their virginity, because due to their broken hymen it becomes a bit difficult for these women to lie about their virginity at the time of marriage. So they have their vested interest which is that:
    ‘They want a society where less and less men are seeking a virgin wife, so that they can have sex before marriage without having to deal with the problem of lying at the time of their marriage.’
    It is their agenda, not yours. Even if you are an empathetic pro-social person, it is not a kind of agenda you should feel obliged to be supportive of. There are many serious causes of activism in this world. You should better pay attention to those more serious causes rather than support the agenda of these arguably unethical women.
    But beware, for these women will try their best to make everyone, including you, think that your kind of mindset is immoral. They have even succeeded in doing so to a great extent, because there are a lot of gullible people out there. To convince you, these women have all sorts of words they will fire at you- like backward, orthodox, uneducated, and god-knows-what. They have mastered the art of sophistry. Their favorite counter-argument is this:
    “How can you think like that in the 21st century?”
    But you, my friend, be a rational person and change your mind only if you are given valid arguments, regardless of whether the century you are living in is 21st, 31st, 41st, or 51st. And now that you know the hidden agenda of these women, do not be bothered by their cunning tricks, and keep in mind that you are not immoral in any way.
    And all-those open minded , modern hypocrites, please stop imposing your thoughts on someone not like you. You are a free citizen, so are others. You maintain your own privacy, its your life, but don’t play with others’, they have got a life too.

  45. Suthasri In Sri Lanka, motherhood within marriage is highly valued. Sex out of wedlock is socially unacceptable and can create serious public health problems such as illegal abortions, suicide and infanticide, and single motherhood as a result of premarital sex is considered shameful. The way unmarried women facing single motherhood reflect on and make use of their agency in their social environments characterised by limited social and financial support has consequences for the health and well-being of both themselves and their children. The aim of this study was to explore and describe how unmarried women facing single motherhood in Sri Lanka handle their situation.

    http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3626789/

    Like Sean pointed outThere is nothing casual about casual sex.One out of 5 women are infected by HSV. Are men expected to be okay with that?No smart men would get into a relationship with promiscuous women who enjoyed their hey days and want some poor sucker once they get older.There are plenty of smart,intelligent women in Sri Lanka who don’t give into their reptilian brains and spread their legs to the first guy that comes across and we end up with them.

  46. MarkNiru Agreed with the brother, go home and find a wife in Sri lanka. The ones in Canada are not marriage material.

  47. Condolences to your future wife, if you can find anyone who will stay with you for more than 1 second.

  48. Suthasri borderlesstamil So you’re telling guys to be pedophiles now? Great comment to reflect Tamil culture.

  49. youvelookedbetter In the Uk ,the legal age is 16 , it is not pedophile to marry a 16 years old girl.

  50. youvelookedbetter He will , we Tamils can always get a wife back home , we are not like westerners, non virgin  Tamils girls in the other hand  die alone if they can’t find a poor pigeon.

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